Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03 - 10-3-03

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Purse Junkie,

"Clearly, you've never been leered at or otherwise street harassed by some perv. This includes the assholes in suits who have to impress their coworkers with their manliness by hassling us."

You're an adult. You know that certain things will make certain peoples' heads turn, and its tremendously disinegnuous to make the argument that leering is a horrific side effect you didn't bargain for. When you dress sexy and are lucky enough to be attractive, you'll get looks from everyone.

"And am I supposed to wear a fucking burka so that a guy won't make some disgusting comment?"

Hey, the lowest common denominator will always make such comments.

"If the guys can't control themselves, why not simply restrict them to their houses instead of limiting my life?"

Well, I've thought the same about women many times, but I realize, life would suck without them, even though they're a royal fucking pain in the ass a lot of the time.

"Has it occurred to any guy that I might be dressing up to impress my friends or for myself that day, and don't care if he's attracted to me?"

Yes. 99.9% of us have decent manners. We check your ass out, but we don't leer, and we naver comment out loud. And you like the idea that someone like me in a suit is smiling when he holds the door for you. You get that because you're attractive. I like the idea that i can get the waitress to seat me because I'm not some fat ugly slug, and I work that angle all the time.

"Are you asking to be mugged by wearing that nice watch?"

If I'm going out and getting very drunk, I'll often wear a different watch. Gotta deal with reality.

I've had a cat make a gross comment to me about my own wife in a bar, loud enough so she could hear it. I just shrug it off with a laugh. You can't get mad at folks like that - just pity them.

S(didn't mean to piss you off)D

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by str8outavannuys
Can anyone help me with a list of songs about (preferably female) movie stars? I heard the original Candle in the Wind, and started trying to think of more. I haven't come up with very many:

Candle in the Wind
Uptown Girl
and the best of my short list:
One-Eyed Fiona (Julia Roberts -- sample lyric: "Her daddy's gone to heaven/her momma won't like you/her brother he's crazy/just might bite you").

Any more?

Bette Davis Eyes
Vogue (mentions several female icons)

Originally posted by Fashionable But Anonymous
So what the hell do you do when the girlfriend has put on some lbs!!?? There is no way I'm saying ANYTHING, although I constantly am reminded of her weight increase (she's put on about 10-15 lbs) from her subtle comments like "I'm a fatty" and "don't look at my fat ass".

Just the other day she asked me how much a certain ex-girlfriend weighed, and I didn't want to tell her (103 but she was TINY)...I know this sounds shallow but I have a huge aversion to fat, especially since this whole country is grotesquely obese...

FYI, she's great in all other aspects. She keeps telling me she needs to lose weight. I, of course, am not going to overtly agree - I don't want her to get a complex. Additionally, I have received hints of an eating disorder in college, and in no way do I want her to starve herself...

Your thoughts?

My thoughts are you cannot do anything unfortunately. The good news is that she has already acknowledged the problem. And if she is smart, she will perceive that you are less attracted to her (ie you dont want to fuck her as much, you dont flatter her as much, she doesnt catch you admiring her as much). Like quittig smoking, getting on a health plan is something she will ahve to do on her own. If she senses someone is trying to subtly push her into it, ("hey honey,. lets join the gym"), she might subconsciously lash out and eat more or something.

I actually had this problem (who hasnt? You get in a relationship and suddenly you go out to dinner more, make full on meals together etc etc). I knew I gained weight and I sensed that the guy wasnt digging it. I asked him if he thought I was overweight and he came out and said I needed to lose a few. That of course did not make me want to lose weight- it made me think he was a superficial asshole.

I have since lost the guy and the weight. Becauise I love myself and want to be optimally healthy and happy and fat is a sign of unhappiness and codependency IMO. A symptom that all is not right

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
This may sound manipulative, but there's something to be said for being NICE and not directly telling someone you like spending time with that he or she is fat.

You underestimated the importance of the question. Some things are just too important to beat around the bush.

http://riceinfo.rice.edu/projects/re...7/obesity.html

(Spree: Study shows people just standing near the obese are perceived as less attractive and less qualified for employment.)

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Paigow,

Some wise old man said long ago "The more you discuss money and sex, the less you have of both." I think the same applies to "class" (or whatever perverse Ralph-Laurened construct of class that passes for its definition today).

American society is fluid as hell, aand the definition of what's classy changes day by day. Ranking people based on their adherence to strictures of what it used to be to be "old money" is absurd in 2003. I've done it myself, and I realize the folly, and the absurdity, of my previous comments. What's one man's poison is another man's caviar. For any of us to try to define with snide pomposity what social rules define us as better than others is silly today. Its a hobby that died with Marriweather Post. We're in the information age now, and I can be in LA or Paris in less than 8 hours. What I'm wearing or how I handle my salad fork really doesn't mean what it did when the bored idle rich wrote the "rules" so many years ago.

