Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones!

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
The worst is the person who talks about how many organizations they’re in and how much charity they perform. “I’m in the Junior League, the Masons and the Freemasons. I’m head of the PTA, I organize canned food drives and my family and I are serious outdoor enthusiasts. Last year, I took two terminally ill crippled children rafting through the Grand Canyon. Did I mention my Peace Corps work in Somalia.”

I’m thinking “You. Are. So. Nixed.”

I always say my interests include severe procrastination characterized by long bouts of mindless internet surfing, punctuated by the occasional short burst of self-flagellation, which is then followed by an ensuing frenzy of relatively focused work activity that results in a heady session of self-congratulation.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I'm too cheap to do color copies. Plus someone might ask me about like fancy cake-baking or something, and I'd be up shit creek.

Give them a Spiccoli: “Duuuude, you know... ‘Baaaakinggg???’ Uh, huh... Uh, huh...”

They make it unpossible to email or speak to a live person about dmaged goods, and then just run up your card. Bullshit. Where else can I order music from that has decent custoemr service.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
The worst is the person who talks about how many organizations they’re in and how much charity they perform. “I’m in the Junior League, the Masons and the Freemasons. I’m head of the PTA, I organize canned food drives and my family and I are serious outdoor enthusiasts. Last year, I took two terminally ill crippled children rafting through the Grand Canyon. Did I mention my Peace Corps work in Somalia.”

I’m thinking “You. Are. So. Nixed.”

Hmm. I'd be nixed by you. The only other stuff on my resume aside from the job and education stuff are the arts organizations I'm involved with.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
The latter. I give to charity, and I do it anonymously. Talking about that shit and putting it on your resume means you're using it for mileage, which means its not really charity - its a business expense. Chucking that shit at me to impress me about how good a person you are is wasted breath and will sink you. I may have reading comp issues, but I can spot an asshole pretty quick.

Besides, what's really involved in organizing a canned food drive beyond putting out a big box and a sign and then tossing in the black olives and cherry preserves you know you're never going to eat?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I always say my interests include severe procrastination, characterized by long bouts of mindless internet surfing, punctuated by the occasional short burst of self-flagellation, which is then followed by an ensuing frenzy of relatively focused work activity that results in a heady session of self-congratulation.

"I really work well under pressure, which I'm always under, because I don't do anything until the last minute. People call me a 'sprinter.'"

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
"I really work well under pressure, which I'm always under, because I don't do anything until the last minute. People call me a 'sprinter.'"

"And the only reason I put things off is that I am a perfectionist. I put too much pressure on myself, and I am my own harshest critic."

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Hmm. I'd be nixed by you. The only other stuff on my resume aside from the job and education stuff are the arts organizations I'm involved with.

Yez, but do you offer them like a list of medals of honor? The devil is in the delivery.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
They make it unpossible to email or speak to a live person about dmaged goods, and then just run up your card. Bullshit. Where else can I order music from that has decent custoemr service.

Call 1-800-201-7575. It's Amazon's hidden customer service number. Thanks go to Slate for publishing it and to Slate writer Tim Noah for digging it out for us.

Be sure to use the LawTalker's link when you buy, etc.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Be sure to use the LawTalker's link.

Not Bob, it's a complaint call. And consider the complainer.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
"And the only reason I put things off is that I am a perfectionist. I put too much pressure on myself, and I am my own harshest critic."

Fuck, thats the classic. I actually used that way back in the day.

I modified it over the years into "I can't say no to project and take on too much sometimes."*

*This is actually true, but I can't offer the reason - "I take on too much because most of its boring and I want to read or argue something interesting, so I fuck the dog on a lot of drudgework."

Originally posted by Not Bob
Call 1-800-201-7575. It's Amazon's hidden customer service number. Thanks go to Slate for publishing it and to Slate writer Tim Noah for digging it out for us.

Be sure to use the LawTalker's link when you buy, etc.

I am trying to get my money back.

Oh, and you cannot hit zero to skip the bullshit. Never ordering from them again.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Yez, but do you offer them like a list of medals of honor? The devil is in the delivery.

Hmm. The list is mostly about the party committees I'm on. I don't do it to show I'm a do-gooder. I do it to show I have a hell of a lot of social contacts out there that could be used For The Good of the Firm. And that I'm a fun person.

[barely_legal]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
The worst is the person who talks about how many organizations they’re in and how much charity they perform. “I’m in the Junior League, the Masons and the Freemasons. I’m head of the PTA, I organize canned food drives and my family and I are serious outdoor enthusiasts. Last year, I took two terminally ill crippled children rafting through the Grand Canyon. Did I mention my Peace Corps work in Somalia.”

I’m thinking “You. Are. So. Nixed.”

I gave a glowing recommendation last week to a recruit who, when asked what she liked to do when not studying, admitted that she watched a lot of television, especially reality tv. Then she admitted to owning a tivo, after some nudging from me. Finally, when she realized what kind of person I am, she admitted to owning two tivos. If she REALLY knew me, she would have lied and said she had 3, but nobody's perfect.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
"And the only reason I put things off is that I am a perfectionist. I put too much pressure on myself, and I am my own harshest critic."

The funniest interview ever was an exit interview in which an extended family member actually fired me from a legal gig for having "a terrible attitude, which shows." I almost grabbed the guy who fired me by the neck.