Missing the Paigow (et al.) [sniff] - Page 179

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 01-03-2006, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
She did an excellent job of describing what it would be like to blow Ronald McDonald.

Well, you know what they say about guys with big clown feet...

str8outavannuys · 01-03-2006, 04:31 PM

So before I dive into these ten files, I want to describe the easiest sports bet I'll ever make. Yesterday, with VA Tech up by 11, the Hokies had the ball at midfield and were about to punt the ball back to Louisville with 2:40 left in the game, whose QB had just taken two of the hardest hits I've ever seen. VA Tech's defense was fired up, and Louisville was done.

In this situation, I was able to buy 10 shares of Louisville -9.5 at 72. I thought they would have been in the 84-90 range. (shares pay 100 for winning side at game's end, 0 for losing side). Damn, I wish I'd bought 40 of them. Easiest $280 I'll ever make.

For the record, the Louisville QB threw a pick on the third play of their drive. Game over. I love when it's that easy.

Hank Chinaski · 01-03-2006, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
Based on my litigation experience, they decide in favor of whichever lawyer is more likeable. In the case of my old firm, that was us, 91.5% of the time.

if everyone was so likable, why would you leave?

sebastian_dangerfield · 01-03-2006, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
if everyone was so likable, why would you leave?

He was Mr. 8.5 %.

ABBAKiss · 01-03-2006, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
And if anyone cares, I have a fully functional desk and chair. I also have ten files on my desk and not too sure what to do with them. I've never felt more like Costanza in my life. God help my new clients.

If you have good hair and wear a sharp suit, your clients will appreciate the origami you create from their files.

ltl/fb · 01-03-2006, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I was getting a spray-on tan and everything was going fine when the girl spraying me said absently "oh, so you're not a natural redhead?" It just struck me as amusing because even though I'm standing there naked, usually in these situations no one *ever* acknowledges that fact. So then we made out and I got brown spray-on goo all over her.

I should probably stp, but isn't this contraindicated if you want a realistic-looking tan? I mean, now you'll be all patchy.

Sidd Finch · 01-03-2006, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Not Bob
Indeed.

And, I apologize, but the elevator was playing something* on my way back from lunch, which led to this. Blame the muse.

Who's posting angst all over the FB
Sneering at law and raging at life
Who calls The Man to give him the finger?
Everyone knows it's Sebby

Whose tripping days were yesterday's glory
Feelin' the breeze in Hickey and Pink
Who's trading quips with judges and juries?
Everyone knows it's Sebby.

But Sebby don't like blow jobs
Bands with horns, union slobs
And Sebby has nightmares of
Corn on the cob (corn on the cob)
Corn on the cob (corn on the cob)!
[repeat and fade]

*The Association, "Windy"

What bothers me is that I'm old enough to remember the original song.

Old, old, old.

Shape Shifter · 01-03-2006, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
So before I dive into these ten files, I want to describe the easiest sports bet I'll ever make. Yesterday, with VA Tech up by 11, the Hokies had the ball at midfield and were about to punt the ball back to Louisville with 2:40 left in the game, whose QB had just taken two of the hardest hits I've ever seen. VA Tech's defense was fired up, and Louisville was done.

In this situation, I was able to buy 10 shares of Louisville -9.5 at 72. I thought they would have been in the 84-90 range. (shares pay 100 for winning side at game's end, 0 for losing side). Damn, I wish I'd bought 40 of them. Easiest $280 I'll ever make.

For the record, the Louisville QB threw a pick on the third play of their drive. Game over. I love when it's that easy.

Still like SC in the Rose Bowl? How many points are you willing to give?

str8outavannuys · 01-03-2006, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
If you have good hair and wear a sharp suit, your clients will appreciate the origami you create from their files.

I don't, and the office is business casual.

Shape Shifter · 01-03-2006, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
I don't, and the office is business casual.

You should get DK as a client. She might go for something other than your hair.

str8outavannuys · 01-03-2006, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Still like SC in the Rose Bowl? How many points are you willing to give?

Why would I give more than the 7 that it's currently at? But I'm thinking I'm going to bet them (a) on the money line, and (b) a 6 point teaser with Penn State, and USC/UT Over.

That latter bet means you can bet $93.75 to win an additional $150 on the following three events occurring: Penn State winning by more than 4 points (the line is 10, so it teases down to 4), USC winning by more than 1 point (the line is 7 so it teases down to 1), and the total points scored in the Rose Bowl equalling more than 63 (line is 69 . . .)

Shape Shifter · 01-03-2006, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
Why would I give more than the 7 that it's currently at? But I'm thinking I'm going to bet them (a) on the money line, and (b) a 6 point teaser with Penn State, and USC/UT Over.

That latter bet means you can bet $93.75 to win an additional $150 on the following three events occurring: Penn State winning by more than 4 points (the line is 10, so it teases down to 4), USC winning by more than 1 point (the line is 7 so it teases down to 1), and the total points scored in the Rose Bowl equalling more than 63 (line is 69 . . .)

If you give me 7, I'll take UT for $50 to the board.

Replaced_Texan · 01-03-2006, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Diane_Keaton
The drapes don't always match the curtains. I dated a blonde (um...guy) for 5 years and it took me 4 of them to get used to the fact that he had red pubes** and leg hair, while everything else was blonde (including the eyebrows).

'Cuz someone else who was there will tell this story if I don't:

The scene: Two days after Christmas, in a French bistro in the Rice University Village. Close to the end of a nice lunch.

The actors: Most of my immediate family and balt.

The discussion: My sister's natural hair color, which hasn't been seen since circa 1999. It's currently jet-black, though it's had stints with red streaks.

Dad: So dark brown like RT's or darker, like [RT's brother's]?

Sister: I don't know. Probably [RT's brother's]. Look at the roots, I'm sure there are some there?

Dad: Hmmm. I can't tell. It's dark, but not black. Why black?

Sister: I don't know. It's been a long time.

A waiter leans over to grab the signed credit card receipt.

Dad: Well, what color are your pubes?

A waiter quickly retreats.

RT: That poor, poor waiter. I hope you tipped him well.

The poor waiter had to come back to ask for another signature, since the original didn't go through. He wouldn't look at any of us in the face.

And damnit, I liked that restaurant. What's an approrpiate time to wait for waitstaff turnover?

ABBAKiss · 01-03-2006, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
I don't, and the office is business casual.

Then you, sir, are FUCKED!!!!!!

Mmmm, Burger (C.J.) · 01-03-2006, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan

Dad: Well, what color are your pubes?

Your dad is Paigow?