It's all about me

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
Anyone who knows me in real life will tell you i don't say this often: Dude, slow down!


I have been told, and it works for me, to honk your horn when you see a squirrel on a suicide mission. THey can process the sound and run from it faster than they can process the speeding object.

Under all circumstances I was traveling within the speed limit. I would only exceed the speed limit to hit a bunny.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by people who care
We have been reading your work for almost 3400 posts and the only funny thing we recall you saying is "that's like Jack and Diane without the claps" and we suspect that you did not invent that, so when you say "originial", remember Glass Houses.

Before this post, you struck me as more of a 52nd Street fan. Or maybe The Nylon Curtain.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Jesus_Just_Left_Chicago
Word from the wise. If you are going to get into a flame war with a sock, it is ill advised to lose the flame war. Why not take a few minutes and come back with something at least a little bit clever? Chevy Chase? Not funny.

God Bless You and Sequels. I look forward to many young, bland, unfunny midwesterettes in the future.

National Lampoon's Connecticut Vacation 6

Plot line: She's getting married! Sick of Dead shows and grayer than a London morning in October, Chevyette finally is going to get ass-fucked by someone she actually knows. And this time it's legit. Will Glenn go through with the wedding knowing how old she is??

Starring:
--That old broad from Titanic as Chevyette
--Margaret Cho as her hilarious friend Jill
--Gallagher as her fiance Glenn
--Ted McGinley as the President of the Greek Council and arch-enemy Stan Gable
--dozens and doezens of cats

[sunnybunny]

Originally posted by spookyfish
Under all circumstances I was traveling within the speed limit. I would only exceed the speed limit to hit a bunny.

So, you're one of the like 10% who actually obeys the speed limit? Some how I don't think that's a normal characteristic for a self-proclaimed rageaholic.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
So, you're one of the like 10% who actually obeys the speed limit? Some how I don't think that's a normal characteristic for a self-proclaimed rageaholic.

Oh my god. It's like knowing that a horrible accident is about to happen. I find that I cannot make myself look away, even though I know what I am about to see is going to be so, so ugly...

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by spookyfish
Under all circumstances I was traveling within the speed limit. I would only exceed the speed limit to hit a bunny.

Apropos of that (and this is, unlike much of my oeuvre, an Absolutely True Story), I stopped the Not Bobmobile on the morning commute to move a turtle out of the road. Rather than pulling its cute little head inside its shell, the turtle hissed and tried to snap my fingers off when I bent down to pick it up, scaring the bejezus out of me, and making the lady in the minivan who stopped behind me laugh.

I screwed my courage up to the sticking point, though, picked up the ungrateful little bastard, and got it out of harm's way.

I think that if there was going to be a race, this turtle would so kick the rabbit's ass at the starting line that it would win by default. And that I should get some serious karmic brownie points for not letting it become roadkill after it tried to eat my hands.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Apropos of that (and this is, unlike much of my oeuvre, an Absolutely True Story), I stopped the Not Bobmobile on the morning commute to move a turtle out of the road. Rather than pulling its cute little head inside its shell, the turtle hissed and tried to snap my fingers off when I bent down to pick it up, scaring the bejezus out of me, and making the lady in the minivan who stopped behind me laugh.

I screwed my courage up to the sticking point, though, picked up the ungrateful little bastard, and got it out of harm's way.

I think that if there was going to be a race, this turtle would so kick the rabbit's ass at the starting line that it would win by default. And that I should get some serious karmic brownie points for not letting it become roadkill after it tried to eat my hands.

Heh. My brother once rescued a similar turtle from the top of a fence post. Apparently another rescuer had come, found the turtle less than grateful, and decided to teach the turtle a lesson about manners. My brother said it wasn't particularly contrite when he came along and helped it down to the ground.

[Dave]

I didn't know Fringe was festive. Good times.

What: The 11th annual Minnesota Fringe Festival

Traditional theater is to the Minnesota Fringe Festival as skim milk is to Red Bull.

What — other than the fact that you can see seven shows in a single day — makes the Fringe Festival so intense? Here's a quick list:

Show titles: The 176 shows in this year's festival have titles that play on pop culture ("If I Don't Marry Davy Jones, I'll Just Die"), that are comical ("Does This Monologue Make Me Look Fat?"), nonsensical ("Please Don't Eat the Dogs") and vaguely obscene-sounding ("A Year in the Life of Slippery Goodstuff"). Where else but the Fringe will you a find a show about artists Salvador Dali, Luis Bunuel and Federico Garcia Lorca with the title "The Great Masturbators"?

...

[Dave]

What came to your mind when you saw the Audrey Seiler kidnap hoax unfold? If you said lighthearted hijinx, you are NOT alone!

Madison playwright John Sable saw potential for comedy and social commentary. His "Audrey Seiler, Where Are You?" was described by a local critic who attended opening night a week ago as "an entertaining romp with Madison's adopted reality television star."

[Dave]

Former Mrs. Minnesota beauty queen found guilty of defrauding Social Security of $194,000

Only posted b/c she kind of looks like Martha Stewart. Another domestic diva is comin' to the Big House near you!

[Atticus Grinch]

The owner of the "helper monkey" who bit 2-year-old Tommy Romano at a Brooklyn grocery is a total faker, say neighbors.



I’ve seen a lot of spinals, Dude, and this guy is a fake. A fucking goldbricker.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
The owner of the "helper monkey" who bit 2-year-old Tommy Romano at a Brooklyn grocery is a total faker, say neighbors.



I’ve seen a lot of spinals, Dude, and this guy is a fake. A fucking goldbricker.

Jesus. I don't think that's a real monkey, either. It looks like a dog on a leash. Where's Flinty when you need his expertise?

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Jesus. I don't think that's a real monkey, either. It looks like a dog on a leash. Where's Flinty when you need his expertise?

Ty, you have a very sharp eye. That is not a monkey. I ran a full diagnostic on her and she is 100% canine. Well, she had a little monkey in her too at one point, but it wasn't permanent. Now, it's back to work.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
The owner of the "helper monkey" who bit 2-year-old Tommy Romano at a Brooklyn grocery is a total faker, say neighbors.



I’ve seen a lot of spinals, Dude, and this guy is a fake. A fucking goldbricker.

Wow, I have asthma on occasion and poor circulation - I should probably get my own attack macaque.

[NotFromHere]

Personally, I don't care whether they're in color or not. They're just not funny.

Sony’s Columbia TriStar home-video unit is releasing two Three Stooges DVDs that allow viewers to watch the original black-and-white or digitally colorized versions.

Purists consider it desecration, while Sony executives say the process can help introduce Hollywood classics to young audiences reluctant to watch anything in black and white.

The new Stooges DVDs, “Goofs on the Loose” and “Stooged and Confoosed,” contain four shorts each featuring Moe and Curly Howard and Larry Fine.

Roger Ebert says that colorization is a form of vandalism.
Of course, who cares what he thinks?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5651949/