[hi less!!!]Where Everyone Knows Penske's Socks Don't Suck[/hi less!!!]!!!

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
THE INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL TRIBUNAL
FOR THE FORMER GA REPUBLIC

THE PROSECUTOR OF THE TRIBUNAL
AGAINST
slave

INDICTMENT
The Prosecutor of the International Criminal Tribunal for the former GA Republic, pursuant to her authority under Article 18 of the Statute of the Tribunal, charges:

slave, aka 4thyearslave, aka 5thyearslave, aka 6thyearslave aka 7thyearslave, aka slave4ever, aka slavenomore, aka shaved&confused, aka slavedbythebell, aka Admin bin Laden, aka the Hairless Consig, etc.

with CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY and VIOLATIONS OF THE LAWS OR CUSTOMS OF WAR as set forth below:

BACKGROUND
1. Around September 1998, someone started up a club called Greedy Associates, and decided that it would be a place for law firm associates to exchange information about their respective firms. Associates at law firms around the country started reading the club and contributing. These associates all became known as "Greedy Associates," or "GAs" for short.

2. After the original Greedy Associates board had been spammed and turned into a virtual wasteland, the entire cast of characters that had originally populated it left for the greener pastures of the RealGAs board. Every so often, however, a GA would check back on the original board to see if it continued to be a moron-a-thon. DebtSlave, in lamenting the usefulness of the original Greedy Associate haven, coined the term, "Icky Board," due to the nature of the posts that were populating the board. Icky Board was later shortened to "IB," which some people interpret as "Idiot Board."

3. Well, the GAs found the truth in that old adage during their time at Yahoo! The RealGAs and various regional GA boards were often times unavailable for viewing, or would fail to display certain messages, or were just painfully slow in general. FindLaw’s Infirmation.com approached the GAs, and asked them if they would be willing to change hosts. The GAs explained that if would build a site that had better specs, a better "look and feel," and more reliability than did the original Yahoo! clubs, then they would be willing to move the boards over to their site. FindLaw’s Infirmation.com came through, offering spell check, search features, and far better reliability than the GAs had experienced in the last few months with Yahoo!, and the GAs relocated to FindLaw’s Infirmation.com’s greener pastures.

4. In the old Yahoo! clubs, people who either created a club or were granted those editorial powers were known as club "founders." RealGAs had 11 founders. Upon making the move to FindLaw, there were back room dealings among the founders (later to be known as “flounders”), replete with smoke, sex, hookers, booze, backstabbings, recriminations, and of course money. It was a sordid affair, a tale as old as time or bilmore, depending on your personal views of Creation.
5. For a time there was peace in the GA Republic, in the time of multo, Indentured Serpant, cosmogirl, plated, and other classic old skool-type posters. But soon all the original old skool types were cashing their royalty checks and stock options and chilling with Puffy at Hotel du Cap, sending the GA Republic into steady decline. Quality socks discouraged by the iron fist of SFTM, posters began phoning it. The greener pastures soon turned red with the blood of sock patriots. The GA Republic, faced with mass exterminations and socknic cleansing, soon realized that they no longer controlled their homeland.

6. Sometime during the forgoing period, paigow and slave had sex.

7. As a result of the persecutions, heavy-handedness, and blatant ABUSES OF AUTHORITY (now known as the “Stalin Board”), the cool kids on infirm moved on to lawtalkers. The old skool cred-hungry slave saw his chance to seize power during the transitional chaos and tumult and muscled his way into the position of Admin, Hairless Consig and Warlord within the newly established GA Republic.

THE ACCUSED
8. slave was born at a time unknown, presumably in a Blue State. His educational credentials are suspected to be forgeries and his professional career as a “lawyer” is undistinguished. He is rumored to have been fired from a position as an associate at a thoroughly disreputable firm in the Pacific NW, where his office is often referred to as the “pubicle cubicle.” Now, upon information and belief, he cleans spittletraysinSF. In his ample spare time, he wields power as Admin, Hairless Consig and Warlord on the lawtalkers anonymous internet-type lawyer message boards.

