Fashion Board 11-2-03 - 12-09-03

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/TV/1...eut/index.html

Cable network Comedy Central is planning to turn the make-over hit "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" upside down with a new show called "Straight Plan for the Gay Man."

Speaking of "Queer Eye," I stumbled on something very funny on a normally sucky cable music channel (I forget the station's name; it follows "VH1 Classic" on Directtv, fwiw). It was on "Behind the Music that Sucks," which itself appears to suck most of time. But one episode, at least was funny: "Arnold Eye for the Girly Guy," or something like that. Paper cut-out animation featuring a team of Herr Gropinator, Ashton Krucher, Rosie, Snoop, and Howard Stern trying to make a man of Michael Jackson. And competing with the Queer Eye guys. Nice shots of Arnold with a leg lock around Gray Davis. Ashton's solution to the kids in Michael's bedroom: replace them with midgits. "They're like kids, but better for you." Also, excellent gratuitous references to "Tara Reid." "Bitch!"

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
It's so outdated.

Are you sure that's not out-dated?

[SlaveNoMore]

sebastian_dangerfield
Freewill

There are those who think that life has nothing left to chance,
A host of holy horrors to direct our aimless dance.

A planet of playthings,
We dance on the strings
Of powers we cannot perceive
"The stars aren't aligned,
Or the gods are malign..."
Blame is better to give than receive.

Chorus
You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill;
I will choose a path that's clear
I will choose freewill.

There are those who think that they were dealt a losing hand,
The cards were stacked against them; they weren't born in Lotusland.

All preordained
A prisoner in chains
A victim of venomous fate.
Kicked in the face,
You can't pray for a place
In heaven's unearthly estate.

Chorus

Each of us
A cell of awareness
Imperfect and incomplete.
Genetic blends
With uncertain ends
On a fortune hunt that's far too fleet.

A true classic, but I would have gone with the lesser known Entre Nous from the same Permanent Waves album:


We are secrets to each other
Each one's life a novel
No-one else has read.
Even joined in bonds of love,
We're linked to one another
By such slender threads.

We are planets to each other,
Drifting in our orbits
To a brief eclipse.
Each of us a world apart,
Alone and yet together,
Like two passing ships.

Chorus
Just between us,
I think it's time for us to recognize
The differences we sometimes fear to show.
Just between us,
I think it's time for us to realize
The spaces in between
Leave room for you and I to grow.

We are strangers to each other,
Full of sliding panels,
An illusion show.
Acting well-rehearsed routines
Or playing from the heart?
It's hard for one to know.

Chorus

We are islands to each other,
Building hopeful bridges
On a troubled sea.
Some are burned or swept away,
Some we would not choose,
But we're not always free.

[Dave]

Originally posted by ThrashersFan

*Flintstone's Christmas Carol, Muppet Christmas Carol, Bugs Bunny Christmas Carol -- just to name a few.

Vanessa Williams in "A Diva's Christmas Carol" on VH-1. Which will be on at least seventeen times in the next six weeks.

The 98 days of Christmas are upon us.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Paigow put a Jesus figure in her first short stories ages ago, but four different dudes claimed author credit.

wait a minute..... I thought Paigow was a Jesus figure.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Are you sure that's not out-dated?

Absolutely.

And Slave, the problem with going with "lesser known" Rush songs is that they don't get stuck in the heads of Rush-hating posters. We who hate Rush are only familiar with the songs that were ubiquitous at one time.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by SlaveNoMore
A true classic, but I would have gone with the lesser known Entre Nous from the same Permanent Waves album:


We are secrets to each other
Each one's life a novel
No-one else has read.
Even joined in bonds of love,
We're linked to one another
By such slender threads.

We are planets to each other,
Drifting in our orbits
To a brief eclipse.
Each of us a world apart,
Alone and yet together,
Like two passing ships.

