Fashion Board 6-9-04 to 7-13-04

[the Spartan]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
How can I make this more clear...

Hmmmm...

I'd have sex with Julia Child every day for a month for $5 Large. Get the picture now?

For $5M I say get in line......actually for $5M I'd put up with sloppy seconds, or tangy thirds.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Right. You need to be able to pretend like someone has just removed your kidneys with a spoon whenever you fall down if your opponent is standing within 500 feet of you. I forgot that part.

TM

I'm not going to defend the drama queen aspect of the fouls. I think it slows the game down and detracts from the action. But your "run fast and kick" premise is just inane, and you know it is. And I know you know it is, which is why I said "and you know it is."

[Alex_de_Large]

Hey weed: I finally figured out what your avatar reminds me of. It looks like Brad Pitt dressed up like those creatures Travolta played in "Battlefield Earth."

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
The BBC announcers (Thanks, Anne!), in contrast, couldn't tell us frequently enough what a poor match it was. If not for the british accents, I would have thought TM was announcing.

Funny how everything went to shit as soon as Ingerlund got dumped, innit? By contrast, Wayne Rooney pulling up his socks would have induced palpitations and speaking in tongues.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by ironweed
Exactly how many afternoons off do you get for watching the footie down in the boozer?

Two.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
And yet he plays tennis. 6'3" and 190 is what his stats say. Jan Michael Gambill. And damn fringey, that pic is from a site with some smokin hot australian footballers but it turns out it's a gay site and I wouldn't want you to get in trouble with the IT guys again. There's a smokin hot picture of my boy Brad and a nice vintage Calvin Klein shot of Marky Mark.
How about A&F?

These are better, but they kind of look like they'd be assholes. Alex's guy had a charming innocence about him.

And, bnb, you may have both Kevin and shiny guy. Because you are bringing one of my original FB crushees, ironweed, with us after you get all the money.

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Hell, yes. This is a no brainer. I wouldn't even need the finger-snapping and leaving, or the weekends away, or any vacation at all.

$5m/year for 3 years. Then I quit. And retire to South America. With ncs, RP, fringey, ABBA, TM, Not Bob, Ironweed and Kevin Bacon. And Johnny Depp, just so I can keep his goatee trimmed.

Whooo hooo!!!

But keep Depp's goddamn goatee hairs out of the sink in the beach house, because that shit is nasty.

Originally posted by the Spartan
For $5M/year I'd work anywhere in the US or otherwise, whether or not the job was acceptable.

For $1M/year I'd work anyplace in the US, whether or not the job was acceptable, as long as it didn't involve Thurgreed's mamma (I have some principles-she pays me).

And having scrolled and then posted, for $500K lump sum payment after taxes I would join the communist party, a lifetime membership.

For $250K lump sum after taxes I would vote for Hillary for President and give Thurgreed a foot massage. No pun intended. No offence.

And he gives a mean handjob for $25. I mean, so I've heard.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by ltl/fb

And, bnb, you may have both Kevin and shiny guy. Because you are bringing one of my original FB crushees, ironweed, with us after you get all the money.

You've got good taste, sister. I've developed a crush on him since his return. That's one fine man...

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
In Mexican folkore, each of us is said to die three deaths: Once, when we take our last breaths. Twice, when our bodies are consigned to their graves. Thrice, the last time someone speaks our names among the living.

Maybe we should now add a fourth: when our families figure out our IM, Friendster and Lawtalkers passwords to notify our imaginary friends.

Where are our MIAs, anyway?

To avoid backstabbing, sniping and accusations of bandwagon-jumping after the event, I want to make it very clear that John 123 and I were very, very close and I will need at least a week off work to grieve.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
In Mexican folkore, each of us is said to die three deaths: Once, when we take our last breaths. Twice, when our bodies are consigned to their graves. Thrice, the last time someone speaks our names among the living.

Maybe we should now add a fourth: when our families figure out our IM, Friendster and Lawtalkers passwords to notify our imaginary friends.

Where are our MIAs, anyway?

Yes, Penske's estate planning is indeed a bitch (and around the office we call that bitch project Martha), but we've got it covered.

Lest any of you look upon the body of his work with greedy eyes, know that upon his demise we've got multiple layers of protection. Inspired by recent press reports of the planning of Presidential funerals decades in advance, our man Penske has been thinking ahead.

The copyright to the aggregated works will be held in the Penske, No, Spartan! Foundation, which will devote proceeds from the licensing rights to the wide availability of kilts to the nation's poor, and to the development of better legwaxing products.

We also have a staff of 124 lined up to carry on the Penske lineage upon his demise or institutionalization, with each being assigned identifiable logins. To get a sense of the process and the continuation of quality, think Charles Schultz, only without the wit.

Finally, we're devoting attention to the aggregate market value of the works. Though admittedly declining in recent years, we're hoping that quantity will overcome these nagging quality problems and that in the end, market prices will spike so high that Warhol would blush.

Gattigap

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
Hey weed: I finally figured out what your avatar reminds me of. It looks like Brad Pitt dressed up like those creatures Travolta played in "Battlefield Earth."

I have to move on, now that he's out of Euro 2004 and signed with Barca. But it's hard to let go of the King of Kings. Even if he does look like a Psychlo.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
He's just not going to be my type. even matte. And sadly, I can't find the post that Alex did with that actually very hot guy. Dammit!

There's always Paolo Maldini

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Some of the people with the best combination of coordination and speed that I have ever known have been soccer players. I have also observed that these people are well above-average in most other sports as well.

One of the reasons that I like soccer is that it does emphasize skill over freakish physical attributes. Great soccer players of all positions come in a wide range of body types. Contrast this to basketball, where no matter how superb your skills (and I do not mean to suggest that basketball players don't have magnificent skills), you will never be a world-class player unless you are in the 99.9th percentile of height. (And don't bother yelling "Spud Webb" at me, okay?).

Ditto football -- to be great in most of the positions requires abnormal size, far beyond just being fit and strong. Not every position, of course, but even when you move away from the extremes of, say, the offensive line you have a narrower range of body types than you see in soccer (how many great pro QBs are under 5'10"?).

Among other things, this means you can play soccer at pretty high levels if you have the skills and general fitness needed, regardless of whether you grow up to be abnormally tall or huge.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
There's always Paolo Maldini

Will you just get the one guy back? Please? These others are not very pleasing to me.