Missing the Paigow (et al.) [sniff]

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by ironweed
One for every apostle but Judas. Good man. And people say the spiritual aspect of the season is being neglected.

Apostles are to drink to at Easter. At Christmas it's the wisemen, and there are only three. Maybe you can drink 40s.
Shape Shifter also includes some barn animals in his celebration, but not involved with drinking.

[Watchtower]

Originally posted by ironweed
One for every apostle but Judas. Good man. And people say the spiritual aspect of the season is being neglected.

Can you drink one for Mary, too, and why leave out the Good Lord?

Merry Christmas everyone.

Originally posted by LessinSF
Actually, it was a P.F. Chang's at the mall buying Christmas gifts, and researching world cellular plans.

On a related note, I have learned that I can start withdrawing my IRAs (and rolled over 401(k)'s) even at age 39 with no lump taxation or penalties under what is called a 72(t) SEPP distribution. See http://www.retireearlyhomepage.com/wdraw59.html . Psyche!

I thought the entirety of your nest egg was in a highly liquid Plated's Picks account??? I have total freedom to dip into my Big Jar of Retirement Change at any time, tax free.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Apostles are to drink to at Easter. At Christmas it's the wisemen, and there are only three. Maybe you can drink 40s.
Shape Shifter also includes some barn animals in his celebration, but not involved with drinking.

Only the hot ones.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Apostles are to drink to at Easter. At Christmas it's the wisemen, and there are only three.

I took three Advil about 5 minutes ago. For the Wise Men.

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Apostles are to drink to at Easter. At Christmas it's the wisemen, and there are only three. Maybe you can drink 40s.
Shape Shifter also includes some barn animals in his celebration, but not involved with drinking.

I thought Thurgreed established that we are all free to celebrate in the manner we see fit, without having other people's assumptions and prejudices thrust upon us. Not so?

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I took three Advil about 5 minutes ago. For the Wise Men.

When are you going to get you some Chaser? Don't ignore the pretty lady's advice.

[Alex_de_Large]

Well, this is what the Minnesota Vikings did, anyway.

The Full Report On The Sex Boat

So, hey, anybody else actually dug into these whole Vikings criminal complaints, the ones The Smoking Gun grabbed? If you haven’t yet, we suggest you do, because it’s even more entertaining than you thought. But, we understand, you’re very busy at work today. So allow us to help you out. We’ve dug through, and here’s the highlights, on each player. And it’s all written in legalese, which somehow makes it funnier.

Fred Smoot: Was seen holding a double-headed dildo and moving the dildo while each end was inserted into the vagina of two women who were lying on the floor near the lounge area of the charter boat. After a period of time, one of the women got up and Mr. Smoot continued to manipulate the dildo inside the other woman.

Daunte Culpepper: Got a “lap dance” from an unidentified, naked female. During this “lap dance,” Mr. Culpepper placed his hands on the naked buttocks of the female dancer.

Moe Williams: [Williams is witnessed] in the area by the downstairs bathrooms receiving a “lap dance,” which involved the “dancer” dancing bare-breasted and Mr. Williams with his hands on and touching the breasts of his female partner.

Bryant McKinnie: [McKinnie is witnessed] pick up a naked woman, place her on the bar in the lounge and commence to perform oral sex on her. … At a different time during the evening, [witnesses] saw Mr. McKinnie along with three other unidentified males receiving oral sex from four women while the men were seated in deck chairs on the boat.

So now you know. Some conversation topics for all your holiday parties this weekend.

source: Deadspin.com

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Well, this is what the Minnesota Vikings did, anyway.

The Full Report On The Sex Boat

So, hey, anybody else actually dug into these whole Vikings criminal complaints, the ones The Smoking Gun grabbed? If you haven’t yet, we suggest you do, because it’s even more entertaining than you thought. But, we understand, you’re very busy at work today. So allow us to help you out. We’ve dug through, and here’s the highlights, on each player. And it’s all written in legalese, which somehow makes it funnier.

Fred Smoot: Was seen holding a double-headed dildo and moving the dildo while each end was inserted into the vagina of two women who were lying on the floor near the lounge area of the charter boat. After a period of time, one of the women got up and Mr. Smoot continued to manipulate the dildo inside the other woman.

