Fringey's taut-abbed painter

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
I'd formally respond with pleadings and alternative defenses (including, I may add, that you lumped in 6 or 7 of Penske's other socks with my various aliases)...

... but I won't bother, since this administrative body has never recognized the "International Criminal Tribunal" as a legitimate venue.

Start preparing your affirmative defenses. We have your ass now!



(Picture courtesy of Chinaski Productions)

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter

(Picture courtesy of Chinaski Productions)

Note- Chinaski Productions is non-political and takes no position in the current strife. It is a war profiteer certainly, and open for any assignments.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Note- Chinaski Productions is non-political and takes no position in the current strife. It is a war profiteer certainly, and open for any assignments.

• Randal: So they build another Death Star, right?
  Dante: Yeah.
  Randal: Now the first one they built was completed and fully operational before the Rebels destroyed it.
  Dante: Luke blew it up. Give credit where it's due.
  Randal:And the second one was still being built when they blew it up.
  Dante: Compliments of Lando Calrissian.
  Randal: Something just never sat right with me the second time they destroyed it. I could never put my finger on it-something just wasn't right.
  Dante: And you figured it out?
  Randal: Well, the thing is, the first Death Star was manned by the Imperial army-storm troopers, dignitaries- the only people onboard were Imperials.
  Dante: Basically.
  Randal: So when they blew it up, no prob. Evil is punished.
  Dante: And the second time around...?
  Randal: The second time around, it wasn't even finished yet. They were still under construction.
  Dante: So?
  Randal: A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.
  Dante: Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at.
  Randal: Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.
  Dante: All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction?
  Randal: All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed- casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. (notices Dante's confusion) All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia-this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.
  (The Blue-Collar Man (Thomas Burke) joins them.)
  Blue-Collar Man: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but what were you talking about?
  Randal: The ending of Return of the Jedi.
  Dante: My friend is trying to convince me that any contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when the space station was destroyed by the rebels.
  Blue-Collar Man: Well, I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer... (digs into pocket and produces business card) Dunn and Reddy Home Improvements. And speaking as a roofer, I can say that a roofer's personal politics come heavily into play when choosing jobs.
  Randal: Like when?
  Blue-Collar Man: Three months ago I was offered a job up in the hills. A beautiful house with tons of property. It was a simple reshingling job, but I was told that if it was finished within a day, my price would be doubled. Then I realized whose house it was.
  Dante: Whose house was it?
  Blue-Collar Man: Dominick Bambino's.
  Randal: "Babyface" Bambino? The gangster?
  Blue-Collar Man: The same. The money was right, but the risk was too big. I knew who he was, and based on that, I passed the job on to a friend of mine.
  Dante: Based on personal politics.
  Blue-Collar Man: Right. And that week, the Foresci family put a hit on Babyface's house. My friend was shot and killed. He wasn't even finished shingling.
  Randal: No way!
  Blue-Collar Man: (paying for coffee) I'm alive because I knew there were risks involved taking on that particular client. My friend wasn't so lucky. (pauses to reflect) You know, any contractor willing to work on that Death Star knew the risks. If they were killed, it was their own fault. A roofer listens to this... (taps his heart) not his wallet.

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Chronology of MIT student pranks. {Spree: some of these will actually cause revulsion and pity.}

I know the perpetrators of several of these hacks, but because none of them are particularly interesting, I will refrian from identifying them. Thanks for reminding me my friends are dweebs.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Does Hank have a conscience?

The shingle supplier is still alive though, right? Oh, and cash in advance.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
The shingle supplier is still alive though, right? Oh, and cash in advance.

See, I'd a thunk the response would be: "Subcontractors."

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Chronology of MIT student pranks. {Spree: some of these will actually cause revulsion and pity.}

Or bafflement. If it doesn't involve a dead, violated, missing or stolen mascot of a rival college, the point of these "pranks" are somewhat difficult for me to follow.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter



(Picture courtesy of Chinaski Productions)

I think I've just witnessed yet another sign of the apocalypse.

[Shape Shifter]

For those of you friendless and dateless on NYE, looking forward to ringing in the New Year at home alone, again, with nothing to do but contemplate the meaninglessness of your existence, if you're looking for something to read, I heartily recommend The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World by Atticus Gri . . . er, by A.J. Jacobs.

In TKIA, the author, a senior editor at Esquire (whose father, Arnold Jacobs, has published 24 books on securities law, for those of you interested in law), recounts his efforts reading through all 33,000 pages -- from a-ak to zywiec -- of the Encyclopaedia Britannica. Of course, he shares many of the exciting things he learns with you, like the origins of fondue and of bunch of people who died of syphillis. But like all great books, it's funny as well. Jon Stewart says of the book "The Know-It-All is a hilarious book and quite an impressive achievement. I've always said, why doesn't someone put out a less complete version of the encyclopedia? Well done, A.J."

Lawtalkers amazon link here: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...books&n=507846

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
For those of you friendless and dateless on NYE,

Not me. Fringey is flying in. She insists on attending a big Hotel bar party in the Arabic part of Dearborn- she just came up with the idea yesterday-not sure where it came from.

Happy New Year to all, and thank you all for helping me pass some hours, and helping me to know much more useless trivia.

Oh, and a special thank you to d., for helping make my writing what it has become.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Has anyone ever been to an FL show? I'm just now watching them on ACL on PBS, and the energy seems to be they're one band geek short of becoming the Polyphonic Spree. I like their music, but their stage presence is off-putting. Prop comics are vilified; why aren't prop indie rock acts? Can a guy continue to have credibility when he puts fake blood on his head for a cover of "War Pigs"? (Ancillary question: can you take a woman seriously who takes the stage name "Cat Power"?)

In fairness to the Lips, and in deference to the tryannical chronological nature of our existence, I think a more accurate statement would be that Tim DeLaughter is one acid trip short of being Wayne Coyne. Or at least he seems to think so.

Ancillary Answer: I like Cat Power, for the most part, and have never been offput by the name. Rather, I have been offput by her "I'm so fragile, I could run off the stage weeping if anything startles me" stage presence.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
1. Ha.

2. Did they forget and show up at the Rose Bowl by mistake?

3. Were they too busy whining about the Rose Bowl to prepare for a middle-of-the-road team from the Big XII South?

4. Will the Pac 10 win a bowl game this year?

5. Sorry, Flinty.

6. Ass-fucking.

To be a Cal fan is to be a masochist. Flat out outplayed.

[Gattigap]

Defamer brings us the good news amidst all the bad:

• I've always been one to look for the silver lining, but it's taken a few days to find the good news in the tsunami. Finally, the answer comes: those pre-preview Fanta commercials which seemingly play in every theater before every single film, featuring four lithe, prancing she-whores. These four wriggling, thirst-quenching, multi-culti vixens are getting the bloody hell booed out of them in the theaters now, as they embarrassingly endorse a "tidal wave of flavor." D'oh! There are rumors of an anti-Fanta campaign being mounted, and we imagine Coca-Cola execs are crapping themselves as they rush to pull the ads.
  
  Marketers using tidal wave, earthquake, and burning-orphanage metaphors in their campaigns might be advised to think twice—sooner or later, Mother Nature will bite your lackluster efforts in the ass. See ya, nightmarish Fanta girls! Enjoy your careers in Cinemax soft-core.

[dumpy]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Not me. Fringey is flying in. yadayadayada

Oh, and a special thank you to d., for helping make my writing what it has become.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
serial links

Translation: I got Wi-Fi access in the can for Christmas, and my in-laws finally went home.