Chorus
Just between us,
I think it's time for us to recognize
The differences we sometimes fear to show.
Just between us,
I think it's time for us to realize
The spaces in between
Leave room for you and I to grow.

We are strangers to each other,
Full of sliding panels,
An illusion show.
Acting well-rehearsed routines
Or playing from the heart?
It's hard for one to know.

Chorus

We are islands to each other,
Building hopeful bridges
On a troubled sea.
Some are burned or swept away,
Some we would not choose,
But we're not always free.

Slave,

Enough $25 chips. I'll see your stack and up you this...

S(The only thing that beats it is a Mr. Roboto)D

Carry On My Wayward Son

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond the illusion
I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high
Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man
I hear the voices when I'm dreamin',
I can hear them say

Carry on my wayward son,
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Now don't you cry no more

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, it surely
Means that I don't know
On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune, but
I hear the voices say

Carry on, you will always remember
Carry on, nothing equals the splendor
Now your life's no longer empty
Surely heaven waits for you

[Montecore]

Greetings, tasty lawtalkers!

I've been away from Vegas for a while honing my new act in - you guessed it - the Catskills. Yeah, I know the area has a reputation for stale comedy. But trust me, nobody does the "take my wife, please" jokes when I'm around. At least not any more. The act is really coming together. It's just great for me to hear the roar of the crowd instead of vice versa for a change.

Which reminds me: Two tigers are stalking through the undergrowth in single file when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the behind of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says, "Hey! Cut it out. What's up with that?"

The rear tiger replies, "Well, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!" [ba dump dump]

But seriously, folks, I'm not here just for laughs. I'm here to remind you that the civil rights of ALL tigers, and not just us inbred mutant ones, continue to be violated. As indicated here:

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp..._us/tiger_lady

tigers are being uprooted from their land and being sent to detention centers all the way across the country (although I hear they are anxious to sample indigenous San Antonio cuisine). Big, beautiful cats are being killed for nothing more than their curiousity. My brothers are being drugged simply for voicing their opinions. So, you see, despite all your best efforts, there is still much work to be done.

Anyway, I'd love to stay and tell jokes all afternoon. But I can't. I always adhere to the showbiz maxim, "get off quick." Just like str8 on his wedding night. [ba dump dump] You've been beautiful! Bye, folks!

[Atticus Grinch]

I'm starting to think Larry Flynt has an enormous file cabinet containing nude photographs of every man, woman and child in America. For many of us, it's simply a matter of time.

Pornographer Says He Has Nude Lynch Photos. Yahoo News.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Montecore
Greetins, tasty lawtalkers!

But seriously, folks, I'm not here just for laughs. I'm here to remind you that the civil rights of ALL tigers, and not just us inbred mutant ones, continue to be violated. As indicated here:

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp..._us/tiger_lady

What was going on with her "sanctuary" that the tigers apparently wanted to climb into cages?

Originally posted by Montecore
Anyway, I'd love to stay and tell jokes all afternoon. But I can't. I always adhere to the showbiz maxim, "get off quick."

That's "get 'em off quick" and I was unaware that Thurgreed's momma is in showbiz.*

*Though sometimes showbiz is in her.

[notcasesensitive]

Is not a Rush song at al, but a brilliant collaboration between Getty Lee and Bob and Doug McKenzie. I'm sure gwinky can hum a few bars for any of you who are too young to remember it.

beauty, eh?

Oh, and while I'm at it, Strange Brew is my answer to currently underappreciated movies. Damn kids today.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Oh, and while I'm at it, Strange Brew is my answer to currently underappreciated movies. Damn kids today.

I heart you, eh?

Strange Brew Trivia Test

[ThrashersFan]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Is not a Rush song at al, but a brilliant collaboration between Getty Lee and Bob and Doug McKenzie. I'm sure gwinky can hum a few bars for any of you who are too young to remember it.

beauty, eh?

Oh, and while I'm at it, Strange Brew is my answer to currently underappreciated movies. Damn kids today.