Daunte Culpepper: Got a “lap dance” from an unidentified, naked female. During this “lap dance,” Mr. Culpepper placed his hands on the naked buttocks of the female dancer.

Moe Williams: [Williams is witnessed] in the area by the downstairs bathrooms receiving a “lap dance,” which involved the “dancer” dancing bare-breasted and Mr. Williams with his hands on and touching the breasts of his female partner.

Bryant McKinnie: [McKinnie is witnessed] pick up a naked woman, place her on the bar in the lounge and commence to perform oral sex on her. … At a different time during the evening, [witnesses] saw Mr. McKinnie along with three other unidentified males receiving oral sex from four women while the men were seated in deck chairs on the boat.

So now you know. Some conversation topics for all your holiday parties this weekend.

source: Deadspin.com

Like the two women entertained by Mr. Smoot, Culpepper is getting the shaft. If you can't rest your hand on the ass of a stripper giving you a lap dance on a private sex boat, what CAN you do? I blame bilmore.

ABBA, how was the boat?

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
When are you going to get you some Chaser? Don't ignore the pretty lady's advice.

Chaser is used when you plan to get drunk. My plan was to have two or three beers and go home. That, of course, didn't happen.


It's tough to just have two or three beers and go home.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Sunny's Snot Rocket
Consider it done.

Mixing the hot sauce into the water before pouring it through the sinuses is recommended. For Atticus.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Shape Shifter also includes some barn animals in his celebration, but not involved with drinking.

That's because he knows they talk on Christmas Eve, and we can all learn from Nature's wisdom. He sits with them out in the barn, and listens.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Well, this is what the Minnesota Vikings did, anyway.

The Full Report On The Sex Boat

So, hey, anybody else actually dug into these whole Vikings criminal complaints, the ones The Smoking Gun grabbed? If you haven’t yet, we suggest you do, because it’s even more entertaining than you thought. But, we understand, you’re very busy at work today. So allow us to help you out. We’ve dug through, and here’s the highlights, on each player. And it’s all written in legalese, which somehow makes it funnier.

Fred Smoot: Was seen holding a double-headed dildo and moving the dildo while each end was inserted into the vagina of two women who were lying on the floor near the lounge area of the charter boat. After a period of time, one of the women got up and Mr. Smoot continued to manipulate the dildo inside the other woman.

Daunte Culpepper: Got a “lap dance” from an unidentified, naked female. During this “lap dance,” Mr. Culpepper placed his hands on the naked buttocks of the female dancer.

Moe Williams: [Williams is witnessed] in the area by the downstairs bathrooms receiving a “lap dance,” which involved the “dancer” dancing bare-breasted and Mr. Williams with his hands on and touching the breasts of his female partner.

Bryant McKinnie: [McKinnie is witnessed] pick up a naked woman, place her on the bar in the lounge and commence to perform oral sex on her. … At a different time during the evening, [witnesses] saw Mr. McKinnie along with three other unidentified males receiving oral sex from four women while the men were seated in deck chairs on the boat.

So now you know. Some conversation topics for all your holiday parties this weekend.

source: Deadspin.com

I have never used the double-headed dildo before, but I've been present when a friend (not the same friend) has done the following to strippers/entertainers:

(1) held the double-headed dildo in his mouth while the two strippers/entertainers simultaneously pleasured themselves with it.

(2) performed analingus on one of the strippers/entertainers* (with whipped cream).

(3) inserted the "drilldo" into a stripper/entertainer.

(4) strapped on a dildo (over his clothes) that was well over a foot long and about as thick as my arm and screw the stripper/entertainer**.


*the hot one
**the ugly one

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I have never used the double-headed dildo before, but I've been present when a friend (not the same friend) has done the following to strippers/entertainers:

(1) held the double-headed dildo in his mouth while the two strippers/entertainers simultaneously pleasured themselves with it.

(2) performed analingus on one of the strippers/entertainers* (with whipped cream).

(3) inserted the "drilldo" into a stripper/entertainer.

(4) strapped on a dildo (over his clothes) that was well over a foot long and about as thick as my arm and screw the stripper/entertainer**.


*the hot one
**the ugly one

Why is there no footnoted supplemental information for point 3?

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Why is there no footnoted supplemental information for point 3?

Well, if you don't know what a "drilldo" is, I don't know what to tell you.