I've given up looking up or down at people based on class, because from what I see, you're as likely to find the qualities that should define class in the doorman picking his teeth as you are to find it in an heiress. As I recall, class was the permananet obsession of the kids at the golf course who's parents had more middle names than money. It was a pointless exercise then, and its a pointless exercise today...

Leave the judging to John Ashcroft.

S(Still a music snob, of course)D

Originally posted by dtb
My suggestion: tell her (if you can pull this off plausibly), "I think you look great, but if you're not happy with how you look, why not start a sensible diet/exercise program?"

This is totally passive aggressive and an insult to the gal's intelligence. If you are gonna say something like that, dont underestimate her sense of perception, and just say, hey, you could lose a few. . I love you, but you could lose a few.

But I still think she knows theres a problem and she only brings it up to see if you think so too. She will get with it (or she wont and then you have to decide whats next- but you arent there yet.



edited to fix code. e/o

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by baltassoc
You underestimated the importance of the question. Some things are just too important to beat around the bush.

http://riceinfo.rice.edu/projects/re...7/obesity.html

(Spree: Study shows people just standing near the obese are perceived as less attractive and less qualified for employment.)

Oh Christ - You tell her she's getting fat and to go jogging. If you let the ass get past a certain point of no return, it'll never go back to its old pert self. Once she's used to being fat, you're fucked.

Same goes for guys. If I'm getting fat, dear, tell me. If a guy can't perform missionary without his gut hanging embarrassingly down near his partners' stomach, he needs liposuction.

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I am smarter than that, darlin. You want to tell me you are dumbstruck by my razor sharp cheekbones? Go right ahead. I suspect you wont whack off to them later.

Can I tell you that I'm dumbstruck by your cheekbones and then go whack off to your tits? Just need to know the ground rules.

TGITNO (a hint: if you have nice breasts, someone is likely masturbating to them)

[QUOTE]Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
[B]Purse Junkie,

"Clearly, you've never been leered at or otherwise street harassed by some perv. This includes the assholes in suits who have to impress their coworkers with their manliness by hassling us."

You're an adult. You know that certain things will make certain peoples' heads turn, and its tremendously disinegnuous to make the argument that leering is a horrific side effect you didn't bargain for. When you dress sexy and are lucky enough to be attractive, you'll get looks from everyone.



TRANSLATION (props to TM):
Date Rape Guy from Sigme Abs: She wanted it, man.

Sebby, I love you to death, but you are being insentive and disrespectful to women everywhere with this attitude. If you are gonna gape at us like a twelve year old who just had his first wet dream, do us a favor and be subtle about it. ITs classier.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Purse Junkie,

"Clearly, you've never been leered at or otherwise street harassed by some perv. This includes the assholes in suits who have to impress their coworkers with their manliness by hassling us."

You're an adult. You know that certain things will make certain peoples' heads turn, and its tremendously disinegnuous to make the argument that leering is a horrific side effect you didn't bargain for. When you dress sexy and are lucky enough to be attractive, you'll get looks from everyone.

"And am I supposed to wear a fucking burka so that a guy won't make some disgusting comment?"

Hey, the lowest common denominator will always make such comments.

"If the guys can't control themselves, why not simply restrict them to their houses instead of limiting my life?"

Well, I've thought the same about women many times, but I realize, life would suck without them, even though they're a royal fucking pain in the ass a lot of the time.

"Has it occurred to any guy that I might be dressing up to impress my friends or for myself that day, and don't care if he's attracted to me?"

Yes. 99.9% of us have decent manners. We check your ass out, but we don't leer, and we naver comment out loud. And you like the idea that someone like me in a suit is smiling when he holds the door for you. You get that because you're attractive. I like the idea that i can get the waitress to seat me because I'm not some fat ugly slug, and I work that angle all the time.

"Are you asking to be mugged by wearing that nice watch?"

If I'm going out and getting very drunk, I'll often wear a different watch. Gotta deal with reality.

I've had a cat make a gross comment to me about my own wife in a bar, loud enough so she could hear it. I just shrug it off with a laugh. You can't get mad at folks like that - just pity them.

S(didn't mean to piss you off)D

Trust me, there's nothing sexy about my wearing a dull Jones New York suit and carrying a prissy Coach bag on my way to court. We can't leave the works at home so cut us some goddamn slack.

And of course we hear you guys. Every time. Then we tell all our friends who you are and what you said, which is why 90% of you end up nursing beers in bars with male friends muttering about how you'd all like to nail that woman who walked by and ignored you.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by paigowprincess
[B]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Purse Junkie,

"Clearly, you've never been leered at or otherwise street harassed by some perv. This includes the assholes in suits who have to impress their coworkers with their manliness by hassling us."