Take Off
Bob & Doug McKenzie (with Geddy Lee)

(Transcribed from original recording)

(Spoken) This is where the DJ talks. Don't say anything, okay?
(Spoken) Okay, eh?

(Sung) Cooo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coooo!
(Sung) Cooo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coooo!

(Spoken) Okay. Good day. Welcome to our single. I'm Bob McKenzie and
this is my brother Doug.
(Spoken) How's it going, eh?

(Spoken) Beauty, eh?
(Spoken) Yeah, I like that.

(Spoken) Okay. (Okay.)
(Spoken) Okay, everyone. This record was my idea.
(Spoken) Get out!
(Spoken) It was.
(Spoken) You're lying!
(Spoken) He... Hosehead here just sort of rid on my coattails.
(Spoken) Why are you doing this? It was our idea together, eh?
(Spoken) Yeah, okay.
(Spoken) (Yeah, okay.)
(Spoken) We agreed to... to say that, but...
(Spoken) Ah, take off!

CHORUS:

Take off! To the Great White North!
Take off! It's a beauty way to go.
Take off! To the Great White North!

(Spoken) Decent singing, eh?
(Spoken) Yeah.
(Spoken) Yeah, he's good.
(Spoken) Okay, so Good Day. Our topic today is music.
(spoken) That's right like, cause my brother and I are now experts in
the field.
(Spoken) Yeah, right, cause we're a band now. (Yeah, yeah, so...)
(Spoken) And ummm... Well, except for him, I'm a band.
(Spoken) Aww. How can you do that? Making me look bad. You're such a
hosehead.
(Spoken) Yea? Well, take off!

CHORUS

(Guitar solo)

(Spoken) Hey, hosehead.
(Spoken) Yeah, what?
(Spoken) Yeah, listen to this what's coming. You know what it is?
(Spoken) What?
(Spoken) It's a drum solo!
(Spoken) Okay, everyone, like this is me on the drums!
(Spoken) Oh, get out! It is not. You're not...
(Spoken) It is so!
(Spoken) Stop lying, will ya?
(Spoken) Take off, eh!
(Spoken) Aww...

CHORUS x2

Take off!

Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooooo!
Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooooo!

(Repeat to end of song)

(Spoken) Beauty, eh?
(Spoken) Like magic, eh? It's coming in.
(Spoken) Well, that's like...
(Spoken) It's like it was sung by angels.
(Spoken) Hey, hosehead.
(Spoken) Yeah, what?
(Spoken) Guess what?
(Spoken) What?
(Spoken) It's over!
(Spoken) Take off! That can't be it!
(Spoken) Well... It is, yeah. Yeah, it is.
(Spoken) Why?
(Spoken) Because, well, hit records are short. Like, they...
(Spoken) No way.
(Spoken) ...yeah, they're not that long.
(Spoken) Okay. So, that's our topic for today. So, Good Day!
(Spoken) Good day!

(Shouted) Ay, you guys!
(Spoken) What?
(Shouted) Take off!

(Spoken) Wait! No!
(Spoken) Hey! Don't go!
(Spoken) No! Come back, eh?
(Spoken) Aww. Look what you did! Everybody's gone because of you! You said...
(Spoken) Come back! I won't let him do it again!
(Spoken) My fault, eh?
(Spoken) Yeah, your fault.
(Spoken) You are such a hoser.
(Spoken) There's no way I'll ever do another record with you Hoser.
(Spoken) Okay, that's fine! I'll do a solo album.
(Spoken) Fine then, you'll be looking for me...
(Spoken) Yeah? I will not.
(Spoken) ...on another label.
(Spoken) Aww. Now everybody's gone.
(Spoken) So?
(Spoken) Good day!
(Spoken) Good day!

[Atticus Grinch]

Please use links, not Ctrl-V. And IM them to the people who care.

That is all.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

TMQ is back in a new place.