Fashion Board 6-9-04 to 7-13-04

[Skeks in the city]

Originally posted by red red rum
With that in mind, I have now had the displeasure to catch more than a glimpse of this guy’s pimpled and pockmarked ghost-white hairy ass cheeks staring at me from the urinal stand. Did I mention he weighs about 350 pounds? What in the freaking hell is the deal with this? I do not get paid special wages for a psychologically hazardous job and should not have to be subjected to this. Certainly this cannot be acceptable professional behavior can it?

I wonder if anyone can think up a[n] idea of how to deal with this without impairing my career trajectory.

Why can't you just use the bathroom on the next floor? Do the stalls have glory holes?

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Skeks in the city
Why can't you just use the bathroom on the next floor? Do the stalls have glory holes?

You are so serious. "No black suits in the daytime. " "Actually, the hyphen rule is such-and-such." "Simply use another bathroom."

You are missing the point. Red red rum is not writing here because he wants a solution. He is doing it because he wants to connect with us, and he knows the way to do that is to entertain with an anecdote that illuminates the indignities of our shared profession.

Maybe he wants to connect because he likes people and has fun with words. Or maybe it's because he knows that over time, if he's amusing and clever enough, at the very least, somebody here will develop a crush on him, and at best, he'll get laid. Perhaps multiple times. Perhaps multiple times in one night, with either one or many FBetties. Yes, over time, the thrill will probably wear off, and he'll become bitter and laconic and pipe up only to demonstrate that he's obsessed with porn, or politics, or paigow, but he'll always be able to think fondly on the glory days, when he was wanted by the women and admired by the men.

Of course, it's possible he's married, in which case he knows that banging an FBetty isn't something he would actually do, but he takes comfort in knowing that, if only he were single, he could, because of the power of his wit, even though IRL, he is actually hot, and by the way, the fact that he posts here and flirts with the Betties in no way reflects on the state of his relationship, but rather reflects that his job is really fucking boring.

So, my question for you, skekky mcskeks a lot, is, why do YOU post here?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by the Spartan
Uhm, I don't think the board should take this post seriously.

Quite clearly Hank is pulling our leg here, right Encyclopedia? Sally?

And Hank, no offence, but if you must relay this type of stuff, or worse the other "topic", let's keep it to the board and off of my PM box, okay?

If you were to drink some of my urine you'll be less mean and smarter than you are; not as nice or as smart as me, but moving in that direction, but, of course, we already have Thurgreed.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Maybe he wants to connect because he likes people and has fun with words. Or maybe it's because he knows that over time, if he's amusing and clever enough, at the very least, somebody here will develop a crush on him, and at best, he'll get laid. Perhaps multiple times. Perhaps multiple times in one night, with either one or many FBetties. Yes, over time, the thrill will probably wear off, and he'll become bitter and laconic and pipe up only to demonstrate that he's obsessed with porn, or politics, or paigow, but he'll always be able to think fondly on the glory days, when he was wanted by the women and admired by the men.

Good thing some of us have fun with words. Zygote -- there's a fun one. And Guam.

Of course, it's possible he's married, in which case he knows that banging an FBetty isn't something he would actually do, but he takes comfort in knowing that, if only he were single, he could, because of the power of his wit, even though IRL, he is actually hot, and by the way, the fact that he posts here and flirts with the Betties in no way reflects on the state of his relationship, but rather reflects that his job is really fucking boring.

Some comfort, I tell you what.

[lookingformarket]

Originally posted by Mr. Man
I will say that following a 45 minute debate with a room of i-bankers (check that out) it was decided that "wholly owned" has no hypen. An EDGAR search gives a balance of both styles.

You mean "the i-bankers decided that there was no hyphen and then left with the client to go have dinner, drinks, and strippers while the lawyers went through the 200 page document by hand to ensure that there were no other unnecessary hyphens", right?

[lookingformarket]

Originally posted by red red rum
Okay, former infrequent infirm poster semi lurker first time poster here with a weird workplace situation.

Recently lateraled to a new firm and for the second time in a month I walked into the men’s room to find a relatively senior partner at one of the urinals with his trousers and boxers pulled all the way down, taking a pisser. Now for the uninitiated here, like those of you blessed with vaginas or the few dandy-boys who pee seated, guys don’t pull their trousers down to pee. We unzip them, pull it out the fly hole and whiz, with the notable exceptions being young boys just learning the ropes and kids who take the short bus, both of which groups have special dispensation to drop trou to pee.

With that in mind, I have now had the displeasure to catch more than a glimpse of this guy’s pimpled and pockmarked ghost-white hairy ass cheeks staring at me from the urinal stand. Did I mention he weighs about 350 pounds?
Help, please.