You're an adult. You know that certain things will make certain peoples' heads turn, and its tremendously disinegnuous to make the argument that leering is a horrific side effect you didn't bargain for. When you dress sexy and are lucky enough to be attractive, you'll get looks from everyone.



TRANSLATION (props to TM):
Date Rape Guy from Sigme Abs: She wanted it, man.

Sebby, I love you to death, but you are being insentive and disrespectful to women everywhere with this attitude. If you are gonna gape at us like a twelve year old who just had his first wet dream, do us a favor and be subtle about it. ITs classier.

Paigow - You know I'm not the date rape guy from the baseball fraternity. You and purse junkie are twisting my words unfairly. There's nothign I abhor more than violence toward women. You guys have run my comments pretty far afield of their orginal meaning - either address the points or don't, but please don't shift the playing field to give yourself an unfair advantage.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by purse junkie
Trust me, there's nothing sexy about my wearing a dull Jones New York suit and carrying a prissy Coach bag on my way to court. We can't leave the works at home so cut us some goddamn slack.

And of course we hear you guys. Every time. Then we tell all our friends who you are and what you said, which is why 90% of you end up nursing beers in bars with male friends muttering about how you'd all like to nail that woman who walked by and ignored you.

PJ - I've never made a lewd comment about a woman in my life. Don't confuse the me with the target of your ire. I am not one of those guys... not even fucking close. In fact, you'd be shocked if you saw me in a bar. The only thing I've ever been accused of by women is being aloof, which is total bullshit.

I've actually had women who were interested in me accuse me of not being forward enough, or being a snob or a dick because I didn't hit on them. How's that shit work? Just cause I'm a guy I have to chase you are around like a fucking chimp and lay tons of rap? What if I just feel like hanging out with friends and getting fucked up and wait for you to talk to me? Why should I have to got out and figure out who's interested - let her come to me.

S(double standard)D

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Paigow - You know I'm not the date rape guy from the baseball fraternity. You and purse junkie are twisting my words unfairly. There's nothign I abhor more than violence toward women. You guys have run my comments pretty far afield of their orginal meaning - either address the points or don't, but please don't shift the playing field to give yourself an unfair advantage.

This whole thing started bc I asked why people with fakes or big real ones would dress in a way so that their tits were hanging out and attract attention from leery pervs or something. You responded that I have a real hatred of fake tits and big natural ones, which did not answer my question (and of course you couldnt, you dont know what its like to be a woman). But then you said that all women love the attention and more power to them if they flash the tatas and give the men a free show. Which is wrong as PJ and I have demonstrated. THere are at least two of us who dont want it. Probably millions more. then you segued into how if women dressed a certain way, then they should expect to get the attention. THe attention from all sorts of men that they do not want. That is unwanted sexual attention, which is analagous but not as serious, but far more prevalent, to date rape. And the fact that you address it as something that should just be expected and dealt with if we dress a cerain way was your justification for it. Thats just wrong. And thats why I calle dyou date rape guy. bc your mentality is, you dress like it, you deserve to get this unwanted harassment. and you deserve it bc it is expected and you did it anyway.

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
PJ - I've never made a lewd comment about a woman in my life. Don't confuse the me with the target of your ire. I am not one of those guys... not even fucking close. In fact, you'd be shocked if you saw me in a bar. The only thing I've ever been accused of by women is being aloof, which is total bullshit.

I've actually had women who were interested in me accuse me of not being forward enough, or being a snob or a dick because I didn't hit on them. How's that shit work? Just cause I'm a guy I have to chase you are around like a fucking chimp and lay tons of rap? What if I just feel like hanging out with friends and getting fucked up and wait for you to talk to me? Why should I have to got out and figure out who's interested - let her come to me.

S(double standard)D

You make lewd comments about womens asses practically on a daily basis. Including the forty something with the hot bad and how she must be a vixen in bed. Thats a lewd comment.

And I seriously doubt any woman (well I can think of one or two actually, but they have *issues*) ever would say, "You didnt hit on me! You dick! You snob!" Why? For one it is a ridiculous thing to say. Its a rude thing to say. It assumes that you think you are really all that and a bag of chips to say that to a guy, while saying that really means that you know you are not all that and a bag of chips if you would actually say something like that to a guy. Lets face it- its psycho.

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

I agree with SD's criticism of your use of "class" distinctions in judging people, paigs. It's an outdated mode of classification and makes the person using it look like an ass. It's judgmental and, quite frankly, recockulous.

You claim old money people don't get their boobs done and do certain other things, but that is total bullshit. I mean, how the fuck do you explain the most recent installment of the Bachelor if that's true? And don't try to tell me it's because the Firestone's aren't "old money." In this young country, they're about as "old money" as you can get.

I'm not saying this proves "classy" people get boob jobs, I'm just saying the distinction between what "classy" people do and don't do is largely irrelevant in the 21st Century.