SUPERIOR AUTHORITY
9. As Hairless Consig and Warlord, slave performs his duties either personally or through “commands, orders and decisions.” In addition to his de jure powers, slave exercises extensive de facto control over numerous institutions essential to, or involved in, the conduct of the offenses alleged herein.

GENERAL ALLEGATIONS
10. At all times relevant to this indictment, slave occupied his position of Hairless Consig and Warlord of lawtalkers.

11. All acts and omissions charged as crimes against humanity were part of a widespread or systematic attack directed against the lawtalkers civilian population.

12. During his tenure as Admin, Hairless Consig and Warlord of lawtalkers, slave has engaged in arbitrarily capricious ABUSES OF POWER, such as sock and/or pussy flipping without justification and/or warning. Additionally, slave has threatened and/or implemented deletions of posts, posters and/or socks for purported preposterous TOS violation allegations when it furthers his fiendish goals. And slave and paigow had sex.

CHARGES

CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY
13. On Tuesday, December 28, 2004, slave outed or “flipped” a sock known as Hairless Consigliere as belonging to penske, which it may or may not, but due to the cowed deference shown to slave by virtue of his immense power as Admin, Hairless Consig and Warlord of lawtalkers and his access to urls, many believed the sock known as Hairless Consigliere to be yet another penske sock without stopping to consider the implications of Hairless Consigliere being a penske sock, which it may or may not be. Said flipping was done without warning, in public or private, in violation of basic GA Republican principles such as Fair Warning, and was done by slave under the cloak of TOS in an attempt to consolidate his already vast power.

14. On many other occasions too numerous to list here, deletions of posts, posters and/or socks were threatened/implemented by slave under the cloak of TOS in an attempt to consolidate his already vast power. slave’s ABUSE OF POWER chills future sockery, stifles creativity, and could lead to the disappearance of some of the GA Republic’s most valued and original voices. Accordingly, slave's ABUSES OF POWER are crimes not only against individual posters, but against humanity at large.

15. slave and paigow had sex. Upon information and belief, slave had sex with other posters as well (but I’ll never tell). Due to slave’s shaved and drunken condition during these events, his actions must be construed as TORTURE.

COUNT 1
(ABUSE OF POWER)
Count 1: ABUSE OF POWER, a CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY, punishable under Article 5(d) of the Statute of the Tribunal.

COUNT 2
(TORTURE)
Count 2: TORTURE, a CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY, punishable under Article 3 of the Statute of the Tribunal and recognised by Article 3(1)(a) (torture) of the GA Conventions.

COUNT 3
(PERSECUTIONS)
Count 4: Persecutions of innocent socks on political, racial and religious grounds, a CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY, punishable under Article 5(h) of the Statute of the Tribunal.

Respectfully submitted,

Shape Shifter
Counsel for Humanity

Hhmmmmmmm, interesting. If even half of this were proven true, I think that would be a very serious offense.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Spanky
I left her message saying I couldn't find a Serbian restaurant but I did find a restaurant that was of mediterean theme and the owner was from Dalmatia. I said we could go there. And then I told her I would call back. I did not leave a number. I believe that is a bad call, like giving a girl your business card, you never want to leave the ball in their court because then you lose all control.

I have to go the police are at my door.

Spanky, remember to exercise your Second Amendment rights as needed.

Strength!

[Spanky]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
Hhmmmmmmm, interesting. If even half of this were proven true, I think that would be a very serious offense.

Although any indictment of Slave deserves full attention and I am very interest in it, if you give me just a minute I need to digress to tell my story. It is just to cool to be true.

Two cops and that idiot came to the door. One officer told me that the idiot had been hit by waterballoons (and he was still wet - hehe) and did I know anything about it. I said I didn't, and then the police officer pointed out that I have direct sight line from my window to where the "incident took place" (I love it when cops try and sound official). They must have nailed him when he got out of the pickup truck but I missed it because I was busy posting. I happened right in front of me but I missed the whole thing.

