Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03 - 10-3-03

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
S(You need Jessica because Christina Aguillera will soon be a great big hookerish version of Cass Elliot if she keeps up that Ho-ho and Big Mac diet)D

Xtina looks like she lost the weight for the Versace campaign. But not to worry--she still looks like a cheap whore (a good match for Versace)--she's just back to being a skinny one.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
I make it a point not to frequent musical festivals whose fans say "zounds,"* although this one sounded like lots of fun.


* As you might imagine, this has cost me my friends in the Society for Creative Anachronism.

Zounds is not typically in my vocabulary. I attribute its use to the lingering effects of spending too much time in the handmade soap tent. The overpowering essence of patchouli destroys the dorkspeak blockers in the brain.

Not to mention the flavored teas. Forsooth!

[Socking_Up]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I don't think Nick Lachey is all that bright - I think someone with half a brain would have seen what she is all about a long time ago. I have to say, I still don't really understand the whole "I look like a sexpot but don't fuck me" phenomenon. Who wants to marry someone who subscribes to that? I can see wanting to fuck her, because she looks good, but marriage - that is a whole different ball game.

I can't believe I'm defending Nick Lachey, either, but he may be smarter than the average bear. Teen Ho Barbie is hot, and Nick 'n Barbie live in California, where the average celerbrity relationship/marriage lasts about 15 minutes. He marries her, tries her out, and if there's no sexual chemistry they get a quickie divorce, Drew Barrymore style. Who loses? Surely not him.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Bitch please. Keep with the program. Xtina lost a bit of the extra and looks hot again. She is on the list I keep in the protective folder that my faxes come to me in. Along with Nick.

Aguillera's growing a great bir arse. Its plainly obvious. She can yo-yo a bit with the help of diet pills, but explosion day is coming. Its inevitable.

Even if they transplanted her head onto Gisele's body she'd be nasty. She's got a strange skull and a hairline like James Taylor. Her head is close second behind Scotty Pippen's for "most aesthetically unappealing cranium."

S(and should should stop wearing those weird berets - it makes her head look even larger and more alien-like)D

[bilmore]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Losing your virginity is probably the most anti-climactic event in your life.

Uh, this was an intentional pun, right?

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
By no means is Nick a rocket surgeon, but at least he's relatively down-to-earth and independent enough to survive on his own.*

To quote Paul in "Beautiful Girls" [S]he's like a retarded kid who doesn't even know [s]he's retarded."


*I can't believe I'm defending this guy.**

**Said in a "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy" Dukakis voice.

Beautiful Girls is one of my all time favorite flicks. And the soundrtrack is pretty good too. Whatever happened to Pete Droge anyway?

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Anti-X-Tina

Well, good then. If it ever comes down to you, me and X-tina in a stuck elevator, you can shimmy face-first into the corner to shield your eyes from the grotesque display. Good to know I will have no competition from you.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Even if they transplanted her head onto Gisele's body she'd be nasty. She's got a strange skull and a hairline like James Taylor. Her head is close second behind Scotty Pippen's for "most aesthetically unappealing cranium."

S(and should should stop wearing those weird berets - it makes her head look even larger and more alien-like)D

The Casper the Streetwalking Ghost makeup Versace's got on her in the print ads doesn't help. It also covers her under-lip stud which makes her look like she has a huge wart. Pasty, tarty witch--not a good look.

Edited to add, she's probably quite pretty in her natural state--I've just never seen it.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Beautiful Girls is one of my all time favorite flicks. And the soundrtrack is pretty good too.

It's also the only time in history that Rosie O'Donnell has ever been funny.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Is Jessica Simpson the chick who claims to have remained a virgin until she married some cat from a really shitty band? If so, I have a huuuuge fuckin question... how in the fuck does she reconcile not fucking before getting hitched, but nevertheless getting implants? Putting implants into a virgin is like overhauling and upgrading the engine in a junked car. If you can't use those funbags, what's the fuckin point?

Dude, that's called bait. You think any "decent" (and I use the term loosely) guy claiming to be husband material would wait for sex and marry a Flat Jessica? You get the airbags to attract a larger pool of potential husbands. And at least one of them should be marriage material.

As for them being real and she just developed early - kind of what Britany said - except Britany said she developed late (18) and did NOT have airbags installed.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Bitch please. Keep with the program. Xtina lost a bit of the extra and looks hot again. She is on the list I keep in the protective folder that my faxes come to me in. Along with Nick.

I put Jack Johnson on that list this weekend. Those quiet contemplative types can be freaks in bed. He's such a hottie.*


*And I mean that in the most derogatory manner possible.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Jack Johnson

Have a better life.

Christ.

Everything this guy touches turns to gold.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Whatever happened to Pete Droge anyway?

He's still around. He recently collaborated with Matthew Sweet and Shawn Mullins. The group is called the Thorns. I've only heard the first single, which sounds kind of like CS&N.

http://www.thethornsmusic.com/

spree: There's music when you click on the link, so I suggest you turn your speakers down a bit.

sf

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Have a better life.

Christ.

Everything this guy touches turns to gold.

Yeah, I'm sure it sucks to be him. Surfer, model, songwriter.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Tyrone_Slothrop
Favorite Simpsons cameo of all time? Good question.

George C. Scott in "Man Getting Hit by a Football."

Billy Corgan. "We envy you, Homer. All we have is our music, our legions of fans, our millions of dollars, and our youth. [pause] Woo-hoo!"

Johnny Cash as the Coyote in the dreamquest.

Or Christopher Walken* reading "Goodnight Moon" at the Book Faire.

*Actually, I think this was Jay Mohr doing his CW.