It's all about me - Page 19

NotFromHere · 07-14-2004, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Hey, I know Pittsburg and Philadelphia both start with a "P",but...

Speaking of Philly - Tommy Chong was on Leno the other night - and surprise appearance by Cheech. It was great. Tommy spent 9 months in prison for shipping a bong to Philly? He said when the DEA came to the house at 5 in the morning with flashlights - he said "if you're looking for the lightswitch, it's over there, man." He also said that only 2 states prosecute for shipping a bong over state lines and that Philly was one of them. He had shipped the bong to a DEA run head shop (don't go shopping there).
Leno said that only in America can you get 9 months for shipping a bong and no time for killing your wife.

Not Bob · 07-14-2004, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Truly horrific story of attempted fratricide of younger brother by older sister

And my family wonders why I am so fucked up. Not Nick alone sent me to the ER for stiches on my head at least five times that I can think of as I type this -- the baseball bat "accident" during Little League practice; the shove into the electric slot-car track after I had the audacity to beat him in a race; the shove down the stairs when I broke his red Rock'em Sock'em robot (ok, he gets mitigating factors on that one); the fall from the tree he told me to me to climb in a neighborhood game of hide and seek; and, of course, the infamous "attempted swirly" incident.

RT, call your brother and apologize. He'll appreciate it -- even if he doesn't believe it.

NotFromHere · 07-14-2004, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Fuck Ty, most of the ones you don't get are movie references. You don't ever recognize Godfather quotes. But rather than fight, lets see if we can agree on something.

Would you agree that you always understand nfh's (NFH dammit) posts? Of course, I mean this limited as to the substance.

What's not to get? I don't speak in code and movie references like some people. And why are we back on me again? And isn't it bad enough that you've taken the sight of one of the hive? Are you trying to destroy the collective?

Mister_Ruysbroeck · 07-14-2004, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I think he's a bit optimistic on how quickly he'll pick up and learn to type in braile. but he might be a quick study. I wonder what my voice will sound like if he gets himself a program to change posted words into sound. maybe I'm overanalyzing though.

I have returned from the dock whore and my voice recognition program is supposedly working lust mine. The dock whore insures me that my eyes will heel in a cup hold of weeks cents the sharp needle I stuck threw my eye pierced the cornea but did not damage any of the rods and cones on the beck of my I. Apparently, the cornea is the fastest healing port on the human bod he.

ABBAKiss · 07-14-2004, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
Apparently, the cornea is the fastest healing port on the human bod he.

I bet you learned this from the rude fats.

SlaveNoMore · 07-14-2004, 06:05 PM

Quote:

NotFromHere
Speaking of Philly - Tommy Chong was on Leno the other night - ...He also said that only 2 states prosecute for shipping a bong over state lines and that Philly was one of them.

How stoned is he that he thinks Philly is State?

NotFromHere · 07-14-2004, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
How stoned is he that he thinks Philly is State?

OK, he shipped to bong to Philly, Penn has the policy. I'm stoned OK? Plus he said he had drugs in the house but the DEA couldn't find it and didn't really bother to look. Odd.

Pretty Little Flower · 07-14-2004, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mister_Ruysbroeck
I have returned from the dock whore and my voice recognition program is supposedly working lust mine. The dock whore insures me that my eyes will heel in a cup hold of weeks cents the sharp needle I stuck threw my eye pierced the cornea but did not damage any of the rods and cones on the beck of my I. Apparently, the cornea is the fastest healing port on the human bod he.

I totally LOVE how the fake voice recognition program changed "doctor" into "dock whore"!!! Imagine if that happened in real life on a document you had to send to somebody important, like a brief about a medical practice issue. LOL!

dtb · 07-14-2004, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
When I took my LSAT, my morning coffee caught up with me during one of the games sections.

Thanks so much for sharing. No, really.

Quote:

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I didn't want to miss any time from the exam, but I had to pee so bad it was difficult to concentrate.

Oh. After I read the first sentence, I thought you were talking about "twosies" (a.k.a. poo) -- or as mr.dtb likes to refer to it, Akin Gump (because it sounds like "Takin' Dump" -- he's such a renaissance man...) -- but, alas, it was just onesies. So, not as bad as originally it appeared, but, still, it's hard to erase the image. So, again... thanks.

notcasesensitive · 07-14-2004, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
I totally LOVE how the fake voice recognition program changed "doctor" into "dock whore"!!! Imagine if that happened in real life on a document you had to send to somebody important, like a brief about a medical practice issue. LOL!

maybe Less wrote the voice recognition software.

Did you just call me Coltrane? · 07-14-2004, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
I totally LOVE how the fake voice recognition program changed "doctor" into "dock whore"!!! Imagine if that happened in real life on a document you had to send to somebody important, like a brief about a medical practice issue. LOL!

I can't imagine it. It would be funny infinitus. Even funnier than the patronizingly fake appreciation/continuation of a joke! Oh the comedy!

dtb · 07-14-2004, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Anne Elk
Ahh, no. Mullets are a definite turn off for me. I'll see if the Red Sox are interested. They seem to be having a collective "Bad Hair" season so a mullet will fit right in.

Day-um. No kidding. mr.dtb was just commenting the other day that he had to get a haircut, because he was coming perilously close to sporting a Manny Ramirez 'do.

Pretty Little Flower · 07-14-2004, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I can't imagine it. It would be funny infinitus. Even funnier than the patronizingly fake appreciation/continuation of a joke! Oh the comedy!

Exactly. I mean, what if . . .

Wait. One. Minute. Uh oh!! You cunning rascal!!! You turned my zinger back on me! OUCH!

Mister_Ruysbroeck · 07-14-2004, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I can't imagine it. It would be funny infinitus. Even funnier than the patronizingly fake appreciation/continuation of a joke! Oh the comedy!

Actually, I was a bit off. I should have typed "docked whore".

Not Bob · 07-14-2004, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dtb
Day-um. No kidding. mr.dtb was just commenting the other day that he had to get a haircut, because he was coming perilously close to sporting a Manny Ramirez 'do.

Speaking of haircuts, I was getting one yesterday when Gus the barber noted that I seemed to be spouting a few grey hairs. I gave my usual answer ("I don't care what color they are so long as they stick around" -- baldness is a genetic curse that plagues both sides of my family), and added that I assumed that my clients liked a little grey in their lawyer's hair.

Gus shook his head sadly, and told me that he his scissors had snipped many an artifically-tinted hair from the heads of local lawyers.

Is the use of professional grade Grecian Formula common among the fashionable male lawyers out there? Maybe I am just being silly, but I just can't imagine doing this.