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12-17-2004, 04:05 PM
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#1636
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Flyover land
Posts: 19,042
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Shaft(er)!
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Doesn't count. I was touched by the Spirit.
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I meant to tell you, I'm not really into you calling me the Spirit. While it makes me feel fabulously ephemeral, I know I just don't have that level of energy.
If you say it in Spanish, though, I probably won't understand a word of it. |
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12-17-2004, 04:06 PM
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#1637
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Proud Holder-Post 200,000
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Corner Office
Posts: 86,129
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Apprentice Spoilers
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I don't really have a script, though if you need a step-by-step to start out I'm sure we (the creative power of this board) could come up with one for you. It usually starts off with "what are you wearing/what are you doing/where are you" and then creativity sort of takes over. You sort of have to listen to the other person and figure out through their reactions if what you're saying turns them on.
Having had real sex with the person helps, but isn't a prerequisite if you're suitably creative. (This may be a stretch for some people.) Having a sexy voice helps considerably. I've been known to, er, accentuate certain aspects of my accent when I find that they turn someone on. Most of the time one person is the giver and the other's the receiver, because it's sort of hard to concentrate on your orgasm and the other person's orgasm at the same time without their actually being there. Being turned on by someone else's being turned on is a significant advantage in that regard. It's also helpful if that person is loud. Silence kills phone sex (though it is not unusual for someone to drop the phone), because you have no idea if what you're saying is working or if you're sounding like a complete idiot. Intonation is also key. You have to sound like you're into it too, or else it doesn't work. Simply reading from the script (if you need a script) will get you nowhere, though in LDRs, sometimes you have to fake it (this is the one area where guys and girls are on equal footing on the faking issue) in phone sex too.
Always thank the other person after you've come.
As with other sex, I've never paid for phone sex, so I don't know how that works, though I've talked with several phone sex operators who make their jobs sound very amusing/interesting.
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You sound like you're hard-working and intelligent.
__________________
I will not suffer a fool- but I do seem to read a lot of their posts
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12-17-2004, 04:07 PM
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#1638
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Fast left eighty slippy
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,236
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Apprentice Spoilers
Quote:
Originally posted by spookyfish
FWIW, I think you're more annoying when your avatar has a penis.
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Careful, you've got to be very careful about talking about different standards for men and women around here. |
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12-17-2004, 04:08 PM
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#1639
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No title
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Here
Posts: 8,092
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Apprentice Spoilers
Quote:
Originally posted by mmm3587
Oh, come on. I'm joking around. I know everyone's piling on and I'm egging it on, but now I can't make stupid jokes without getting jumped on?
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Enh. Join the club.
__________________
Ritchie Incognito is a shitbag.
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12-17-2004, 04:08 PM
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#1640
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Flyover land
Posts: 19,042
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Apprentice Spoilers
Quote:
Originally posted by mmm3587
Careful, you've got to be very careful about talking about different standards for men and women around here.
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Anyone you use as an avatar, I immediately assume must be incredibly annoying in real life.
Penised or unpenised. |
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12-17-2004, 04:08 PM
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#1641
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Random Syndicate (admin)
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Romantically enfranchised
Posts: 14,276
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Apprentice Spoilers
Quote:
Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
You sound like you're hard-working and intelligent.
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Yet haggard and frumpy.
__________________
"In the olden days before the internet, you'd take this sort of person for a ride out into the woods and shoot them, as Darwin intended, before he could spawn."--Will the Vampire People Leave the Lobby? pg 79
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12-17-2004, 04:09 PM
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#1642
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World Ruler
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 12,057
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Apprentice Spoilers
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
Enh. Join the club.
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nfh is not alone. ANOTHER FESTIVUS MIRACLE!
__________________
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
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12-17-2004, 04:14 PM
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#1643
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Fast left eighty slippy
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,236
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Apprentice Spoilers
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
Enh. Join the club.
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Is this like when you get picked last and don't realize how bad you are until you look at the other last guy? Yikes... |
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12-17-2004, 04:15 PM
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#1644
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Steaming Hot
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Giving a three hour blowjob
Posts: 8,220
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free blowjob
to the first person who shows up in my office and gives me a shoulder massage. I am so sore it's just not funny.
(if you are a woman, we'll work out something of equivalent value)
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12-17-2004, 04:16 PM
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#1645
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No title
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Here
Posts: 8,092
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Apprentice Spoilers
Quote:
Originally posted by mmm3587
Is this like when you get picked last and don't realize how bad you are until you look at the other last guy? Yikes...
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Well you know how it goes. Some of us can't even say that Enrique Inglesias is overhyped without the backlash.
__________________
Ritchie Incognito is a shitbag.
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12-17-2004, 04:20 PM
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#1646
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World Ruler
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 12,057
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free blowjob
Quote:
Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
to the first person who shows up in my office and gives me a shoulder massage. I am so sore it's just not funny.
(if you are a woman, we'll work out something of equivalent value)
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This is so unfair.
__________________
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
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12-17-2004, 04:21 PM
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#1647
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No title
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Here
Posts: 8,092
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free blowjob
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
This is so unfair.
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Why? Because she charged you last time?
__________________
Ritchie Incognito is a shitbag.
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12-17-2004, 04:25 PM
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#1648
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World Ruler
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 12,057
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free blowjob
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
Why? Because she charged you last time?
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Because the one time gwink offers the shoulder rub/blow job exchange, I have carpal tunnel from scrolling through all mmmmm's posts. It's money time, and I'm unable to perform.
__________________
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
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12-17-2004, 04:26 PM
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#1649
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halfsharkalligatorhalfmod
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Ryugyong Hotel
Posts: 3,218
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Apprentice Spoilers
Quote:
Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Yet haggard and frumpy.
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Never.
__________________
---
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12-17-2004, 04:32 PM
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#1650
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No title
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Here
Posts: 8,092
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free blowjob
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Because the one time gwink offers the shoulder rub/blow job exchange, I have carpal tunnel from scrolling through all mmmmm's posts. It's money time, and I'm unable to perform.
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So I take it that this afternoon's "phone call" will have to be rescheduled?
eta that I'm not the least bit scared of your girlfriend. Even though she's much bigger than I am.
__________________
Ritchie Incognito is a shitbag.
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