Fashion Board 1-08-04 through 02-03-04

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I'm sensing a theme for your wedding already.



And the maid of honor will be responsible for keeping your wedding gown looking purrrrfect.

[url]http://classicalphotography.com/Quadrupeds%20at%20Weddings!/6-22%20cat%20on%20bride's%20train.jpg

TM

You are off on two small details-

1) the upper arm flab is missing and
2) the groom needs a beard and to look slightly more gnomish.



edited to remove large photo. e/o

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
You are off on two small details-

1) the upper arm flab is missing and
2) the groom needs a beard and to look slightly more gnomish.

I would also hope your friends, or future sisters-in-law, are more presentable than the jawless cows signed up for this poor women's wedding party.

[Montecore]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
[cat weddings]
TM

Great! Am I invited? Or at least work the reception gig? I'm not really a song and dance cat, but I know entertainment. And I'll help you select a caterer. Preferably a succulent one.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Doesnt matter. Once you have the stink of mothballs and the light glaze of cat fur all over you, the best you can hope for is a wedding where smug marrieds like tmdiva point out your wrinkly neck and more attractive bridesmaids. You can take the woman out of spinsterhood but you cant take the spinster out of the woman. Which is why my wedding will be a small family only affair.

She's wrong, of course. I went for a tiny bit of cleavage myself, and felt smashingly sexy. But if she's that much of an unsightly hag this young, and really can't show her hideous wrinkly upper body to her friends, well, that's why God made high-necked dresses.

And I would imagine Scotch tape, pressed lightly onto then lifted off the all-covering wedding garb, would take care of the spinster cat hair.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by barely_legal
This is a serious question, so while I know I'll get the usual number of smart-ass responses, I would like at least a few serious responses sprinkled in (I know I can count on NB and RT for that, at least).

What's the best way of telling a guy that he's an awful kisser? I've gone out with this guy a few times, and I like him, but he is the worst kisser in the world. I'm not exaggerating, THE WORLD. His kissing technique is so bad that I've considered just not going out with him again and blaming a lack of "chemistry", but I've decided to try to act like a grown up instead and actually talk to him about it.

Guys, how would you like a girl to tell you that your kissing turns her off? How can I say it so that he will listen and adjust, but so that he doesn't hate me? I've never had to deal with this before. Girls, have you ever been successful at getting a guy to change his kissing technique? If so, how?

If it makes a difference, his technique is bad b/c it consists solely of licking my lips (ew ew ew) and then jamming his massive tongue down my throat. That's it. That's the sum total of how he kisses. If I knew for a fact that he would always kiss like that and would never change, I would gladly break up with him right now rather than endure another one of those kisses. But everything else about his seems great so far, so I'm hoping that maybe he can just be re-trained.

Note: I have not scrolled. I post with abandon.

If I were on a mission to re-train, I'd show him how it's done. I'd say something like, "honey, let me show you what really turns me on." I'd tell him to be perfectly still, mouth slightly open, and tell him not to move. Then I'd kiss the hell out of him, not using my tongue at all. If the tongue moved or reacted even a little I'd pull back and make him be still again and then start over from scratch. When he could kiss me back without getting his tongue down my throat, I'd let him try to kiss me while I didn't move. If the tongue got even a little play, I'd move away and make him start over.

Of course, it's very likely using this technique that you'll go a little further than you intended to.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Note: I have not scrolled. I post with abandon.

No worries. Nobody said exactly that, quite that way.

Is it warm in here?

[Anne Elk]

Anybody seen this? Seems rather silly, yet more dumbing down of ESPN. Oh, how I pine for the glory days when they covered sports, all sports, and nothing but sports.

It does have a picture of Pink and Britney in gladiator attire which Slave would appreciate. It's in Flash format so I'm unable to post it here. Link here. It's #5 in the picture section.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
No worries. Nobody said exactly that, quite that way.

Is it warm in here?

Sultry.

[Shape Shifter]

Houston is already out of Cristal. No use going to Snoop Dogg's Pimps & Hos party now.

http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory...olitan/2363316

[NotFromHere]

Men, all wet. On the premise that a man can never be too wet.


Wet men

Highlights. Mark Phillipousis without the monkey ears he had in yesterday's pic.

For fufu, Orlando Bloom

Lenny Kravitz

Ben Afflack
And mister yummy himself, Brad Pitt

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Men, all wet. On the premise that a man can never be too wet.

Is this Shemar person supposed to be attractive to women?

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by barely_legal
What's the best way of telling a guy that he's an awful kisser?

If it makes a difference, his technique is bad b/c it consists solely of licking my lips (ew ew ew) and then jamming his massive tongue down my throat. That's it. That's the sum total of how he kisses.

Ouch.

Actually, the fact that it is bad techinique that makes Tongue Boy a bad kisser (rather than something intangible) may be a good sign.

Try telling him the next time you start to kiss that he should not use the tongue so much. Lie. Tell him you had an ex-boyfriend who slobbered all over you, and that when you and Tongue Boy kiss that you just have these flashbacks that are really bad because it was a really bad breakup. And, therefore, that you like more lips than tongue in your kisses.

If he is a nice guy, he will feel bad and change his approach. Just remind him every now and then when he starts licking.

Good luck.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Houston is already out of Cristal. No use going to Snoop Dogg's Pimps & Hos party now.

Why would we worry about a shortage of this "classy bubbly"?

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Is this Shemar person supposed to be attractive to women?

Witht the exception of the gay shorts, I think the women of the world will mostly agree with me when I say hell yeah!
You would prefer Matthew McConaghey?

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Is this Shemar person supposed to be attractive to women?

My mother-in-law loves him. I sign cards to her "love, Shemar" because that's the kind of corny daughter-in-law I am.

(this is the woman who thought a tutu was an appropriate christmas gift for her 30 year-old daughter-in-law, so take her taste for what it is worth.)