It's all about me

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Uh, what do you mean by "'real' woman"? Should I be checking out clothing tags or something?

No matter how many sundresses you buy, this rule doesn't apply to you.

TM

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick

And what about belly-flops? Stomach-flops just doesn't sound right.

All exempt.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
What's a "real" woman then?

My ex was a 0 and she seemed real. Inflatable and plastic, but real.

I stole her from SS's pool.

Women's clothing is fucked up. I was folding some laundry the other day and started just throwing my wife's shit into a pile. She bitched about why it wasn't folded and I told her its was too small and stretchy. All women's stuff is so damn small, and none of it folds normally into a neat square like my pants and t-shirts. I guess I shouldn't be complaining, but its all so little and stringy and its always made of these blend fabrics with strange textures. She's 5'6, and her t-shirts are like miniatures compared to mine. I guess I understand why chicks are so weight obsessive. Wearing clothing that looks like its made for sixth graders gives you no margin for weight gain. Hell, I could use some of the dresses as pocket squares.

[Replaced_Texan]

The best example of true love I've ever experienced is letting someone sleep in my bed three hours after I've caught her chewing on my favorite pair of shoes.

My puppy is a very lucky girl.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I think the word "buttocks" is sexy. (Pronounced but' - ux). I heard some aerobics lady use this when I was a pre-teen and have loved it ever since. Also: esophogeal. WAY sexy.

"Buttocks" makes me think of either Forrest Gump ("where'd you get shot, son?" "In the butt-tox") or Life of Bryan (Incontinentia Buttocks). Not sexy.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Good for you, Forrest.

Argh. STP.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
You could use abs, midsection or stomach. And you don't have to be an anatomy timmy about the fact that stomach refers to an organ, since its commonly used to describe the area at issue.

I didn't use "party" - Coltrane did. So Trane can use it, but I can't?

Re: party, absolutely. Because I'd never mock Coltrane.

And your exceptions are eating the belly rule. I think you just hate the chick, but don't want to accept this because you fucked her and it wasn't at the time a hate-fuck, and so you are trying to believe it is her mannerisms and not her. It is not. You fucked someone stupid and obnoxious, and you probably did both before and after her, and you will again, perhaps even tonight.

Perhaps you should find a therapist if you can't accept all of this.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
My ex was a 0 and she seemed real. Inflatable and plastic, but real.

Consider yourself fooled then. You have to be a size 12 or higher to be "real." "Real" women have curves and extensive cellulite. All of them (the real ones). All women deserve fantastic men also. Regardless of the qualities of the woman (or whether she is real).

You can learn A LOT from women's magazines.

[dtb]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I've recently started taking belly-dancing classes (I'm terrible, but that's beside the point. You get to jingle). Are we supposed to be calling it stomach-dancing?

And what about belly-flops? Stomach-flops just doesn't sound right.

I feel compelled to point out here (as it shows that my GWNK and I are of one mind on all things), that I specifically asked for a waiver for the term "belly flop" the last time SD expressed his outrage over the use of the word.

Belly dancing, however, is a new riff.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Women's clothing is fucked up. I was folding some laundry the other day and started just throwing my wife's shit into a pile. She bitched about why it wasn't folded and I told her its was too small and stretchy. All women's stuff is so damn small, and none of it folds normally into a neat square like my pants and t-shirts. I guess I shouldn't be complaining, but its all so little and stringy and its always made of these blend fabrics with strange textures. She's 5'6, and her t-shirts are like miniatures compared to mine. I guess I understand why chicks are so weight obsessive. Wearing clothing that looks like its made for sixth graders gives you no margin for weight gain. Hell, I could use some of the dresses as pocket squares.

While "Everybody Loves Raymond" is a stupid show, Ray's character has proven one thing: ineptitude and utter ignorance of traditional female household duties will prevent you from ever having to do them again.

But I can iron like a motherfucker.

[dtb]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I think the word "buttocks" is sexy. (Pronounced but' - ux).

You mean, as opposed to the way Forrest Gump pronounces it? Especially when he's standing in for Ving Rames (that's not you spell that, is it?) in Pulp Fiction, to wit: "I am going to get medieval on your buttocks."

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Also: esophogeal. WAY sexy.

OK. This, I don't get.

[dtb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Hell, I could use some of the dresses as pocket squares.

Good one.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by dtb
(as it shows that my GWNK and I are of one mind on all things),

Today while watching the morning news show, I found myself outraged at the egregious punctuation of a certain charity's name: "one days pay". I am tempted to go to www.onedayspay.org and complain. So yes, we are of one mind.

edited to note that they got it right on the website now! But not this morning. Maybe someone complained.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
While "Everybody Loves Raymond" is a stupid show, Ray's character has proven one thing: ineptitude and utter ignorance of traditional female household duties will prevent you from ever having to do them again.

But I can iron like a motherfucker.

Just a warning: Pre-ELR, I dumped someone for pulling this shit too often. Well, and because he had a teenie weenie.

Sequels may be stupider* than I am. SD's wife appears to be.


*aka more tolerant

ETA Ray is a motherfucker (they have kids), and he can't iron. So I'm not impressed. But SD may want you to come over and iron his wife's hoochie-mamas and Daisy Dukes.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Re: party, absolutely. Because I'd never mock Coltrane.

And your exceptions are eating the belly rule. I think you just hate the chick, but don't want to accept this because you fucked her and it wasn't at the time a hate-fuck, and so you are trying to believe it is her mannerisms and not her. It is not. You fucked someone stupid and obnoxious, and you probably did both before and after her, and you will again, perhaps even tonight.

Perhaps you should find a therapist if you can't accept all of this.

No, he didn't fuck her, she really was that annoying.