Fringey's taut-abbed painter

[Alex_de_Large]

Out for at LEAST 5 weeks, with a fractured fibula and an ankle problem.

Link.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by baltassoc
Assuming your dad is not in shape but not terribly fat, I'd go with perhaps a couple of pairs of shorts made out of sweet pants material that are fairly long and loose, and a pair of sweet pants. Something like this:

Land's End Jersey Knit Shorts

and

Land's End Jersey Knit Pants

These are comfortable to work out in, without being too revealing. The jersey knit hangs better than nylon on less-than-perfect bodies.

It's probably too late to order mail order, but you can get something similar at any sporting goods store.

As for shirts, working out in a random t-shirt seems to be de riguer for men.

Please no, no no no jersey knit for pops. Coltrane is right -- buy him anything made of a wicking or hi-tech fabric. The stuff tends to be more comfortable, flattering, and functional than cotton, and washes and dries more easily. Those jersey knit pants are an abomination.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by baltassoc
I'd go with perhaps a couple of pairs of shorts made out of sweet pants material that are fairly long and loose, and a pair of sweet pants.

You and slave shop at the same stores, don't you?

TM

[Seasonal Sock]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Is your dad a fat? A rude fat?

Only fat in the midsection. All limbs are skinny and weak. He is VERY rude though. Mom is hoping workouts will tame the edge. (We've got the Canadian pharmaceuticals covered too, thx). BTW he is late 50's. If I don't get him proper clothes, he will go to the gym with the torn, ugly, Hanes v-neck undershirts he wears under his custom made shirts to the office, a pair of terry cloth shorts from the 70's and his gold toe reinforced socks and work shoes. I beg you all -- please help save our family name.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Coltrane is right

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Coltrane is right

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Coltrane is right

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Coltrane is right

ANOTHER FESTIVUS MIRACLE!!!

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Seasonal Sock
Mom's XMas gift to Dad: surprise membership to a gym (she doesn't know which yet) that won't be too fashionable a place. I have been instructed to buy Dad "workout clothes" to wear there (and for when the personal trainer comes to their house) but not sneakers. Socks -- easy -- but what else? Anything lycra or yoga pantish (NTTAWWT) is just wrong and I can't go there. Specific examples of what to get? Sweats? "Running shorts" even though he doesn't run? He'll be doing weight training and I guess Nautilus type equipment/stairmaster. Thx.

You need intel on what he has. At a miniumum, he'll need a top, shorts or pants and socks to work out in. Head over to Oshmans or Academy or the local equivilent (maybe even REI would work) and buy a pair of workout shorts and a tee shirt with wicking material. Talk to the harried guy who's manning the department, explain that you're looking for generic workout clothes and he'll send you to the correct rack. You'd be a very nice child if you gave him some shirts with CoolMax or the equivalent material to keep him dry.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Out for at LEAST 5 weeks, with a fractured fibula and an ankle problem.

Link.

I bet that's the last time a head coach makes the kind of bet he made with Owens. Season over at 14 TDs. That's just weird.

TM

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
ANOTHER FESTIVUS MIRACLE!!!

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by Seasonal Sock
Only fat in the midsection. All limbs are skinny and weak. He is VERY rude though.

I bet he is green in color. Hangs out near Whoville.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Please no, no no no jersey knit for pops. Coltrane is right -- buy him anything made of a wicking or hi-tech fabric. The stuff tends to be more comfortable, flattering, and functional than cotton, and washes and dries more easily. Those jersey knit pants are an abomination.

I'm just reporting what the older gentlemen at my gym seem to wear. Nothing wrong with a coolmax shirt, but cotton has a certain -- traditional-ness to it.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
At a miniumum, he'll need a top, shorts or pants and socks to work out in.

I cannot emphasize enough, however, that ONE WORKOUT PER WASHING. I HATE smelling people while at the gym. Some people always wear the same thing and that is just gross. Wash your workout wear. I bet I have 20 separate workout outfits.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
You need intel on what he has. At a miniumum, he'll need a top, shorts or pants and socks to work out in. Head over to Oshmans or Academy or the local equivilent (maybe even REI would work) and buy a pair of workout shorts and a tee shirt with wicking material. Talk to the harried guy who's manning the department, explain that you're looking for generic workout clothes and he'll send you to the correct rack. You'd be a very nice child if you gave him some shirts with CoolMax or the equivalent material to keep him dry.

The Dad isn't going to want to wear upscale things if he's wearing torn t-shirts to work. Buy him a half dozen T-shirts with random sports/college names. Basic cotton shorts are fine. Don't buy things to pretty him up because he won't wear them.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
The Dad isn't going to want to wear upscale things if he's wearing torn t-shirts to work. Buy him a half dozen T-shirts with random sports/college names. Basic cotton shorts are fine. Don't buy things to pretty him up because he won't wear them.

Damn, Hank. For once we agree on something. I love you, man [sniff].

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by baltassoc
I'm just reporting what the older gentlemen at my gym seem to wear. Nothing wrong with a coolmax shirt, but cotton has a certain -- traditional-ness to it.

Yes, a certain traditional sloppy odor-retaining unflatteringness to it. He doesn't want to walk into the gym and feel like every blob with an AARP discount. Cotton has gone the way of the mojito.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Please no, no no no jersey knit for pops. Coltrane is right -- buy him anything made of a wicking or hi-tech fabric. The stuff tends to be more comfortable, flattering, and functional than cotton, and washes and dries more easily. Those jersey knit pants are an abomination.

As an old guy whose daughter (hi, honey!) is apparently in a conspiracy with her mother to cause the heart attack sooner rather than later, I say that you should have him consult with a T&E lawyer so that he leaves you NOTHING when he collapses on an elliptical trainer (or a dominatrix) sometime in January.

Kidding. I'd say that you should make sure that he has at least one or two pairs of shorts made after 1998 (watch an old basketball game on ESPN Classic to see the potential problem) and several T-shirts. Random local sports teams are the safest -- for some reason, I get strange looks whenever I wear my "Shut Up And Kiss Me," "Fuck Art: Let's Dance," and "Mrs. Pitt" T-shirts to the local Gold's.

As for fabrics, I leave that to the resident know-it-al...uh, atheletes. But unlike them, I'd say the primary concern is making sure that he doesn't feel like a doofus. A clingy, sweaty shirt is a small price (for him, anyway) to pay to avoid looking like a high-tech nerd in front of the others in the gym. And he won't go if he thinks that the $50 wick-y shorts look stupid.