Merry Generic Winter Day-Off With No Religious Content

[patentparanyc]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
Where's a good NYC place to buy everyday silverware and a few glasses?

We have good stuff but for rank and file home eating, we have only 4 forks left because the others all ran away.

My mind screams Target but I don't know if there's any place better.

Target is a good place. Crate and Barrel? Fortunoff's? [expensive though--but our Calphalon from there has lasted close to 10 years.] Jack's dollar store? Just kidding. har har.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I am just wondering -- many friends of mine confided in me after I got separated/divorced that they never could understand what my husband and I were doing together, and that they never really cared for him and they never could understand what I saw in him. But all through the dating/marriage, they never said anything. It annoys me that they did not -- I can understand that they would not want to be jerks and criticize someone I love, but really, if you have an opinion, sometimes it is helpful to share it.

I am wondering if any of the other uber-smug divorcees had this experience and if so, whether it bugged them.

People always say this afterwards, but when you're with someone and love them, you don't want to hear this shit. As a matter of fact, based on past experience, you probably wouldn't hear it. You would wonder why someone is trying to fuck with your happiness. And yes, this happens even between people who love and trust each other and value one another's opinion.

TM

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
I agree. I am also against setting babies on fire. A terrible thing, that.

Photographers snip snap
Take your time she's only burning
This kind of experience
Is necessary for her learning

If you'll be my flotsam
I could be half the man I used to
They said you were hot stuff
And that's what Baby's been reduced to...

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Mixed bag for me. I got a lot of grief at the time from my sister (divorced once and now working on number 2) and a friend of mine (now divorced and feels like crap about treating me the way she did at the time) for not staying together.* Like nox4, I guess we put on a pretty good front for them. But since we always got along, just more in a brother-sister sort of way, I guess that makes sense. My growing population of separate friends by the time we separated thought it was the best move ever, but that is to be expected, I think.

No guilt over any of it at this point. I don't think you should fault your friends for keeping quiet. Voicing opinions like that can lead to the demise of a friendship. I have learned that lesson the hard way too (though the only reason I said anything in that case was it was an abusive relationship, at least as reported to me by her; it led to the only public altercation I've ever had with anyone (her asshole ex-boyfriend) in my life).



*this despite the fact that my sister didn't really like him. she is not especially good at the non-judgmental support, it turns out.

Hmm. This is all very helpful. Thank you, everyone.
I will let it go.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
your Most Reviled Poster status.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I think I would have listened to what they have to say. Generally I trust my friends' judgment.

Okay, now be honest with yourself, f not with me. Anyone who had told you that they couldn't stand your husband and thought the worst thing you could do would be to marry him on or near your wedding day would be a former friend.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I have learned that lesson the hard way too (though the only reason I said anything in that case was it was an abusive relationship, at least as reported to me by her; it led to the only public altercation I've ever had with anyone (her asshole ex-boyfriend) in my life).

Praying Mantis or Quart O'Blood Technique?

TM

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I am just wondering -- many friends of mine confided in me after I got separated/divorced that they never could understand what my husband and I were doing together, and that they never really cared for him and they never could understand what I saw in him. But all through the dating/marriage, they never said anything. It annoys me that they did not -- I can understand that they would not want to be jerks and criticize someone I love, but really, if you have an opinion, sometimes it is helpful to share it.

2. if i get divorced my in-laws will have credibility when they tell my ex they never liked me.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
People always say this afterwards, but when you're with someone and love them, you don't want to hear this shit. As a matter of fact, based on past experience, you probably wouldn't hear it. You would wonder why someone is trying to fuck with your happiness. And yes, this happens even between people who love and trust each other and value one another's opinion.

TM

We have this and the Hip Hop.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I think I would have listened to what they have to say. Generally I trust my friends' judgment.

You are the exception. Most people would take offense to that type of criticism.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Praying Mantis or Quart O'Blood Technique?

TM

nunchukas (nun-chuks).

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by taxwonk
Okay, now be honest with yourself, f not with me. Anyone who had told you that they couldn't stand your husband and thought the worst thing you could do would be to marry him on or near your wedding day would be a former friend.

I don't think so. I had doubts before the wedding (call me stupid, because I married him anyway) but everyone seemed to think he was just great. If someone else had said something that didn't make me think I was crazy for having these doubts, I might not have married him. It was a case of me not trusting my own judgment.

eta -- I guess I shouldn't blame my friends for my lack of faith in my own judgment.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I don't think so. I had doubts before the wedding (call me stupid, because I married him anyway) but everyone seemed to think he was just great. If someone else had said something that didn't make me think I was crazy for having these doubts, I might not have married him. It was a case of me not trusting my own judgment.

eta -- I guess I shouldn't blame my friends for my lack of faith in my own judgment.

I don't know you wel enough to say otherewise, so I won't challenge you on this. But if it is true, you are a very rare and unusual being, and I mean in ways other than the ways I already admire you for being rare and unusual.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I don't think so. I had doubts before the wedding (call me stupid, because I married him anyway) but everyone seemed to think he was just great. If someone else had said something that didn't make me think I was crazy for having these doubts, I might not have married him. It was a case of me not trusting my own judgment.

eta -- I guess I shouldn't blame my friends for my lack of faith in my own judgment.

If they knew he had a small cock and let you marry him, then I understand your point.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I don't think so. I had doubts before the wedding (call me stupid, because I married him anyway) but everyone seemed to think he was just great. If someone else had said something that didn't make me think I was crazy for having these doubts, I might not have married him. It was a case of me not trusting my own judgment.

eta -- I guess I shouldn't blame my friends for my lack of faith in my own judgment.

one of my best friends had been serious with this woman for a year or so. They moved in together and she stopped her part time college and just worked at a store. I has known the woman for only a few months.

As a sanity check he asked me whether he was crazy for considering marrying her.

I said- she seems great-
-Hank, there's a hesitation in your voice-
-no, I'd have to make shit up to criticize her-

I should mention we were boozing and he was serious Italian Catholic needed to have babies someday.

-tell me what you'd make up-
-Fine. why did she quit school as soon as you start getting serious, MRS degree? AND she has no hips. can she have babies?

he laughed it off. a few years later I was an usher at the wedding. I moved back to Detroit, had our first kid about the same time, and we hung out as couples all the time. Until, a few years later when they decided to see a doctor about why she wasn't getting pregnant.

Turns out she can't have babies. They fired us as friends.