General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq.

Originally posted by robustpuppy
She's getting to be more of a little kid and less of a baby already. Waah!

The only way to stop it is to have another one. And another one....

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Trepidation_Mom
You people have dirty minds.
Maybe my kid is willful and won't eat anything else (an affliction my sister had for about 3 years)? Maybe he's got a babysitter who doesn't know? Maybe we haven't been able to go grocery shopping for 2 weeks and there is nothing else in the house? Maybe we aren't aware that something contains peanuts?

Maybe I forgot?

You can't micromanage the rest of the world. School policy & enforcement notwithstanding, you can't rely on it. Ultimately, one way or the other, you've just got to deal.

These are two different points -- I am talking only about your convenience, not the other parents' reliance on your taking measures to help them out. But really, is it that hard to do so? (Putting aside forgetting or not knowing about peanut ingredients.) Of course the parents have to deal with the problem -- in every context, not just in school, and whether or not any other parent or any other person wants to take a relatively simple step to try to avoid a problem that for some people is serious. But your position really seems to be that they can suck it because it's too much trouble for you.

My point is that, your dramatic litany of reasons notwithstanding, it can't be so difficult to avoid sending your kid to school with PB that it's necessary to present the issue initially as if your kid has a *right* to eat the PB&J at school.

Now I'm hungry for a Snickers.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Great.

and what about the (robust) puppies?

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
and what about the (robust) puppies?

Being summoned. It's happy hour at Hooters.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Being summoned. It's happy hour at Hooters.

Say hi to Sven for me.

I'm not really sure why school needs to be different from any other place in the world. If a kid has a life-threatening allergy, he needs to learn to do what's necessary to protect himself, whether that means not sharing food with other kids or not sharing saliva with other kids or washing hands regularly or whatever. Outside of a very very few cases, this is something that can be adequately controlled by the allergic kid and his parents. Putting those rare cases aside, it seems to me the height of selfishness to ask hundreds of other families to inconvenience themselves so that your kid can delay learning something that he needs to learn for his own safety anyway.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by credit this
I'm not really sure why school needs to be different from any other place in the world. If a kid has a life-threatening allergy, he needs to learn to do what's necessary to protect himself, whether that means not sharing food with other kids or not sharing saliva with other kids or washing hands regularly or whatever. Outside of a very very few cases, this is something that can be adequately controlled by the allergic kid and his parents. Putting those rare cases aside, it seems to me the height of selfishness to ask hundreds of other families to inconvenience themselves so that your kid can delay learning something that he needs to learn for his own safety anyway.

Training a 3 yo to stick himself with an epipen should be easy.

I'm no fan of inconveniencing many to benefit a few, but a classmate of mine died from anaphylactic shock (or cardiac arrest as a result) from, apparently, shaking the hand of someone who had been eating peanuts earlier that evening. He was in his 30s and aware of his allergy. So it's not just a "buck up camper" issue.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by credit this
I'm not really sure why school needs to be different from any other place in the world. If a kid has a life-threatening allergy, he needs to learn to do what's necessary to protect himself, whether that means not sharing food with other kids or not sharing saliva with other kids or washing hands regularly or whatever. Outside of a very very few cases, this is something that can be adequately controlled by the allergic kid and his parents. Putting those rare cases aside, it seems to me the height of selfishness to ask hundreds of other families to inconvenience themselves so that your kid can delay learning something that he needs to learn for his own safety anyway.

Life is so hard. Imagine coping with the inconvenience of not bringing peanut butter to school.

It takes a fucking village, indeed.

[Trepidation_Mom]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Life is so hard. Imagine coping with the inconvenience of not bringing peanut butter to school.

It takes a fucking village, indeed.

PB restrictions aren't a debilitating inconvenience (though it is, frankly, a significant one if you have kids who like PB), and, overall, I don't have a personal problem with making a good-faith effort not to do things that I know will put others into life-threatening jeapardy. And, yes, it is clearly hoping too much to think a 5 year old can effectively safeguard against the threat of the omni-present peanut (though the teachers should really be given charge of the epi pens).

But I don't think the "limiting the many for the benefit of the few" and the inability to rely on those limitations are really separate issues. If enforcement is fundamentally a hopeless cause, there is little gain to justify the restrictions. I object to the inconvenience because it doesn't really help.

I hate to think what our lives will be like once this precedent is set - soon no one will be permitted to have family pets so their kids don't transport dander to trigger asthma attacks. Or flowering houseplants, for that matter. Then again, as Burger's story illustrates, maybe some people are just doomed.

[original Hank@judged.com]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Training a 3 yo to stick himself with an epipen should be easy.

