A frolic in Cambodia

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I don't really like compliments in general. I'm not very good at accepting them.

Me either. I've lost weight recently, and I'm getting better at simply saying "thank you" when people tell me that I'm looking good, but I still have issues with compliments.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
In a very Sesame Street way, I am into rhyming today and I will add that it is also fun to watch low-titted ones cry.

I have been there, and I can't say agree. But to each her own.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
eta that I don't give meaningless compliments - did not mean to imply that. I think we had this discussion before about telling people we love them. I tell people that I love that I love them frequently. I'm with rp that rarity doesn't add any value. I just don't understand how it would.

Same here. Though my father is stingy with the word "love" so we make a point of using it on him at all possible opportunites, because we love him but also because it sort of makes him squirm.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
eta that I don't give meaningless compliments - did not mean to imply that. I think we had this discussion before about telling people we love them. I tell people that I love that I love them frequently. I'm with rp that rarity doesn't add any value. I just don't understand how it would.

I don't understand how it doesn't.

If I tell you you're beautiful every hour, it wouldn't hold the same significance as if I rarely told you and just looked at you one day, maybe when you weren't feeling so beautiful, and just said, "You are so beautiful." I might actually be telling the truth when I say it every hour, but you would get used to it -- you might even start to expect it -- and no matter what you say, I believe it wouldn't mean as much.

I'm not advocating holding back compliments to give them meaning. But I do think giving a compliment every time you think something that can be taken as complimentary is overkill.

TM

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
But I do think giving a compliment every time you think something that can be taken as complimentary is overkill.

not in this crowd. hey, TM, great blow job post 2 years ago.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Oh, bullshit. If they are getting ready to go out on a Saturday night, and he thinks that she looks nice in her new dress or latex miniskirt or "Chick's Rule" t-shirt (and since he's her "um, friend," then I feel safe in assuming that he does), then he should say it. A lot. It doesn't become insincere because he says it more than once a millenium.

You know, I'm going to weigh in with Coltrane here. (I know!!)

My husband says "you're so [fill in random complimentary thing here]" as filler for lulls in conversation, and, to be honest, it sort of gets on my nerves. It's as though he can't think of anything else to say, so he'll just say "you're hot!", which, while lovely, when he says it LITERALLY in every single, solitary conversation, I kind of get sick of it.

OK, maybe I'm just weird.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss

I am just glad that I am very witty, very intelligent, very athletic, and very pretty.....when I am drunk.

You're a good dancer when I am drunk.

Really fucking drunk.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I don't understand how it doesn't.

If I tell you you're beautiful every hour, it wouldn't hold the same significance as if I rarely told you and just looked at you one day, maybe when you weren't feeling so beautiful, and just said, "You are so beautiful." I might actually be telling the truth when I say it every hour, but you would get used to it -- you might even start to expect it -- and no matter what you say, I believe it wouldn't mean as much.

I'm not advocating holding back compliments to give them meaning. But I do think giving a compliment every time you think something that can be taken as complimentary is overkill.

TM

If a man compliments me with some regularity, I tend to think that he really believes the compliments that he is giving me.

If a man only compliments me rarely, I tend to think that when he compliments me, it's because he thinks it's the appropriate time for a compliment.

In the above scenario, I wouldn't believe you when you finally got around to telling me, but would assume you were only telling me because I was having a bad day.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Actually, I could do that and not be a hypocrite. All that would be required to avoid hypocrisy would be that I be more attractive than the person on whom I was commenting.

Objectively speaking, of course. You know how objective people are about their own looks.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I don't understand how it doesn't.

If I tell you you're beautiful every hour, it wouldn't hold the same significance as if I rarely told you and just looked at you one day, maybe when you weren't feeling so beautiful, and just said, "You are so beautiful." I might actually be telling the truth when I say it every hour, but you would get used to it -- you might even start to expect it -- and no matter what you say, I believe it wouldn't mean as much.

I'm not advocating holding back compliments to give them meaning. But I do think giving a compliment every time you think something that can be taken as complimentary is overkill.

TM

You are focusing on the discrete "value" of each compliment. I'm thinking more about the value in the aggregate -- more appropriately, the benefit more generous praise does for your relationship over time.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
A moderately attractive, funny, nice chick is probably going to grab my attention and hold it a lot longer than a hot mean, dull chick.

This is a lie, and you know that we know that it is a lie, which makes it all the more disrespectful.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I see your point. My point, though, was that the overweight person could potentially benefit from criticism whereas a person with a slow or nonexistent wit doesn't really have a chance so why criticize? It's like being super proud that you can color between the lines better than a blind person can.

I can color better than deaf people too -- but those fuckers never listen.

TM

[SlaveNoMore]

ThurgreedMarshall
I don't understand how it doesn't.

If I tell you you're beautiful every hour, it wouldn't hold the same significance as if I rarely told you and just looked at you one day, maybe when you weren't feeling so beautiful, and just said, "You are so beautiful." I might actually be telling the truth when I say it every hour, but you would get used to it -- you might even start to expect it -- and no matter what you say, I believe it wouldn't mean as much.

I'm not advocating holding back compliments to give them meaning. But I do think giving a compliment every time you think something that can be taken as complimentary is overkill.

TM

Great post, TM.

[dtb]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Hey man -- I only rip on RUDE fats. Not all fats. Only rude ones or ones who breathe heavily while eating in my presence.

Which reminds me...

The other day I was in spin class (hi plf!) and the guy next to me (he wasn't a fat, nttawwt), but he was freakin' SINGING along to the music. God, how I wanted to stab him in the face.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
This is a lie, and you know that we know that it is a lie, which makes it all the more disrespectful.

and here I thought that he was talking about me. I took that "moderately attractive" and put it in the bank already.