It's all about me

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
How in the fuck does that work with the regulator?

He doesn't spit. And yes, I know that's gross. And that he'll die of stomach cancer before he's 50. Leaving me a well-provided-for cougar, free to watch SportsCenter or travel to Caracas on a moment's notice.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
I'm now thinking your avatar should be replaced with Charlize in Monster.

"Sometimes what you hear in your head is just a plain old thought. It is neither interesting nor informative. You don't have to say it out loud. You don't have to post it. Just think it and shut the fuck up."
--- Jean Cocteau

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Did you tell them not to buy the books, but to find a good outline and start trying to take the tests each professor has on file now?

TM

These were my dos and don'ts to the law student:

• DO NOT buy the horn books. They're useless to you.
  
• DO look for the Emmanuels and/or Nutshell outlines for whatever books you've been assigned. They can be priceless to you.
  
• DO NOT listen to your professors when they tell you not to use commercial outlines. Commercial outlines can help you considerably, especially when your professor is being deliberately obtuse.
  
• DO try to create your own outline though, it's the process of developing the outline that helps you learn, not the finished product.
  
• DO try to find, as soon as you possibly can, copies of previous exams by the professor. Keep on retaking the exam as the semester goes on so you can see exactly what he or she is looking for.
  
• DO find a good system for taking notes as you read cases. I was a multiple colored pen person, but each person has their own way of taking notes. You're trying to figure out how to distill cases, so your note-taking method is dependent on how you think.
  
• DO think about forming a study group, but be wary of political traps. The politics of law school are amazing, especially after first semester grades come out and everyone's trying to figure out who is going to make law review.
  
• DO keep some sort of outside interest going, so you aren't too embroiled in law school. It's sad to say, but I'd estimate a good 70 percent of the marriages that started my law school class no longer exist. (note: law student is getting married right before law school starts)
  
• DO remember that with the exception of your legal research and writing class, most law school classes are focused on a single exam, and you are spending the semester preparing for that exam.
  
• DO remember that there is not a single lawyer out there that thought that their legal research and writing class was taught well.
  
• DO take advantage of your free Lexis and Westlaw accounts (note: some law schools don't give those accounts to 1Ls until the second semester on some antiquated theory that we should be able to go back to the books if we have to.)
  
• DO NOT read One L by Scott Turow. There is nothing in that book that is of any use to a 1L, except for terror.
  
• DO ask any of the (people in our ciricle of friends who are lawyers) you know for help. We remember (some of) the pain, and we'll be happy to impart our knowledge of what is really useful and what is just smoke and mirrors in law school. There are a lot of smoke and mirrors in law school.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
He doesn't spit. And yes, I know that's gross. And that he'll die of stomach cancer before he's 50. Leaving me a well-provided-for cougar, free to watch SportsCenter or travel to Caracas on a moment's notice.

Wow. He guts it? He's not messing around.

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
How in the fuck does that work with the regulator?

I hate to post on this boring subject, but I have to ask, what is it about tobacco chewing and scuba diving that makes you so enraged?

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
My husband does too. At work. Jumping out of an airplane. Scuba diving. To sleep. He almost always has a dip in. He would have had a dip in though our wedding ceremony if I hadn't told him I wouldn't kiss him with that shit in his mouth.

I note you don't say he does it during intercourse. If he does this might explain your fondness for the reverse cowgirl. But not your objection to fellatio friday.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan

[*]DO NOT read One L by Scott Turow. There is nothing in that book that is of any use to a 1L, except for terror.

Although it's a great example of how a lawyer can become a shitty writer.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
These were my dos and don'ts to the law student:

I prefer to be more succinct:

*DON'T go.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I note you don't say he does it during intercourse. If he does this might explain your fondness for the reverse cowgirl. But not your objection to fellatio friday.

If asparagus makes it taste bad, just think of what swallowing quarts of tobacco juice makes it taste like.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
I prefer to be more succinct:

*DON'T go.

