A frolic in Cambodia - Page 18

lookingformarket · 10-28-2004, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
POLL: If you won the lottery* tomorrow ($150 MM, after taxes) and didn't care about burning bridges or a fucked up reputation, how would you leave your firm (job, whatever) in a blaze of glory? I think about this shit all the time (sad, hunh?). Think of the legend you would be if you did something really good. Hell, I love it when a smarmy departure email goes around.

As I said, I think about it all the time, but the best I can come up with is taking a shit on a certain partner's desk in the middle of the day (I didn't even invent that). And if I ever win the lottery, I will post a photo of same here.

But someone here has to be more creative or evil than this.

TM

*Not the Spanish one

I'd be going back to my prior firm and taking a shit on several desks there. I'd probably stay at the current firm for an extended period to help with transition (probably stay for at least 3-4 hours).

The alternative is I'd stay for a week or so (and not tell anyone I'd won), but I'd hire one of those huge Samoan bodyguards you always see on ET and post him at my door so that nobody could come in to give me stuff to do.

Shape Shifter · 10-28-2004, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
POLL: If you won the lottery* tomorrow ($150 MM, after taxes) and didn't care about burning bridges or a fucked up reputation, how would you leave your firm (job, whatever) in a blaze of glory? I think about this shit all the time (sad, hunh?). Think of the legend you would be if you did something really good. Hell, I love it when a smarmy departure email goes around.

As I said, I think about it all the time, but the best I can come up with is taking a shit on a certain partner's desk in the middle of the day (I didn't even invent that). And if I ever win the lottery, I will post a photo of same here.

But someone here has to be more creative or evil than this.

TM

*Not the Spanish one

Leave on good terms. Invite all partners to a week on your estate in, say, New Zealand. Feign disappointment when they tell you they will be unable to make it because they have to work.

lookingformarket · 10-28-2004, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by lookingformarket
I'd be going back to my prior firm and taking a shit on several desks there. I'd probably stay at the current firm for an extended period to help with transition (probably stay for at least 3-4 hours).

The alternative is I'd stay for a week or so (and not tell anyone I'd won), but I'd hire one of those huge Samoan bodyguards you always see on ET and post him at my door so that nobody could come in to give me stuff to do.

Another alternative is that I would hire a convincing actress who look underage to come in and make a huge scene in the asshole partner's office claiming that he impregnated her.

Replaced_Texan · 10-28-2004, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
POLL: If you won the lottery* tomorrow ($150 MM, after taxes) and didn't care about burning bridges or a fucked up reputation, how would you leave your firm (job, whatever) in a blaze of glory? I think about this shit all the time (sad, hunh?). Think of the legend you would be if you did something really good. Hell, I love it when a smarmy departure email goes around.

As I said, I think about it all the time, but the best I can come up with is taking a shit on a certain partner's desk in the middle of the day (I didn't even invent that). And if I ever win the lottery, I will post a photo of same here.

But someone here has to be more creative or evil than this.

TM

*Not the Spanish one

I'd feel sort of bad now, because I don't hate my job, and we're sort of short staffed. BUT at my former job, heh, heh, heh, I would have bought out all of the other associates at twice whatever their salaries were, and left the asshole partner with nothing.

ET Clarify: I'd leave here within hours, but I'd feel sort of guilty about it for a few minutes. I would have also bought out his much maligned secretary, without whom, he would flounder. Plus, a multi-millionaire needs a good secretary, right?

Alex_de_Large · 10-28-2004, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by lookingformarket
Another alternative is that I would hire a convincing actress who look underage to come in and make a huge scene in the asshole partner's office claiming that he impregnated her.

Ooooh, I like that one.

robustpuppy · 10-28-2004, 05:02 PM

... the appeal of defecating on another person's desk. No matter how badly I wanted revenge on someone, I would never want to do that. Ever.

Is this a male thing?

ltl/fb · 10-28-2004, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I'd feel sort of bad now, because I don't hate my job, and we're sort of short staffed. BUT at my former job, heh, heh, heh, I would have bought out all of the other associates at twice whatever their salaries were, and left the asshole partner with nothing.

