It was the wrong thread

[SubPrime-Time]

I keep hearing rumors of some firms going up to $190K soon. Anyone know any real dirt?

[Tyrone Slothrop]

This would suck.

[SlaveNoMore]

SubPrime-Time
I keep hearing rumors of some firms going up to $190K soon. Anyone know any real dirt?

Doggin Lewis may announce soon.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
This would suck.

they made a movie about a drunk guy named Hank Chinaski. it was really hard to straighten out which is which.

[SubPrime-Time]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Doggin Lewis may announce soon.

Wow. Doggin Lewis was such a lame joke three years ago! Let's bring it back! Whoo hoo hoo!

Just in case some dimwhit takes you serioulsy, as a public service, for this board's info, Doggin Lewis is a fictional law firm located in the second tier dump known as Beantown, that assjack third-tier Beantown associates from Suffolk and NESoL post about on associate boards from here to jdjive.com to get a rise out of gullible junior associates from equally low tiered law schools. It's the same as the myth of Cumberland Law School, the greedy associates most famous fictional law school that people post about just to get a rise out of low brow law school students. Neither DL nor CLS exists. Both were old jokes in 2001 when I was a 1L, but please keep them coming. I am really looking forward to a resurrection of the vintage early 1990s dead baby jokes to help us laugh and laugh and laugh.

Jeebers, usually this tripe only rears up when pay news is dull but considering the implications of the recent months plus $190K rumors, now is not the time for this foolishness.


In short, lame.

Anyone have real dirt?

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by SubPrime-Time
Wow. Doggin Lewis was such a lame joke three years ago! Let's bring it back! Whoo hoo hoo!

Just in case some dimwhit takes you serioulsy, as a public service, for this board's info, Doggin Lewis is a fictional law firm located in the second tier dump known as Beantown, that assjack third-tier Beantown associates from Suffolk and NESoL post about on associate boards from here to jdjive.com to get a rise out of gullible junior associates from equally low tiered law schools. It's the same as the myth of Cumberland Law School, the greedy associates most famous fictional law school that people post about just to get a rise out of low brow law school students. Neither DL nor CLS exists. Both were old jokes in 2001 when I was a 1L, but please keep them coming. I am really looking forward to a resurrection of the vintage early 1990s dead baby jokes to help us laugh and laugh and laugh.

Jeebers, usually this tripe only rears up when pay news is dull but considering the implications of the recent months plus $190K rumors, now is not the time for this foolishness.


In short, lame.

Anyone have real dirt?

Do you like "Momma" jokes? Just curious.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by SubPrime-Time
Wow. Doggin Lewis was such a lame joke three years ago! Let's bring it back! Whoo hoo hoo!

Just in case some dimwhit takes you serioulsy, as a public service, for this board's info, Doggin Lewis is a fictional law firm located in the second tier dump known as Beantown, that assjack third-tier Beantown associates from Suffolk and NESoL post about on associate boards from here to jdjive.com to get a rise out of gullible junior associates from equally low tiered law schools. It's the same as the myth of Cumberland Law School, the greedy associates most famous fictional law school that people post about just to get a rise out of low brow law school students. Neither DL nor CLS exists. Both were old jokes in 2001 when I was a 1L, but please keep them coming. I am really looking forward to a resurrection of the vintage early 1990s dead baby jokes to help us laugh and laugh and laugh.

Jeebers, usually this tripe only rears up when pay news is dull but considering the implications of the recent months plus $190K rumors, now is not the time for this foolishness.


In short, lame.

Anyone have real dirt?

Q: what do you call a person with no arms and no legs who falls out of a 9th story window?

A: Mark.

[Cletus Miller]

Originally posted by SubPrime-Time
the vintage early 1990s dead baby jokes

Huh. My junior high school in a small midwestern city must have been on the cutting edge of dead baby jokes, as they were very popular there in the early '80s.

[SlaveNoMore]

Originally posted by SubPrime-Time
Wow. Doggin Lewis was such a lame joke three years ago! Let's bring it back! Whoo hoo hoo!

