Fashion Board 6-9-04 to 7-13-04

[sunnybunny]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
It is my understanding that in many states, custody/visitation rights and child support is a whole different ballgame from termination of parental rights. Custody/visitation/support is always always always revisitable (though nothing may change if circumstances haven't changed). Termination of parental rights is a one-time, permanent thing, and once that's done, the (now former) parent does not have support obligations.

But it's not my area.


ETA obviously, sister is not all that poor or the public assistance people would be all over enforcing the support arrears.

NO, my sister is not all that poor (don't think pro bono) but with a husband overseas in Iraq and three children in day care and salaries well below those of what we attorneys make, she has a lot of trouble making ends meet. I feel bad for her on this one.

[dtb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Ohhh, that reminds me... check out City of God. Its a hell of a flick. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. Really moves along. Not a wasted sequence anywhere.

And look for the actors who play L'il Ze to wind up playing thugs in Hollywood soon. Both the little kid who plays him as a child and the freak who plays him as an adult are scary, crazy motherfuckers on screen. The adult version is like a low rent, coked-senseless version of Sam Jackson's Pulp Fiction hit man character.

Mr. dtb loved this movie. He's learning Portuguese, and wanted to see how much he could understand. He said it was like trying to understand those guys in Airplane! who speak Jive (and Barbara Billingsley helpfully arrives to translate for the stewardess), or Ebonics* for Portuenhos (I'm sure I've butchered that spelling.)






*As Chris Rock says about Ebonics -- "There's Ebonics, and there's the language you speak if you want to get a job."

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Apropos of nothing, aren't you all (well, not all y'all) glad that your spouse/SO doesn't post here? I mean, I've got a gazillion goofy little habits/bizarre personality defects/weird-ass idiosyncracies that I would just as soon not have all of my imaginary friends know, much less discuss in public.

Hello, my name is Not Bob, and I go to Hal Linden events dressed as a character from "Barney Miller."

It has to some degree changed my posting habits since Mr Man showed up. But I'm not sure which event changed them more - SO posting here or meeting some of you IRL. Both are somewhat inhibiting to free flow of information about my various deviancies.

so now I post about allergy medicine. and the only thing more boring to me than that post was the various "benedryl" replies. my god. what have I done?

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
I wasn't asking what the legal thing to do was, I was asking what the "good mommy" thing to do is, in terms of maintaining relations whith the grandparents, trying to get rid of their rights, or jsut trying to enforce the agreement?

Ignoring the fact, for the moment, that the "good mommy" part went away with marrying and having a child with someone irresponsible she should:

1. Be totally honest with the kid. Trying to ignore the fact that he has a biological father is fucking retarded.

2. Somehow try to stop the grandparents' visitation rights, or try to limit them to supervised visits as they broke the conditions attached to the unsupervised visits.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
NO, my sister is not all that poor (don't think pro bono) but with a husband overseas in Iraq and three children in day care and salaries well below those of what we attorneys make, she has a lot of trouble making ends meet. I feel bad for her on this one.

If you are a Republican, and I think you are, all I have to say for you is that people really need to think about these things before they go having sex and making babies. She should have taken more personal responsibility.

On the offchance that you don't give money to that particular group, unfortunately, it looks like either she's going to have to just not allow the kid to see the grandparents and see what they do, or go to court (either representing herself, or forking over money for a lawyer) and get it dealt with there. If the earlier settlement wasn't a court-approved one, I dunno how seriously the court will take the grandparents' violation of an informal agreement.

And I feel like I'm talking to a non-lawyer.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
I wasn't asking what the legal thing to do was, I was asking what the "good mommy" thing to do is, in terms of maintaining relations whith the grandparents, trying to get rid of their rights, or jsut trying to enforce the agreement?

And you thought you could get the "good mommy" thing here?

Hell, I'm one of like 3 mommies here, and I know for sure, I'm no good.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
My sister is remarried. She has a child from her first husband (a hot surfer who wasn't much of a dad). When she got remarried, her first husband gave up custody and parental rights in order to not pay child support. He had a bit of an alcohol and substance problem and would take the kid out in the car when high/drunk, so you can see why she would want to keep the kid away. I don't think he's any better now. Anyhow, his parents sued for grandparental visitation rights and my sister settled, in order to keep it from dragging on forever. They get the kid for certain periods of time and they are required to not mention their son (re: that he is the kid's father) nor allow their son to have contact with the kid. If he asks about their son for some reason, they are to direct him to my sister. They are not to give out any of my sister's contact info to the dead-beat son. Divorce was like 6 years ago. CHild is 8. Last contact my sister had with ex-husband was aobut 6 months ago. He called at 12:30 a.m. to ask if he could start to see the child again...obviously drunk. My sister chided the grandparents for giving out the contact info and they promised they only did it so that he could talk to her about regaining visitation. They promised to stay out of it and apologized. So, my sister got her kid back after a weedend with the grandparents and they had put the kid on the phone and let him talk to his dad and told him that this was his dad (and not my sister's current husband who adopted him). My sister's really upset. THis likley means more attorney's fees, which she doesn't have (add this to my piling financials). What would you do? Admonish them again? Try to get the visitation revoked or only as supervised????? any thoughts on the best mommy thing to do?

YOU don't do anything. Some folks seem to always step in shit, and the last thing these people need is to to be encouraged to be litigious. Or encouraged to solicit third parties to pay their "lifestyle bills."

BTW, if her second husband can't afford a family court hearing, you might ask her why she keeps picking such winner spouses.

I have a relative by marriage like this. I won't even talk to her when she asks about "legal issues."