There is nothing you can do. The guy has his pants pulled down b/c he is so fat that he can't get his dick out through the zipper b/c he has lost so many inches. Not generally a good idea to point out to senior partners that they have small dicks.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Good thing some of us have fun with words. Zygote -- there's a fun one. And Guam.

Is that the best you can do? I watched Spellbound this evening, and you're going to have to do better to this to compete for women with the Harry Altmans of the world.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Is that the best you can do? I watched Spellbound this evening, and you're going to have to do better to this to compete for women with the Harry Altmans of the world.

If I ever get divorced I'm definitely going have to read Reader's Digest It Pays To Increase Your Word Power (tm) when I'm sitting on the can to regain my edge.

[patentparanyc]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Jason Giambi has a hygiene problem.

spree: ESPN

I know you don't respond to posters *who shall not be named, but rumor has it he's going though 'roid withdrawal, not this intestinal parasite shite, no pun intended.

Matters little, Yanks spanked Boston anyway tonight. Can't wait to watch the rest of that series and then the Subway Series.

[patentparanyc]

Originally posted by red red rum
Okay, former infrequent infirm poster semi lurker first time poster here with a weird workplace situation.

Recently lateraled to a new firm and for the second time in a month I walked into the men’s room to find a relatively senior partner at one of the urinals with his trousers and boxers pulled all the way down, taking a pisser. Now for the uninitiated here, like those of you blessed with vaginas or the few dandy-boys who pee seated, guys don’t pull their trousers down to pee. We unzip them, pull it out the fly hole and whiz, with the notable exceptions being young boys just learning the ropes and kids who take the short bus, both of which groups have special dispensation to drop trou to pee.

With that in mind, I have now had the displeasure to catch more than a glimpse of this guy’s pimpled and pockmarked ghost-white hairy ass cheeks staring at me from the urinal stand. Did I mention he weighs about 350 pounds? What in the freaking hell is the deal with this? I do not get paid special wages for a psychologically hazardous job and should not have to be subjected to this. Certainly this cannot be acceptable professional behavior can it?

I mentioned this to one of the other associates who does not seem like a backstabber and he too has seen the dark side of the moon and the word in the firm is that this guy has a medically diagnosed phobia of urine and fears any backsplash on his clothing. While I think this is psychobabble b.s., that’s fine if he believes it but then take your fat ass into a stall and spare the rest of us.

So long story short, I don’t know what to do or what I can do but I can’t bear the thought of being exposed to this guy’s ass on any periodic basis and while I would love to walk in on him and ask what the fuck he is thinking and perhaps even plant the sole side of my Kenneth Coles in his butt, I really don’t have a career death wish. Yet.

So I am thinking of either going to a website that sends anon emails to people with hygiene problems, although I doubt seriously if there is a standard “dude, stop showing me your bare ass when you pee” email; or sending the HR administrator an anon email pointing out the problem and maybe noting that this is a hostile workplace type of scenario, i.e. harassment.

Knowing that the crowd here is fairly racy and rude I wonder if anyone can think up a better idea of how to deal with this without impairing my career trajectory.

Help, please.

Sounds like me with the guy who his office is near me and he burps loudly all day. I pretend like I don't hear it. What else can you do with such bizarre behavior? Between that and the people that take their shoes off in the heat of the summer and prop them on the desk, I enjoy a very festive work environment. very ripe.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
If I ever get divorced I'm definitely going have to read Reader's Digest It Pays To Increase Your Word Power (tm) when I'm sitting on the can to regain my edge.

All this will achieve for you is a fleeting glimpse of Sidd's wang. Trust me on this.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
All this will achieve for you is a fleeting glimpse of Sidd's wang. Trust me on this.

No, it won't. Trust me on this.

[Darth Bader Ginsburg]

Originally posted by patentparanyc
I enjoy a very festive work environment. very ripe.

Bunch of fats?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Don't count on Sebby to protect you when the angry mob figures out what you're doing. First off, he's probably too scrawny, and second, he'll be too busy stealing your cab.

Just out of curiosity, how on earth can you infer from my board persona that I'd be scrawny IRL? I understand LTL's belief that I'm ugly and short, as my posts could be construed to come from a rather aesthetically unpleasant person, but scrawny? That's something I've never been called. I'm not offended, just curious.

For your edification, I'm neither large nor small. 6'1-2 (wife tells people I'm 6'2, but I think its more 6'1) 180-185 lb average caucasian Northeastern/Midatlantic male variety.

AND I HAVE STOPPED STEALING FUCKING CABS. In the pantheon of boorish behavior I celebrate (the majority of which is not my own, mind you), that venial sin is hardly worth all the harping you've given it.

[dtb]

Originally posted by the Spartan
I'm a J.D. not an M.D. but isn't urine sterile? What's there to be scared of?

You're joking, right?