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09-19-2003, 03:51 PM
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#24346
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In my dreams ...
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,955
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Death Question
Quote:
Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
A related question for the board: It is my practice, in expressing condolences, to say or write "You're in my family's prayers" even if the bereaved is not known to be religious or spiritual in any way, unless on previous occasions the bereaved has expressly denounced all religion practiced by me and others as hokum. ... "You'll be in my thoughts" never seems like enough.
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I tend to use "thoughts and prayers" for mostly the same reasons. Anyone not given to prayer and not given to rabid hatred of all religion will usually take it as a standard expression not to be subjected to too much literal scrutiny. Anyone given to prayer will be consoled that we are praying. If I know of anti-religious sentiment, I just say "thoughts," and I haven't yet had anyone surprise me upon receiving a condolence note with as yet unsuspected rabid anti-religiosity so far.
In one case where I knew of rigid atheism, but I didn't know enough about the deceased to say much of anything beyond "bummer," I think I said something like "our heart goes out to you, please know you are in our thoughts at this difficult time" or something like that so it didn't seem quite so bare.
Condolence notes are like thank you notes, birthday/anniversary notes and invitations: once you have a model, just change the names and fill in the blank left for the one specific reference necessary to make it personal. People forget that writing a condolence (or thank you) note is extremely easy, and takes significantly less time that getting a card anyhow.
BRC's Model Condolence Note, for any and all occasions:
"Dear _________,
I was so [shocked and] saddened to hear of your loss. [I] [The Mr.] [My Mother] always remember fondly [your stories of] [___insert some specific thing you either witnessed or heard the addressee say about the deceased ____]. [If the deceased was universally hated, replace the preceding sentence with "_______ had such a strong influence on all who knew him." If the deceased was a wallflower and made no impression on anyone, replace with "________ was always a calm eye in the storm of our day-to-day existence." If all else fails, or in addition, use the ambiguous "I can only express my sincere sympathy for what you must feel."] Please know that you are in the Mr.'s and my thoughts [and prayers].
Sincerely yours,
BRC"
__________________
- Life is too short to wear cheap shoes.
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09-19-2003, 03:54 PM
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#24347
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[intentionally omitted]
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NYC
Posts: 18,597
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in elaine voice: GET OUT!
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
It was a little over the top. It looked forced in all scenes. She never really looked like she was turned on by Billy Bob (not that I blame her) and the sex scene was meh. Due to the fact the she never really seems at all attracted to him.
Maybe it was the directors fault - mostly it was just the over acting.
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I disagree completely. She didn't look like she was forcing anything in that role to me. And I definitely don't see the over acting.
And she wasn't supposed to look like she was turned on by Billy Bob in the sex scene. That was the point of the scene. She just wanted someone to make her feel good because she was having such a hard time. It wasn't about any attraction to him on her part. He was in the right place at the right time.
TM
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09-19-2003, 03:55 PM
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#24348
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World Ruler
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 12,057
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nfh personal k
Quote:
Originally posted by Anttwat
And an attitude adjustment, young man.
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Go drink some breast milk, mammal.
__________________
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
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09-19-2003, 03:56 PM
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#24349
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Throwing a kettle over a pub
Posts: 14,743
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ACLster?
Quote:
Originally posted by fnordfnordhummingbird
Ben's playing well this time around. Spends some time in the chair, some time standing up, and a little bit of wandering around while other people play. He's got a good Marvin Gaye bit in the middle of the set.
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I'll be attending the Wilco concert tomorrow night. * Anyone jealous?
*This sentence just reminded me of Stephan Marbury's "I will be attending the University of Georgia Tech" statement...
__________________
No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.
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09-19-2003, 03:58 PM
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#24350
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prodigal poster
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: gate 27
Posts: 2,710
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ACLster?
They are not playing together. In fact, they may be playing different days. I am just curious to see JJ to see what a one-man jam band looks like.
The great thing about ACL is the 8 stages, so when we get bored like at Topaz, G Love, and some rock band with dudes from Nirvana, you just stroll to the next venue.
__________________
My enemies curse my name, but rave about my ass.
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09-19-2003, 04:00 PM
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#24351
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Throwing a kettle over a pub
Posts: 14,743
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in elaine voice: GET OUT!
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
It was a little over the top. It looked forced in all scenes. She never really looked like she was turned on by Billy Bob (not that I blame her) and the sex scene was meh. Due to the fact the she never really seems at all attracted to him.
Maybe it was the directors fault - mostly it was just the over acting.
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She was perfect in "The Last Boy Scout"* though.
*Moving up on my bad movies that are fun to watch list, but not coming near any movie with Patrick Swayze.
__________________
No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.