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
My sister is remarried. She has a child from her first husband (a hot surfer who wasn't much of a dad). When she got remarried, her first husband gave up custody and parental rights in order to not pay child support. He had a bit of an alcohol and substance problem and would take the kid out in the car when high/drunk, so you can see why she would want to keep the kid away. I don't think he's any better now. Anyhow, his parents sued for grandparental visitation rights and my sister settled, in order to keep it from dragging on forever. They get the kid for certain periods of time and they are required to not mention their son (re: that he is the kid's father) nor allow their son to have contact with the kid. If he asks about their son for some reason, they are to direct him to my sister. They are not to give out any of my sister's contact info to the dead-beat son. Divorce was like 6 years ago. CHild is 8. Last contact my sister had with ex-husband was aobut 6 months ago. He called at 12:30 a.m. to ask if he could start to see the child again...obviously drunk. My sister chided the grandparents for giving out the contact info and they promised they only did it so that he could talk to her about regaining visitation. They promised to stay out of it and apologized. So, my sister got her kid back after a weedend with the grandparents and they had put the kid on the phone and let him talk to his dad and told him that this was his dad (and not my sister's current husband who adopted him). My sister's really upset. THis likley means more attorney's fees, which she doesn't have (add this to my piling financials). What would you do? Admonish them again? Try to get the visitation revoked or only as supervised????? any thoughts on the best mommy thing to do?

And they're talking about strip clubs on Politics. MR, there must be a software issue. Or maybe it's with my login?

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by taxwonk
Not to mention all the habits/personality defects/idiosyncracies that you've managed to hide from the spouse all these years that you freely discuss with your imaginary friends.

Exactly. Worlds colliding, etc.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
I'm not exactly sur ehow the deal went down, but I know he hadn't made any of his child support payments in years and had left town to catch the "perfect wave" and she wanted him to give up rights so that her current husband could adopt and he said "OK, and um, can i get out of paying the piles of money I haven't paid" and she said "ok." He went on surfing without a care for years and only had mild interest in his child when he came into town to hit his parents up for money.

If your sister's ex could be trained as a Saab mechanic, I'm seeing a potential win-win-win-win here.

[patentparanyc]

What do you do when someone in the office's personal habits make you uncomfortable or set you on edge? Every day a person near me serially burps loudly over and over. EM must know that this is not normal behavior? Has anyone experienced this ever and what did they do in this instance? I don't know what to do. I currently pretend I don't hear it. I believe it is the soda. Too much soda is a bad thing.

I think it is a social skills thing lacking thing as em makes me kinda uncomfortable with em in general. Eavesdropping, butting in on conversations that em eavedropped on shamelessly, hovering, and a staring "issue" every time I look up is staring straight at me. eeeekkkkkkkk. I try to hide behind my monitor and one time, em craned em's head around to dissuade that.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by patentparanyc
there is a saying that Saab is Sob because you sob every time you take it in to be fixed....

I don't get it.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by patentparanyc
What do you do when someone in the office's personal habits make you uncomfortable or set you on edge? Every day a person near me serially burps loudly over and over. EM must know that this is not normal behavior? Has anyone experienced this ever and what did they do in this instance? I don't know what to do. I currently pretend I don't hear it. I believe it is the soda. Too much soda is a bad thing.

I think it is a social skills thing lacking thing as em makes me kinda uncomfortable with em in general. Eavesdropping, butting in on conversations that em eavedropped on shamelessly, hovering, and a staring "issue" every time I look up is staring straight at me. eeeekkkkkkkk. I try to hide behind my monitor and one time, em craned em's head around to dissuade that.

Start with not using "em". Then maybe I could stand to read this.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
It has to some degree changed my posting habits since Mr Man showed up. But I'm not sure which event changed them more - SO posting here or meeting some of you IRL. Both are somewhat inhibiting to free flow of information about my various deviancies.

so now I post about allergy medicine. and the only thing more boring to me than that post was the various "benedryl" replies. my god. what have I done?

I was (honestly) just going to mention that I bet this board was much more interesting before people got to know each other IRL. Trade-offs I suppose.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
My sister is remarried. She has a child from her first husband (a hot surfer who wasn't much of a dad). When she got remarried, her first husband gave up custody and parental rights in order to not pay child support. He had a bit of an alcohol and substance problem and would take the kid out in the car when high/drunk, so you can see why she would want to keep the kid away. I don't think he's any better now. Anyhow, his parents sued for grandparental visitation rights and my sister settled, in order to keep it from dragging on forever. They get the kid for certain periods of time and they are required to not mention their son (re: that he is the kid's father) nor allow their son to have contact with the kid. If he asks about their son for some reason, they are to direct him to my sister. They are not to give out any of my sister's contact info to the dead-beat son. Divorce was like 6 years ago. CHild is 8. Last contact my sister had with ex-husband was aobut 6 months ago. He called at 12:30 a.m. to ask if he could start to see the child again...obviously drunk. My sister chided the grandparents for giving out the contact info and they promised they only did it so that he could talk to her about regaining visitation. They promised to stay out of it and apologized. So, my sister got her kid back after a weedend with the grandparents and they had put the kid on the phone and let him talk to his dad and told him that this was his dad (and not my sister's current husband who adopted him). My sister's really upset. THis likley means more attorney's fees, which she doesn't have (add this to my piling financials). What would you do? Admonish them again? Try to get the visitation revoked or only as supervised????? any thoughts on the best mommy thing to do?

Jesus Christ, man. Don't you know a disguised booty call when you hear one? he wanted to fuck, but didn't want to say, "Come over." Your sister should have fucked him.

If he's not within booty-follow-through distance, then he's nuts and your sister should cut him off.