I'm no fan of inconveniencing many to benefit a few, but a classmate of mine died from anaphylactic shock (or cardiac arrest as a result) from, apparently, shaking the hand of someone who had been eating peanuts earlier that evening. He was in his 30s and aware of his allergy. So it's not just a "buck up camper" issue.

this rings true.

Another true story, my ex-aunt, the actress, had a friend who had a shrimp allergy. Had sex, unprotected, with a man who had eaten shrimp earlier that day, and died from it. On the other hand, I had a housemate my first year of lawshool who took ecstasy and when he was at the plateau of exing, I guess, he screamed at all of us with him to back off and not to touch him cause he might shatter. apparently he thought he was a ice sculpture. another housemate's fiance touched him. he didn't break.

[viet_mom]

Originally posted by Trepidation_Mom
You people have dirty minds.
Maybe my kid is willful and won't eat anything else (an affliction my sister had for about 3 years)? Maybe he's got a babysitter who doesn't know? Maybe we haven't been able to go grocery shopping for 2 weeks and there is nothing else in the house? Maybe we aren't aware that something contains peanuts?

Maybe I forgot?

You can't micromanage the rest of the world. School policy & enforcement notwithstanding, you can't rely on it. Ultimately, one way or the other, you've just got to deal.

I think parents know their kid could die anyway even though school policy says "no peanuts" but I would think a kid would have a greater chance of living longer if he wasn't exposed to peanut butter sandwiches 5 days a week. I think you said later that why bother if it is not going to make a difference, but I would guess the no-peanuts policy has helped a lot of kids. I think when the allergies are life-threatening, the parents do try to micromanage as long as they can and I think I would too. With 2 goals: one, that my child will outgrow the severity of it in a few years (that is apparently the case for many). Two, if they don't, then prolonging their lives as long as I can. Micromanaging would suck and parents would hate me, but I would do everything I could to see that peanuts are far away from her and keep her alive as long as possible. Yes, she may die at 25 from kissing a guy who had peanuts, but I just couldn't throw in the towel knowing this could happen. When the allergy is that bad, there doesn't seem to be a "middle ground" between (1) putting the kid in a roomful of peanuts so he'll either get used to them or just die already; and (2) micromanaging to keep peanuts totally away.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by viet_mom
I think parents know their kid could die anyway even though school policy says "no peanuts" but I would think a kid would have a greater chance of living longer if he wasn't exposed to peanut butter sandwiches 5 days a week. I think you said later that why bother if it is not going to make a difference, but I would guess the no-peanuts policy has helped a lot of kids. I think when the allergies are life-threatening, the parents do try to micromanage as long as they can and I think I would too. With 2 goals: one, that my child will outgrow the severity of it in a few years (that is apparently the case for many). Two, if they don't, then prolonging their lives as long as I can. Micromanaging would suck and parents would hate me, but I would do everything I could to see that peanuts are far away from her and keep her alive as long as possible. Yes, she may die at 25 from kissing a guy who had peanuts, but I just couldn't throw in the towel knowing this could happen. When the allergy is that bad, there doesn't seem to be a "middle ground" between (1) putting the kid in a roomful of peanuts so he'll either get used to them or just die already; and (2) micromanaging to keep peanuts totally away.

Home-school.

[viet_mom]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Home-school.

You're not kiddin. If I knew the allergy was that unforgiving, I'd be home-schooling for sure. Would be difficult in my case since I'm single. I guess I'd find a hubby with a salary in a rush. Or beg for hand-outs.

(Or maybe the peanut butter-lovers could start a fund for us).

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by viet_mom
You're not kiddin. If I knew the allergy was that unforgiving, I'd be home-schooling for sure. Would be difficult in my case since I'm single. I guess I'd find a hubby with a salary in a rush. Or beg for hand-outs.

(Or maybe the peanut butter-lovers could start a fund for us).

Oh. Nanny/governess/tutor.

Seriously, if it's really that serious, it seems like you gotta go bubble-boy.

[viet_mom]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Oh. Nanny/governess/tutor.

Seriously, if it's really that serious, it seems like you gotta go bubble-boy.

No, I'm lucky - Vietbabe has no allergies I know of (yay, I luv PB&J sammiches). I posted asking about a family who put their kiddo in a private kiddie school after the school said it had a no-peanuts policy. The kid got serious asthema and other stuff and then they found out there was a "peanut butter eating" table inches from the kid and in this daycare like room, it's pretty much guaranteed their child was slathered in it too - they share all the toys, wash hands together, table hop and smack each other upside the head during lunch (the usual).

Though having a "Governess" would sound very cool. Too bad I don't speak the King's English (hi Hank!) and have no rose garden.