A frolic in Cambodia

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by dtb
I worked at "A Wine Bar Cafe" in college, and had to open many-a-bottle; it's not that I don't know how; I just like the freaking $79 corkscrew. IS THAT OK WITH YOU ALL?!?!?

It's fine with me, dear. I wasn't really commenting on yours (which looks more traditional, excepting the smiley face), it was more TM's nuclear reactor that I was responding to.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Gattigap
2. Shows you know your way around a bottle of wine.

TM, I think the opener you originally displayed looked fancy and all, but it made me think of people who drive automatics not because they prefer them, but because straightdrives make them nervous.

I go to a lot of art openings, and the thing that slows up the line at the bar the most is when the bartender has to open another bottle of wine. At the more crowded openings, the bartender is going through a bottle of wine every five minutes or so. The Captain's knife takes about 10 times as long as the lever-type opener. Granted, most bottles opened at home aren't going to have ten people huddled around the bottle waiting for it to be opened, but the levers are definitely quicker.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Good lord. What is with you people? It's a fucking gift. Do you expect me to buy someone a three dollar corkscrew if it, in fact, is the best opener on the market? What I want to give is something that looks cool and is very easy to use. I saw this one in the movie Sideways and the actress operating it made it look like a snap. So call it what you want, but these judgments are stupid and pointless -- especially when the only alternative suggested so far has been a swiss army knife.

TM

I received one as a present. It was a delightful gift and it made me think well of the gift-giver. I still feel a little guilty when I reach past it in the drawer to grab a regular screw pull, which I find more convenient to use.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
I can just picture Christmas morning at the Burger house. The kids run down to stockings, all stuffed full of goodies! Oooh, an orange! Yay, a pencil sharpener! Hurrah, mine has dental floss! Oh look, I got some Q-tips! What a joy to be in a household free of the frivolous baubles and decadent doo-dads often associated with this sadly over-commercialized holiday.

It's not often that I'm able to read prose and find myself instantly transported to those magical, carefree days of my childhood. You, sir, have a gift.



Motherfucker.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I go to a lot of art openings, and the thing that slows up the line at the bar the most is when the bartender has to open another bottle of wine. At the more crowded openings, the bartender is going through a bottle of wine every five minutes or so. The Captain's knife takes about 10 times as long as the lever-type opener. Granted, most bottles opened at home aren't going to have ten people huddled around the bottle waiting for it to be opened, but the levers are definitely quicker.

Translation: I go to a lot of art openings. I am fancy and so are my corkscrews.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Gattigap
2. Shows you know your way around a bottle of wine.

TM, I think the opener you originally displayed looked fancy and all, but it made me think of people who drive automatics not because they prefer them, but because straightdrives make them nervous.

Then it's the perfect gift. The person who will receive this doesn't like to drive and wouldn't drive a stick because it makes her nervous. She is also not a wine snob, but has considerable trouble opening wine with what I think is a pretty easy opener to use. The gift I posted looked cool and seemed fun and easy to use. Since she never entertains, it's not a gift that she would appreciate because it makes a statement about her superior taste.

I liked dtb's suggestion as well. I will check them both out. But I find it very funny that so many people have drawn the line at this product when every single person on this board has bought and will buy something that is more expensive than it is "worth" (that word being relative) because they thought it was cool. "Know it when I see it" -- please. Give me a large break.

TM

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I received one as a present. It was a delightful gift and it made me think well of the gift-giver. I still feel a little guilty when I reach past it in the drawer to grab a regular screw pull, which I find more convenient to use.

Perfect. Thugreed gets the "gift-appreciation" lay on delivering the precious corkscrew, and then many "guilt-about-not-using-the-fancy-gift"-induced lays down the road.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I received one as a present. It was a delightful gift and it made me think well of the gift-giver. I still feel a little guilty when I reach past it in the drawer to grab a regular screw pull, which I find more convenient to use.

Do you still have the box?

TM

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Perfect. Thugreed gets the "gift-appreciation" lay on delivering the precious corkscrew, and then many "guilt-about-not-using-the-fancy-gift"-induced lays down the road.

There's nothing like a good guilt-induced lay.*

TM

*Although I may be overstating since I'm not sure I've ever received any other kind.

[Gattigap]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Watching the interviews around the league, yesterday, it amazed me how every single player seemed to blame the fans yesterday. These guys really feel like Artest and O'Neal and Jackson were somehow wronged by the league. Their expectations of how they should be treated are totally fucking skewed.

To dredge up this old thread, I agree with this, TM. That said, I've noticed that The Artest Problem is working its way off of the sportspages into hi-falutin talkinghead-dom, no doubt with a short hop, skip and jump to Dr. Phil.

En route, I stumbled upon one talkinghead whose criticism of the fans is, IMHO, pretty valid.

• As far as I'm concerned, the guys I've seen over and over again on TV throwing punches at various members of the Indiana Pacers are the functional -- and nonfunctioning -- equivalent of that guy who faced down the tank in Tiananmen Square. Only he had a majestic, noble cause -- democracy. What these guys were fighting for is beyond me. To take on athletes in the prime of their lives, men almost 7 feet tall and bulked up to the strength of an ox, is stupidity so sheer, so perfect, that it is rarely found in nature and, by itself, contradicts Darwin. People this dumb should have died out by now.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Translation: I go to a lot of art openings. I am fancy and so are my corkscrews.

The openings are not fancy enough to allow the wine to breathe properly, though.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by dtb
I worked at "A Wine Bar Cafe" in college, and had to open many-a-bottle; it's not that I don't know how; I just like the freaking $79 corkscrew. IS THAT OK WITH YOU ALL?!?!?

Sure, but it's no good for trimming nose hairs, now, is it?

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
There's nothing like a good guilt-induced lay.*

TM

*Although I may be overstating since I'm not sure I've ever received any other kind.

Pity, not guilt.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I go to a lot of art openings, and the thing that slows up the line at the bar the most is when the bartender has to open another bottle of wine. At the more crowded openings, the bartender is going through a bottle of wine every five minutes or so. The Captain's knife takes about 10 times as long as the lever-type opener. Granted, most bottles opened at home aren't going to have ten people huddled around the bottle waiting for it to be opened, but the levers are definitely quicker.

I have noticed this, and out of concern for fellow opening attendees I usually just order beer.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
There's nothing like a good guilt-induced lay.*

TM

*Although I may be overstating since I'm not sure I've ever received any other kind.

Your confusing the guilt-induced lay with the sympathy-induced lay. They're both good, though. So I've heard.