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09-19-2003, 04:03 PM
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#24352
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Flaired.
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Out with Lumbergh.
Posts: 9,954
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nfh personal k
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
Same question I asked Stick Shifter. Why?
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Not that I need to explain anything, particularly since my joke was not directed at you, but the reason why SS goes on about the gay man thing or ltl goes on about your grandparents' sex life is that you act like it bothers you. I'm not gonna take offense if TM includes hottie in a disproportionate number of posts because that's what people do for amusement (their own or others') on internet boards. I thought that went without saying. Sorta a common sense thing.
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09-19-2003, 04:10 PM
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#24353
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Too Good For Post Numbers
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 65,535
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nfh personal k
Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Sorta a common sense thing.
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Fuck. There's a new rule and nobody announced it?
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09-19-2003, 04:11 PM
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#24354
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World Ruler
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 12,057
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nfh personal k
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
What is wrong with you?
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Hey, I'm OK, you're OK. I'm all about moral relativism.
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
Why do you keep saying that?
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Whether you are or not, I really don't care. But your online persona for your nfh sock comes across more as gay male than straight female. The only thing you've said that would lead me to believe otherwise is something about belonging to a sorority. But then I also believe you're on the West Coast, and things may be different there.
__________________
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
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09-19-2003, 04:15 PM
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#24355
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Government Yard in Trenchtown
Posts: 20,182
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nfh personal k
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
But then I also believe you're on the West Coast, and things may be different there.
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You mean you can do reptile to mammal shape shifting but can't quite make it to Homo Californiass?
OK, I can believe that.
__________________
A wee dram a day!
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09-19-2003, 04:21 PM
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#24356
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No title
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Here
Posts: 8,092
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nfh personal k
Quote:
Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Not that I need to explain anything, particularly since my joke was not directed at you, but the reason why SS goes on about the gay man thing or ltl goes on about your grandparents' sex life is that you act like it bothers you. I'm not gonna take offense if TM includes hottie in a disproportionate number of posts because that's what people do for amusement (their own or others') on internet boards. I thought that went without saying. Sorta a common sense thing.
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OK, fair enough.
But when I see the gay man joke, I think to myself OMG, not again. But I have to respond. I guess that's my OCD, and knowing that responding will perpetuate it now, I will try to be less bothered by it.
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09-19-2003, 04:21 PM
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#24357
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World Ruler
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 12,057
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nfh personal k
Quote:
Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
You mean you can do reptile to mammal shape shifting but can't quite make it to Homo Californiass?
OK, I can believe that.
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We control the studios. Do we need to control the greek system as well?
(as if we don't already, tee hee)
__________________
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
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09-19-2003, 04:23 PM
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#24358
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Puck You
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Surrounded by idiots and assholes.
Posts: 1,076
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Hooking up
http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/09/19/oa....ap/index.html
"OAKLAND, California (AP) -- After nearly four months of deliberations, exhausted jurors said they remained hopelessly deadlocked in the trial of three former Oakland police officers charged with beating suspects and lying on police reports.
The statement Thursday came a year to the day after testimony in the case began. The seven-man, five-woman jury has deliberated since May 29, when the judge gave them 122 pages of instructions. "
I wonder if any of the jurors hooked up with one another. It doesn't say that they were sequestered and I don't recall hearing that anywhere but that doesn't mean that some of them haven't or aren't getting closer to one another. It would be interesting to find out that there were a couple of jurors fucking around who didn't want the case to end and were the holdouts.
And how does a law student sit on a jury for a year -- I seem to recall attending at least some classes to get that piece of paper.
__________________
When you say Budweiser you've said it all.
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09-19-2003, 04:25 PM
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#24359
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No title
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Here
Posts: 8,092
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nfh personal k
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Hey, I'm OK, you're OK. I'm all about moral relativism.
Whether you are or not, I really don't care. But your online persona for your nfh sock comes across more as gay male than straight female. The only thing you've said that would lead me to believe otherwise is something about belonging to a sorority. But then I also believe you're on the West Coast, and things may be different there.
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Ok, I'm down with that - as long as my gay male persona continues to have good taste in men.
Just an FYI, FWIW and I know you know and it was just a snarky comment but, there are no gay men in sororities - even on the west coast. That I know of.
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09-19-2003, 04:29 PM
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#24360
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World Ruler
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 12,057
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nfh personal k
Quote:
Originally posted by NotFromHere
Just an FYI, FWIW and I know you know and it was just a snarky comment but, there are no gay men in sororities - even on the west coast. That I know of.
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A pity. It could be so . . . camp.
__________________
"More than two decades later, it is hard to imagine the Revolutionary War coming out any other way."
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