That was my mantra from the time she was a freshman in college until last week, when she registered for classes. I even gave her a testimonial from the last pre-1L that ignored this advice. No good. She's going to have to learn on her own.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
These were my dos and don'ts to the law student:

This was the advice I gave to a friend three years ago:

[list=1][*]There is no such thing as a non-trick question.
[*]The Socratic Method is not an enterprise in group learning. It is a game of "Hide the Ball" that would be punished with violence if played in any self-regulating schoolyard. Don't ever be embarassed not to know the answer, because wrong answers slow the Socratic learning process down to a pace that can actually be withstood by its pupils and that actually fits the professor's secret reading schedule for the semester.
[*]Everything that seems incomprehensible will eventually be reduced down to an outline, usually just before the exam and sometimes just before The Exam. You will be forced to pay extra for this outline. This outline contains what you need to know for their purposes, so buy it. Corollary: Do not believe that this outline actually contains the law.
[*]Remember your job: Half the time you'll be looking for a reason the rule applies. The other half of the time you'll be looking for a reason the rule doesn't apply. You never know which side you're on until it's too late.
[*]Intelligence is necessary in law school, but law school does not reward it. It rewards compliance with an intellectual tradition. Intelligence gets you into law school; compliance gets you through it. (It's not as bad as it sounds, and will prepare you for the life you have chosen.)
[*]The most important class you will take is Legal Writing & Research, or whatever your school calls it. Corollary: Sadly and contrary to all reason, moot court is a ridiculous waste of time, but law review is not.
[*]When reading a case, remember that it's necessarily on appeal and what happened in the trial court matters, but was probably a close call. When in doubt, assume the trial court obtained real justice based on inadmissible evidence, and/or that the losing party or lawyer was an asshole and couldn't hide it. Assume that the appellate court always cares more about The Law than it does about the litigants or justice in the individual case. Corollary: Decisions in law school case books are almost always unjust, but produce sensible rules that are easily applied in other cases you don't have in your case book. They picked that particular case just to fuck with your mind, or because it was first, not because it's the best.
[*]There really is a difference between de novo review and the abuse of discretion review. However, the real-world application of this difference is known only to appellate justices. Corollary: Your law professor is not an appellate justice.
[*]All evidence to the contrary, the law is never intentionally dumb. If dumb, it will be construed narrowly and will naturally seek never to be applied, except by a contrarian professor who is jerking your chain.
[*]When you feel like you can't take it anymore, remember that there's nothing quite like standing in open court and introducing yourself. "Good morning, Your Honor. [Your Name Here] for the plaintiff." Corollary: Never never never never use "Esq." on your correspondence. Not even once. Not even as a joke.[/list=1]

Special bonus advice: Learn Community Property law, even if your state does not apply it. If married, live your life according to Community Property principles. Any other regime is barbarism.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
DO keep some sort of outside interest going, so you aren't too embroiled in law school. It's sad to say, but I'd estimate a good 70 percent of the marriages that started my law school class no longer exist. (note: law student is getting married right before law school starts)

frankly, it isn't always that sad for the people who were involved in those pre-law school marriages. or so I've heard.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
frankly, it isn't always that sad for the people who were involved in those pre-law school marriages. or so I've heard.

She's getting married in nine days, I couldn't crush her completely.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
This was the advice I gave to a friend three years ago:, including "Never never never never use "Esq." on your correspondence. Not even once. Not even as a joke."

What's up with that? I will never understand the obsession with that cursed pseudo-title.

ETA: every time I receive correspondence signed by "Asshole Lawyer, Esq." I immediately think "Bill S. Preston, Esquire". Not exactly the image that Asshole Lawyer wants to convey, I'm sure.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Is this maximum heartrate estimate of (220-your age) bullshit? Because if that is my maximum heart rate, today I went about 15 above it, so shouldn't I be dead?

I am just beginning this heart rate training and there is so much conflicting information. Perhaps there is a better board where I can ask this question.