ET Clarify: I'd leave here within hours, but I'd feel sort of guilty about it for a few minutes. I would have also bought out his much maligned secretary, without whom, he would flounder. Plus, a multi-millionaire needs a good secretary, right?

I'm still insanely happy at my new job, so I'd probably do a real transition here. However, I like the idea of buying needed underlings out from under bosses you hate at former jobs. Like, 2 years of salary so that they have plenty of time/money to find a new job. The partner I hate most in the world has run off all the associates he has ever managed to get to come work for him, and has no one, so unfortunately I can't punish him. But there are others only slightly less hated . . .

ltl/fb · 10-28-2004, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
... the appeal of defecating on another person's desk. No matter how badly I wanted revenge on someone, I would never want to do that. Ever.

Is this a male thing?

On a related note, any female ever wanted to pee on something as a sign of rejection/hatred/whatever? I really have only ever wanted to pee and shit in toilets.

ThurgreedMarshall · 10-28-2004, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
... the appeal of defecating on another person's desk. No matter how badly I wanted revenge on someone, I would never want to do that. Ever.

Is this a male thing?

I just think the reaction of the shittee would be so funny. I mean, if you've never seen a genuine expression of shock, you'd be assured of seeing one then (depending on which way you're facing). It's got to be the last possible thing anyone would expect. How would he even react? I'm not going to argue that my brain works right. It just strikes me as funny.

Come on. If this actually happened and the story circled the globe in an email and you knew the firm/partner/shitter/whatever, you wouldn't be amused?

TM

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 10-28-2004, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
... the appeal of defecating on another person's desk. No matter how badly I wanted revenge on someone, I would never want to do that. Ever.

Is this a male thing?

This is a candle mold:

[IMG]http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=fake+poop/v=2/SID=e/l=IVS/SIG=12032obdt/*-http%3A//www.soapandcandlemolds.com/images/3d8-4dogpoop01.jpg[/IMG]

Please buy one and put it on your desk.

Shape Shifter · 10-28-2004, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by robustpuppy
... the appeal of defecating on another person's desk. No matter how badly I wanted revenge on someone, I would never want to do that. Ever.

Is this a male thing?

Slaughtering the partner's children in his office doesn't work because he wouldn't recognize his children.

ltl/fb · 10-28-2004, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I just think the reaction of the shittee would be so funny. I mean, if you've never seen a genuine expression of shock, you'd be assured of seeing one then (depending on which way you're facing). It's got to be the last possible thing anyone would expect. How would he even react? I'm not going to argue that my brain works right. It just strikes me as funny.

Come on. If this actually happened and the story circled the globe in an email and you knew the firm/partner/shitter/whatever, you wouldn't be amused?

TM

I would be amused, but I would never want to do it. Rotting, maggot-laden roadkill would be equally stinky and unexpected and wouldn't involve shitting outside of a toilet.

Shape Shifter · 10-28-2004, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
This is a candle mold:

Please buy one and put it on your desk.

Someone got a little overzealous in a game of quarters, I see.

Alex_de_Large · 10-28-2004, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Slaughtering the partner's children in his office doesn't work because he wouldn't recognize his children.

You could always slaughter his mistress. That might work better.

Flinty_McFlint · 10-28-2004, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
POLL: If you won the lottery* tomorrow ($150 MM, after taxes) and didn't care about burning bridges or a fucked up reputation, how would you leave your firm (job, whatever) in a blaze of glory? I think about this shit all the time (sad, hunh?). Think of the legend you would be if you did something really good. Hell, I love it when a smarmy departure email goes around.

As I said, I think about it all the time, but the best I can come up with is taking a shit on a certain partner's desk in the middle of the day (I didn't even invent that). And if I ever win the lottery, I will post a photo of same here.

But someone here has to be more creative or evil than this.

TM

*Not the Spanish one

This is my favorite dream. Here is my farewell speech, verbatim:

"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, fuck you, eat shit, call me, later dude."

eta: first person to guess which movie this was based on gets a quarter.