imaginary friends to fill the void that is your gaping gash.

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I clicked on HBO at about 11 PM last night, and it's running a show called "Pornocopia." It was a behind the scenes look at women-on-women porn...that is it was women-on-women until I clicked to ESPN News, clicked back to HBO and saw some guy with another guy's nutsack in his mouth. I don't think I'm homophobic, but I still think I need some kind of warning for this.

You arent into teabaggin? Its delicious!

but why didi you turn off the gal on gal stuff? Are you a gay?

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Fuck me? Fuck you. Fuck all of you. You don't understand me.

Lets just say I have had the sort of week that makes one contemplate heroin use.

I feel very fragile at the moment.

Poor sebby. Take my advice, and follow my lead -- go have a bacon cheeseburger for lunch. The day will seem a little bit brighter.

I'm feeling a bit low myself. The Piggly-Wiggly Plaza feels a bit lonely today because Wanda, Big Ed, and his brother Big Earl are all out ice fishing on Lake Podunk. I was invited, but had to decline because I was scheduled to depose a "medical" expert this afternoon. The bastard's secretary just called to tell me that a patient emergency came up, and he had to reschedule. What kind of "patient emergencies" come up for a fricken chiropractor?

So I shall go to the Dew Drop Inn and get a bacon cheeseburger, watch SportsCenter, and drink a Rolling Rock or two. My afternoon is unexpectedly open, and I will try to make the best of it.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
You arent into teabaggin? Its delicious!

but why didi you turn off the gal on gal stuff? Are you a gay?

It was more documentary than porn. I don't give a shit what the "director" has to say.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Poor sebby. Take my advice, and follow my lead -- go have a bacon cheeseburger for lunch. The day will seem a little bit brighter.

I'm feeling a bit low myself. The Piggly-Wiggly Plaza feels a bit lonely today because Wanda, Big Ed, and his brother Big Earl are all out ice fishing on Lake Podunk. I was invited, but had to decline because I was scheduled to depose a "medical" expert this afternoon. The bastard's secretary just called to tell me that a patient emergency came up, and he had to reschedule. What kind of "patient emergencies" come up for a fricken chiropractor?

So I shall go to the Dew Drop Inn and get a bacon cheeseburger, watch SportsCenter, and drink a Rolling Rock or two. My afternoon is unexpectedly open, and I will try to make the best of it.

NotBob, the Podunk bit is getting tired.

TM

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Too true. Too true. I tested the digital camera by taking pictures of my wife. Excellent.

She took pictures of me. Not excellent. I honestly don't know why she fucks me.

The penis might be the ugliest organ on the planet. Jesus Freaks love to say the body is a temple, and its form and function are proof of the guiding hand of God. When I took a look at myself naked on film, I did not see God. I mean, I'm in decent shape, even a bit chiseled (yeh, thats stretching, but like I said, I'm feeling fragile - I need some self esteem boosting) in certain areas, but from the waist down. Yikes. Why would any chick find that organ attractive? The cooter is no walk in the park, but at least its hidden. A set of balls just hangs there like a mistake of evolution. You'd think this "God" would've made the sex organs a bit more streamlined, wouldn't you? Really, if the Creationists were correct, how in the hell do they explain the inefficiency? The cock is uglier than a Gehry building (oh, don't tell me Gehry's a genius - his shit is the second ugliest stuff on the planet, just behind that abortion they're planning to construct at the WTC site).

Wrapping up, don't take photos of yourself nude, unless you have tits, and I don't mean man-tits.

Translation: Coltrane sucks my nutsack but I wont return the favor.

PS Why isnt a cooter a walk in the park?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
You arent into teabaggin? Its delicious!

but why didi you turn off the gal on gal stuff? Are you a gay?

The complete teabag would seem to me to be quite uncomfortable for all involved, unless the provider had a mouth like Carly Simon or the receiver of the tea bag had tiny (smaller than ben wah balls) testicles.

Plus, once you got the balls in there, wouldn't it create a suction, which would then cause excruciating pain as you tried to remove them?

It all just seems so unnecessary. I place it into the category of "lets just see if this works for the hell of it" useless sex acts.

"Hey, sweetheart, lets see if you can shove my sack into your mouth!"

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
She took pictures of me. Not excellent. I honestly don't know why she fucks me.

(oh, don't tell me Gehry's a genius - his shit is the second ugliest stuff on the planet, just behind that abortion they're planning to construct at the WTC site).

I like the organ at Disney Hall.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by BloatedSlave
Translation: I saw gay porn, and it moved, ITAWWT?

Does Sequels know?

Right. I'm the gay one. Your insecurity-level faux ego gave you away a long time ago. You're the neighbor in American Beauty, you old, gay greased-up pathetic excuse for a straight man.

I see a stray nipple hair - better pluck it. Those girls in Panama City won't like that.

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
NotBob, the Podunk bit is getting tired.

TM

Dissent As i sit wrapped in my shower drainage vest, which needs a trip to the cleaners as it has been getting a lot of wear of late, I was thinking Podunk sounds kinda nice and quaint, a little bit Richard RUsso and maybe I should consider moving there. Assuming its in Camden Maine and not Ohio or Houston or West Pennsylvania, just some place coolish

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Translation: Coltrane sucks my nutsack but I wont return the favor.

No reach-arounds either. Nothing.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Translation: Coltrane sucks my nutsack but I wont return the favor.

PS Why isnt a cooter a walk in the park?

Up close, it ain't like Georgia O'Keefe* would have you believe.

Its not bad, but its no work of art. Some are worse than others... we've been down that road. Its all dependednt on the droop factor (and with that, I hit a new low for the day).

But like I said, on its worst day, it ain't a hairy nutsack.

* She had a bit of "painter's block." You'd think she'd have come up with a few more themes in her career. The vagina controls the world, and its worth romanticizing, but shit, lady... 500 fucking paintings in every imaginable color?

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
NotBob, the Podunk bit is getting tired.

TM

What? You don't eagerly await each little development of my schti...uh, backstory?

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I like the organ at Disney Hall.

That Micky's one well-hung cat, I mean, mouse.

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Up close, it ain't like Georgia O'Keefe* would have you believe.

Its not bad, but its no work of art. Some are worse than others... we've been down that road. Its all dependednt on the droop factor (and with that, I hit a new low for the day).

But like I said, on its worst day, it ain't a hairy nutsack.

* She had a bit of "painter's block." You'd think she'd have come up with a few more themes in her career. The vagina controls the world, and its worth romanticizing, but shit, lady... 500 fucking paintings in every imaginable color?

Droop. That sounds more like a bulldog than an open faced roast beef sandwich. How do you maintain an erection anyway?

[Watchtower]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
NotBob, the Podunk bit is getting tired.

TM

I'm not quite sure I understand this. To put it in board terms, is TCOTU sophistry eternal while homespun charm has a short sell-by date? Some of us live in small cities (though Poughkeepsie's a tad bit south, so it's not the ultimate Podunk experience here) and work in small firms. It's not just a schtick.

But, I guess it is a Friday. I'd better get back to work, because I'm planning on cutting out at three and taking the kids skiing. Then we're having some friends over for a nice big home cooked meal and some cherry pie.

God Bless!