The cop then asked me who the girl was that was with me yesterday in my yard. At that point I just said that normall I cooperate with the police (in fact I was a witness in a murder trial last year) but that this jerk got what he deserved and that is all I have to say.

I said if you want any more information I will have to see a subpoena or a warrent or something. The cop then told that the assault on a county official is a serious matter and that I need to talk to them. I then told them I am a lawyer so I don't need to talk to them and to please exit the premises.

First of all I can't believe that just happened. Second of all I can't believe that I missed it. It must have happened right in my peripheral vision because my face faces the window and it happend directly in front of my window about thirty five feet away.

These balloons had to have been thrown from my neighbors yard and they don't have any kids. It is going to be really hard for them to figure out who did this.

How can these guys force me to give up Stacey?

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Remain silent.

The only "unbiased" witness was a minor whose recollection may be spotty and is on your side anyway. Quiet time.

Spanky NEEDS representation!

Quick! To the Bananamobile!

ETA: Oops, too late.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Not Bob
And if every former lurker is assumed by the crowd to be a penske sock (as if he's the only socker, but that's a different story) and is treated as such, that doesn't help, either.

Exactly the point i have tried to make. Many socks of the years have not been mine, including some of the many long-time lurker first time poster socks. But the taint of the penske recriminations drove them away (after all not everyone is into the taint like Mr. Buttleslicker).

Easy example was Dainty Petunia. Lovely lass, not of my creation, and driven off, like a red herring to the slaughter, sts.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Was that you?

Seriously, given that a good chunk of the posts here are inside jokes that fly over my head, how do we expect to get new people to jump in if they don't have a clue as to what the fuck people are talking about? Yes, they should lurk for a while to figure out what's going on before they post, but if many regulars can't figure it out, how will they? And if every former lurker is assumed by the crowd to be a penske sock (as if he's the only socker, but that's a different story) and is treated as such, that doesn't help, either.

And to forstall the "we don't want anyone new here" response, all of us (well, most of us here currently) were newbies once.

I think he meant that "incredibly pedantic, stupid and boring" was meant as a compliment. But I could be wrong.

And we do want new blood here. Of course we do. But I'd like all the new blood to be male, 40-ish, incredibly handsome, filthy rich, gifted with his tongue and into me. I mean, let's be honest... it's all about me.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I think he meant that "incredibly pedantic, stupid and boring" was meant as a compliment. But I could be wrong.

And we do want new blood here. Of course we do. But I'd like all the new blood to be male, 40-ish, incredibly handsome, filthy rich, gifted with his tongue and into me. I mean, let's be honest... it's all about me.

Are you also into rebelling against the PO-lice? I think we might have someone to recommend. Do you mind getting Paigow's sloppy seconds?

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Spanky
Although any indictment of Slave deserves full attention and I am very interest in it, if you give me just a minute I need to digress to tell my story. It is just to cool to be true.

Two cops and that idiot came to the door. One officer told me that the idiot had been hit by waterballoons (and he was still wet - hehe) and did I know anything about it. I said I didn't, and then the police officer pointed out that I have direct sight line from my window to where the "incident took place" (I love it when cops try and sound official). They must have nailed him when he got out of the pickup truck but I missed it because I was busy posting. I happened right in front of me but I missed the whole thing.

The cop then asked me who the girl was that was with me yesterday in my yard. At that point I just said that normall I cooperate with the police (in fact I was a witness in a murder trial last year) but that this jerk got what he deserved and that is all I have to say.

I said if you want any more information I will have to see a subpoena or a warrent or something. The cop then told that the assault on a county official is a serious matter and that I need to talk to them. I then told them I am a lawyer so I don't need to talk to them and to please exit the premises.

First of all I can't believe that just happened. Second of all I can't believe that I missed it. It must have happened right in my peripheral vision because my face faces the window and it happend directly in front of my window about thirty five feet away.