Just in case some dimwhit takes you serioulsy, as a public service, for this board's info, Doggin Lewis is a fictional law firm located in the second tier dump known as Beantown, that assjack third-tier Beantown associates from Suffolk and NESoL post about on associate boards from here to jdjive.com to get a rise out of gullible junior associates from equally low tiered law schools. It's the same as the myth of Cumberland Law School, the greedy associates most famous fictional law school that people post about just to get a rise out of low brow law school students. Neither DL nor CLS exists. Both were old jokes in 2001 when I was a 1L, but please keep them coming. I am really looking forward to a resurrection of the vintage early 1990s dead baby jokes to help us laugh and laugh and laugh.

Jeebers, usually this tripe only rears up when pay news is dull but considering the implications of the recent months plus $190K rumors, now is not the time for this foolishness.


In short, lame.

Anyone have real dirt?

Wilson Sonsini will announce their 1Q Bonii on or about April 10th.

[SubPrime-Time]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Wilson Sonsini will announce their 1Q Bonii on or about April 10th.

Just call them bonuses. Not boni, not bonii, and most certainly not boniis.

Bonuses. It's English. Anything more or less reveals your retarded desire to look more intelligent than you are. Of course, your intelligence is imminently displayed by your rehashing of a very old joke that was never funny to begin with. I guess that makes you both smart and funny. NOT. As a point of fact, you might be the biggest moron to ever post on an associate board and anyone who has read judged.com or jdjive.com would agree that that's saying a lot. Anyone who knows anything about associate compensation knows that, except for a brief anomalous period, NYCBIGlaw sets the compensation standard, so when I ask about salaries going to $190K for first years, it assumes that we are talking about the first tier firms in NYC. As such, staying demographically focused, quarterly bonUSES do not exist in NYC, at least not at any “first tier firms" like Sullivan, Cravath, Cleary, DPW, Wachtell, etc. Firms like WSGR may pay out quarterly bonUSES in Cali, but they also downsized their associate pools by scores of associates in the last five years, had payout plans to encourage first-years to leave and created unreachable hour targets to get bonuses of any kind. Further, to the extent that such bonuses exist at these second tier and lower shops, the word is that they are increments that are laughably small. Like your dick. So small that even the top California firms feel no need to match, and they are no match for NYC to start.

Finally, and take this in the sense of constructive criticism, maybe if had you not spent so much time over those last few years web surfing and reading sites like this, maybe your sadsack ass wouldn't be being desparately looking to dredge up stale unfunny old jokes and would actually be at a place going to $190K, so you could offer us some real info. My suggestion for you is go get your shinebox you mutt.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by SubPrime-Time
Just call them bonuses. Not boni, not bonii, and most certainly not boniis.

Bonuses. It's English. Anything more or less reveals your retarded desire to look more intelligent than you are. Of course, your intelligence is imminently displayed by your rehashing of a very old joke that was never funny to begin with. I guess that makes you both smart and funny. NOT. As a point of fact, you might be the biggest moron to ever post on an associate board and anyone who has read judged.com or jdjive.com would agree that that's saying a lot. Anyone who knows anything about associate compensation knows that, except for a brief anomalous period, NYCBIGlaw sets the compensation standard, so when I ask about salaries going to $190K for first years, it assumes that we are talking about the first tier firms in NYC. As such, staying demographically focused, quarterly bonUSES do not exist in NYC, at least not at any “first tier firms" like Sullivan, Cravath, Cleary, DPW, Wachtell, etc. Firms like WSGR may pay out quarterly bonUSES in Cali, but they also downsized their associate pools by scores of associates in the last five years, had payout plans to encourage first-years to leave and created unreachable hour targets to get bonuses of any kind. Further, to the extent that such bonuses exist at these second tier and lower shops, the word is that they are increments that are laughably small. Like your dick. So small that even the top California firms feel no need to match, and they are no match for NYC to start.

Finally, and take this in the sense of constructive criticism, maybe if had you not spent so much time over those last few years web surfing and reading sites like this, maybe your sadsack ass wouldn't be being desparately looking to dredge up stale unfunny old jokes and would actually be at a place going to $190K, so you could offer us some real info. My suggestion for you is go get your shinebox you mutt.

1. My contact at WSGR got a bonus of $35K. Not really peanuts, Sparky.

2. Just to be clear, you're talking about what people who live there refer to as "New York," right? Not, say, Albany? Where do you live?

