Merry Generic Winter Day-Off With No Religious Content

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
I have been saving these up for a time like this:

Harry Balls
Dick Gzinya
Oliver Klosoff
Al Kaholic
Ben Dover or Eileen Dover
Mike Hunt
Adam Zapel
April Schauer

Back when I worked for a company with a self-proclaimed "witty and irreverent" culture, when I placed help-wanted ads, or recruiting notices at colleges, for part-time people who had to be smart, dynamic, and at least somewhat funny, I would use contact names as Ivana Cash, Juanita F. Goodman, etc.

We would actually use it as a screening tool. You could tell if someone was a good fit if they had a sense that the named recruiting contact might not actually exist. People who actually got offended by the fake name never made it past an interview.
Ah, I miss being so juvenile at work.

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Back when I worked for a company with a self-proclaimed "witty and irreverent" culture, when I placed help-wanted ads, or recruiting notices at colleges, for part-time people who had to be smart, dynamic, and at least somewhat funny, I would use contact names as Ivana Cash, Juanita F. Goodman, etc.

We would actually use it as a screening tool. You could tell if someone was a good fit if they had a sense that the named recruiting contact might not actually exist. People who actually got offended by the fake name never made it past an interview.
Ah, I miss being so juvenile at work.

Also, that's the great thing about flying Jet Blue:

The headphones go on the second I sit down and never come off.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by nononono
Relatively speaking, perhaps. I note you can hardly see her hands in that pic. Probably best.

Whiff?

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
Also, that's the great thing about flying Jet Blue:

The headphones go on the second I sit down and never come off.

I didn't think the story was THAT boring.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Ha. That's awesome! Poor people are so stupid.

TM

He was in an astrophysics Phd program. She'd rather he not talk because he rambled incessantly about string theory.




* Is there such thing as "astrophysics"?

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Sebby. You're pimpin for wonk now?

Some of us have to work a little harder. You have it easy with your whole Middle School thing going.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield



* Is there such thing as "astrophysics"?

I believe it has something to do with space-age dogs.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Whilst at ASU, did you go to the Dash Inn? Did you see me there? Did I spill my drink on you? If so, I apologize.

I didn't. And just my luck, my boys were hanging out with this dude named Shane, a light-skinned black dude who looked roughly 300 times better than me. And back then, there was only room for one black dude in that type of crowd.* That guy got laid. A lot.

TM

*My best friend didn't get it at first. He was like, "Yo! This place has like 500 hot girls, man!" I told him it wasn't like New York. When I took him to the one black club** in Tempe and every single girl ignored him and the black guys would look at him sideways for talking to one, he finally got it.

**By the time I get to Arizona, indeed.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
Obviously, you have never fucked a fat girl. The old rock n roll saying was "You ain't been fucked 'til you been fucked by a fat girl."

I haven't. Hard to believe that a hot, thin girl who wants to please you in every possible way would be worse than a fat girl. So, you're still going to have to do a better job explaining why they're so much better.

TM

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
It just looks that way because we're not hairy. Deforestation adds an inch

Which is why I stay waxed at all times.

[SlaveNoMore]

ThurgreedMarshall
I haven't. Hard to believe that a hot, thin girl who wants to please you in every possible way would be worse than a fat girl. So, you're still going to have to do a better job explaining why they're so much better.

TM

Because her sweatshirt will actually fit you - and you need a sweatshirt for those cold, pre-dawn, walks of shame?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Because her sweatshirt will actually fit you - and you need a sweatshirt for those cold, pre-dawn, walks of shame?

Those were never walks of shame. I'd proudly stumble forth... "Yeh, that's right. I had shitty bourbon sex last nite, what's it to you, fucko?"

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
Because her sweatshirt will actually fit you - and you need a sweatshirt for those cold, pre-dawn, walks of shame?

Your argument is as circular as your girlfriends. Isn't it only a walk of shame if the sweatshirt actually fits?

TM

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
Which is why I stay waxed at all times.

I keep a small stripper's diamond at the base. Because full waxing's creepy.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I haven't. Hard to believe that a hot, thin girl who wants to please you in every possible way would be worse than a fat girl.

TM

Because you'll buy that cow, and find yourself paying for diapers and a staggering mortgage down the road.