Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones!

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
I can't believe I'm answering this.

2.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Looks like the SC may have its first lesbian.

Not if Salmon Chase was, as I suspect, a bawdy vaudeville stage name.

Now Bushrod Washington --- there's a real man's man. Unrivaled until Harry Blackmun in the name department.

[Hank Chinaski]

Relieved of the whole battle of superpowers for world domination thing, the Russian Scientists* have been able to apply themselves to more practical pursuits:
http://english.pravda.ru/science/19/..._laughter.html

• According to Mr. Krishtafovich's theory, humor has always been around. Even in prehistoric times when man was just a few steps away from monkey. This is a prehistoric reaction on the level of reflex. Humankind has refined humor over thousands of years of history. Humor became more exquisite and complex. These days it is hard to make people laugh yet you can succeed if you follow the formula by Igor Krishtafovich. Using the formula, you can even find out whether your joke was good or not.
  
  "The formula is primarily for comedians, writers who write satirical pieces, and politicians. A good joke can effectively entice the voters. Sure thing, you should bear in mind the mood of an audience and complexity of a joke," says Mr. Krishtafovish
  
  The formula is as following:
  
  HE = PI x C/T + BM
  
  PI - personal involvement
  
  C - complexity of a joke. The higher degree of complexity the better provided that your audience can solve the problem within 1 or 2 seconds.
  
  T - time spent by a person solving a joke. The longer the time, the weaker the effect.
  
  BM - background mood. A joker can have an advantage if an audience enjoys the show. However, a real good joke can "blow up" the most dismal audience.
  
  HE - humor effectiveness.

* I know, I know, someone will post Igor Krishtafovich isn't a vegatable. I. Don't. Care.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by ironweed
Don't you ever get tired of being such a dweeb?

Only on the internet.

(This coming from the guy posting at 9:30 pm from work.)

TM

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
One and possibly more of those things is definitionally untrue of someone who is half Irish.

For my part, I do not get cold either.

She wasn't that fat.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Has anyone ever heard a coworker, uh, emit gas from his body (its always a him, right?) while at work?

Yes. If you know the guy, its like "Dude... wtf... I don't want to smell that." If you don't know him - or her - its uncomfortable as hell. You have to pretend you didn't hear it.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Her makeup appears to be tattooed on by Micahel Jackson's tattoo/makeup artist.

She reminds me of those scary "aging" photos at the dermo. Like, aging shrinks your lips, get collagen! Botox for those crows feet! Restalyn for those smilelines. Is this woman a heavy smooker and drinker?

She is SUCH a Harriet.

Thats Bush’s strategy - Schumer and that Kennedy who can’t drive drunk for shit can’t beat up on a feeble-looking old bitty like Harriet. I mean, shit... she’s even named like a grandmother. Who the fuck is named Harriet anymore? Laying a beatdown on Harriet during Senate hearings will look like a bunch of mean thugs gang raping Grandma Walton.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Thats Bush’s strategy - Schumer and that Kennedy who can’t drive drunk for shit can’t beat up on a feeble-looking old bitty like Harriet. I mean, shit... she’s even named like a grandmother. Who the fuck is named Harriet anymore? Laying a beatdown on Harriet during Senate hearings will look like a bunch of mean thugs gang raping Grandma Walton.

Now extrapolate how it looks when you're nasty to Spanky.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
FWIW, I have been naked in the sauna with several Kennedy cousins, platonically. NTTAWWT.

Really? You are aware of those stories about how JFK engaged in homosexual antics in the showers at Choate? You get any of that action in the sauna?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

"The Knicks will send forwards Tim Thomas and Mike Sweetney, and a first-round pick in the 2006 draft, to the Bulls, according to an Eastern Conference team executive who had knowledge of the deal. The Knicks will receive Curry, the veteran forward Antonio Davis and possibly draft picks. For salary-cap purposes, the Knicks will also sign and immediately trade guard Jermaine Jackson to Chicago.

Curry has shown immense promise in four seasons since going directly from high school to the N.B.A. in 2001. At 6 feet 11 inches and 285 pounds, he is strong and athletic and is generally regarded as one of the most talented young big men in the league. Curry averaged 16.1 points and 5.4 rebounds - in just 28.7 minutes a game - last season.

Even if he improves only modestly, Curry will be the most talented center the Knicks have had since Patrick Ewing was in his prime.

But Curry has an enlarged heart and an irregular heartbeat that caused him to miss the final 13 games last season and the playoffs. Curry may have a condition that could prove fatal."

If he lives, it would be a great deal for the Knicks.

TM

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
"The Knicks will send forwards Tim Thomas and Mike Sweetney, and a first-round pick in the 2006 draft, to the Bulls, according to an Eastern Conference team executive who had knowledge of the deal. The Knicks will receive Curry, the veteran forward Antonio Davis and possibly draft picks. For salary-cap purposes, the Knicks will also sign and immediately trade guard Jermaine Jackson to Chicago.

Curry has shown immense promise in four seasons since going directly from high school to the N.B.A. in 2001. At 6 feet 11 inches and 285 pounds, he is strong and athletic and is generally regarded as one of the most talented young big men in the league. Curry averaged 16.1 points and 5.4 rebounds - in just 28.7 minutes a game - last season.

Even if he improves only modestly, Curry will be the most talented center the Knicks have had since Patrick Ewing was in his prime.

But Curry has an enlarged heart and an irregular heartbeat that caused him to miss the final 13 games last season and the playoffs. Curry may have a condition that could prove fatal."

If he lives, it would be a great deal for the Knicks.

TM

Is he going to get insurance?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Is he going to get insurance?

The Knicks will have to figure out how to get that done without him taking the DNA test the insurance companies seem to be requiring.

TM

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
The Knicks will have to figure out how to get that done without him taking the DNA test the insurance companies seem to be requiring.

TM

I remember the Knicks. Someone let me know when they're relevant again.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Really? You are aware of those stories about how JFK engaged in homosexual antics in the showers at Choate? You get any of that action in the sauna?

Good question. No. There was a rumour that one of the boys (who was usually in the company of attractive chicks) was on the dl, sts, but I don't roll like that. NPI. NTTAWWT.

FWIW, ftr, I never sauna'd with Dr. WK Smith, MD, although we may have been at the gym at the same time a few times.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by ironweed
I remember the Knicks. Someone let me know when they're relevant again.

What's the prognosis on Ewings knees?