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by taxwonk
1. My contact at WSGR got a bonus of $35K. Not really peanuts, Sparky.

2. Just to be clear, you're talking about what people who live there refer to as "New York," right? Not, say, Albany? Where do you live?

It breaks my heart to know that I missed out on the opportunity to be around such wisdom and grace. If only my parents weren't upstaters! I coulda BEEN somebody!

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by SubPrime-Time
Just call them bonuses. Not boni, not bonii, and most certainly not boniis.

Bonuses. It's English. Anything more or less reveals your retarded desire to look more intelligent than you are. Of course, your intelligence is imminently displayed by your rehashing of a very old joke that was never funny to begin with. I guess that makes you both smart and funny. NOT. As a point of fact, you might be the biggest moron to ever post on an associate board and anyone who has read judged.com or jdjive.com would agree that that's saying a lot. Anyone who knows anything about associate compensation knows that, except for a brief anomalous period, NYCBIGlaw sets the compensation standard, so when I ask about salaries going to $190K for first years, it assumes that we are talking about the first tier firms in NYC. As such, staying demographically focused, quarterly bonUSES do not exist in NYC, at least not at any “first tier firms" like Sullivan, Cravath, Cleary, DPW, Wachtell, etc. Firms like WSGR may pay out quarterly bonUSES in Cali, but they also downsized their associate pools by scores of associates in the last five years, had payout plans to encourage first-years to leave and created unreachable hour targets to get bonuses of any kind. Further, to the extent that such bonuses exist at these second tier and lower shops, the word is that they are increments that are laughably small. Like your dick. So small that even the top California firms feel no need to match, and they are no match for NYC to start.

Finally, and take this in the sense of constructive criticism, maybe if had you not spent so much time over those last few years web surfing and reading sites like this, maybe your sadsack ass wouldn't be being desparately looking to dredge up stale unfunny old jokes and would actually be at a place going to $190K, so you could offer us some real info. My suggestion for you is go get your shinebox you mutt.

Today a partner choose someone else to work with on a file. I Get in at 8:45 today! He comes in at 10:00! I can't believe he picked him!

The bastard. Most of the "mistakes" in the last file he gave were really his fault, cuz he didn't explain stuff very much. The client said it wasn't going to sue, and just wanted to take its file, so no harm.

I thought for sure he knew that it was his fault, and I'd get the new file. I studied up on the client on the internet and everything. Then he gives the file to that other guy. I'm 3rd year, he's only 2nd! NWTF?

I'm not in NYC, but for sure would like some NYC advice.

[SubPrime-Time]

Originally posted by taxwonk
1. My contact at WSGR got a bonus of $35K. Not really peanuts, Sparky.

2. Just to be clear, you're talking about what people who live there refer to as "New York," right? Not, say, Albany? Where do you live?

1. Quarterly or annual, Champ? Somehow I doubt quarterly, which was the subject of the prior moron's post, if for no other reason than we are not at the end of a quarter. If it's annual, call one of your pals in NYC, as you are obviously not from there, and ask them to fax you the median bonus stats for NY Firms for 2006, and get back to us as to what it is peanuts and what's REAL $$$$.

2. I apologize to SlaveNoMore, he is not the biggest moron to post on these boards, you are, by sole virtue of raising the name of an 8th tier podunkhellhole like Albany in a discussion of top end salaries and bonuses. Kudos, Champ, and I suggest practicing up on the phrase "do you want to supersize it?". It will help your bonii, ha ha ha, potential in your next job.

[SubPrime-Time]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Today a partner choose someone else to work with on a file. I Get in at 8:45 today! He comes in at 10:00! I can't believe he picked him!

The bastard. Most of the "mistakes" in the last file he gave were really his fault, cuz he didn't explain stuff very much. The client said it wasn't going to sue, and just wanted to take its file, so no harm.

I thought for sure he knew that it was his fault, and I'd get the new file. I studied up on the client on the internet and everything. Then he gives the file to that other guy. I'm 3rd year, he's only 2nd! NWTF?

I'm not in NYC, but for sure would like some NYC advice.

This gave me a headache. I don't know what you are trying to say here, other than point out you and your fellow associate are both losers destined to hit the associate scrapheap long before your firm entertains up and outting you, but hey, cheer up, there's always room for another trial lawyer down at traffic court.