These balloons had to have been thrown from my neighbors yard and they don't have any kids. It is going to be really hard for them to figure out who did this.

How can these guys force me to give up Stacey?

I didnt read any of the preceding thread yesterday, no offence, but this is good. Well done. This incident may have propelled you past Club as the poster who makes the most sense.

I have no respect for the arbitrary and capricious nature of law enforcement and you told these jackboots where to get off. Bravo!

Today is now officially, the best of times and the worst of times!

Oh the humanity!!!!

Originally posted by Flinty_McFlint
Are you also into rebelling against the PO-lice? I think we might have someone to recommend. Do you mind getting Paigow's sloppy seconds?

Spanky hits most of those categories except for one and there is one I dont know about but could make an educated guess.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I think he meant that "incredibly pedantic, stupid and boring" was meant as a compliment. But I could be wrong.

And we do want new blood here. Of course we do. But I'd like all the new blood to be male, 40-ish, incredibly handsome, filthy rich, gifted with his tongue and into me. I mean, let's be honest... it's all about me.

I don;t know about the "into you part" (npi), but didn't you just describe Billmore?

[LessinSF]

Originally posted by Spanky
How can these guys force me to give up Stacey?

Not really. Refuse to say anything, but don't lie, since that can constitute an offense in itself. I suppose they could "take you in for questioning" or try to hold you as a "material witness," but that seems rather absurd in a water ballooning, and I can picture your op-ed piece in the Palo Alto Weekly now. I will ghost-write if you want.

[Spanky]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
I didnt read any of the preceding thread yesterday, no offence, but this is good. Well done. This incident may have propelled you past Club as the poster who makes the most sense.

I have no respect for the arbitrary and capricious nature of law enforcement and you told these jackboots where to get off. Bravo!

Today is now officially, the best of times and the worst of times!

Oh the humanity!!!!

I can't believe this is happening. This is the most excited I have been in years. These kids have some balls. Even in my most delinquent days I would never have thought about hitting a county official with a baloon from such close quarters.

The cops are going to every house around here, the problem is that Stacey (and hopefully the other kids that were with her) is from the other side of the hill. The only way to get their is to either walk across private property, but if you are driving you have to go way around the hill and it isn't easy to find. Plus, that area is Los Altos Hills and not Palo Alto.

What can they do to make talk. Is there something in the Patriot Act I should know about.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by LessinSF
Not really. Refuse to say anything, but don't lie, since that can constitute an offense in itself.

Really? What offence is that?

[Spanky]

Originally posted by LessinSF
Not really. Refuse to say anything, but don't lie, since that can constitute an offense in itself. I suppose they could "take you in for questioning" or try to hold you as a "material witness," but that seems rather absurd in a water ballooning, and I can picture your op-ed piece in the Palo Alto Weekly now. I will ghost-write if you want.

You know every day in the Palo Alto daily paper they have a police blotter that lists all the crimes. It is usually just some stolen bikes and some vandalism. I wonder if this will be in the paper tomorrow. I don't see why it wouldn't be.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Spanky
I can't believe this is happening. This is the most excited I have been in years. These kids have some balls. Even in my most delinquent days I would never have thought about hitting a county official with a baloon from such close quarters.

The cops are going to every house around here, the problem is that Stacey (and hopefully the other kids that were with her) is from the other side of the hill. The only way to get their is to either walk across private property, but if you are driving you have to go way around the hill and it isn't easy to find. Plus, that area is Los Altos Hills and not Palo Alto.

What can they do to make talk. Is there something in the Patriot Act I should know about.

While I agree that the cops are kinda being assholes about it, you are effectively encouraging these kids to disregard law enforcement. Even if you don't give them up, someone should tear the kids some new assholes. I mean, shit, if they don't have to listen to the cops, why would they listen to their teachers or the crossing guard or anyone like that?

Be part of the solution, not part of the problem, spankster.