General discussion - Mom and Dad Esq.

[cheval de frise]

Originally posted by lookingformarket
My pediatrician would be fired if it took 4-6 hours to return my call about my newborn.

The service takes a message; if it's not an emergency, it may well take until the end of the day to get a return call from the pediatrician. Welcome to Manhattan, my firm's health plan, and a shortage of local pediatricians.

Are you sure you don't want to move here from your bucolic locale?

[rufus leeking]

if you/newborn have trouble La Leche League helped my wife out
with uncooperative doctor/MIL advice.
If you get involved in LLL, the next time the Fashion Board gets into the "its sick to nurse after 1 year" argument, you will probably have a strong opinion- it is a rather strident organization- but if you want to breastfeed, and are having any trouble, it is basically an orginization ran by women who didn't have the easiest time nursing and had to work through challenges.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
Okay, this sounds totally squicky to me. I would freak if someone did that with my kid.

Squicky, yes, but if the alternative was struggling with latching for several days ....

All fits into the general category of be careful what help your refuse. For example, if your wife choose childbrith without meds, make sure she gets to revisit that choice just before the meds become impossible -- nothing worse than discovering that meds are no longer an option 20 hours into labor!

And I had one sister in law whose kid had latching problems, turned down the idea of a "tutor", came back to it 72 hours later after enormous frustration and angst.

prior posters speak the truth. As to relatives staying over- if you find that mildly stressful now, don't do it then. Gramma turtle puttered around in my house for days, doing things like weeding the garden and washing the windows and generally making me feel inadequate while taking care of things so far off my list of priorities I didn't recognize them. Love her, but she didn't stay over for number two (nobody did). New grandparents want to feel useful but don't usually know how, so more often than not the overnight visit is not a net gain.

I will never forget bringing turtle number one to her first post-hospital checkup and wanting to boast to the pediatrician that I'd kept her alive all by myself for a week. That's the way it feels at first-be ready for it and don't be ashamed of it.

Many dads feel kind of left out for the first 6-9 months. Its normal, and you will look back on that period a year later and not even know how you could have felt that way.

NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING BABY (somebody said that, but I thought it should be capitalized. they'll eat eventually, and their sleep is precious to you).

Good luck and congrats!

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by yertle
prior posters speak the truth. As to relatives staying over- if you find that mildly stressful now, don't do it then. Gramma turtle puttered around in my house for days, doing things like weeding the garden and washing the windows and generally making me feel inadequate while taking care of things so far off my list of priorities I didn't recognize them. Love her, but she didn't stay over for number two (nobody did). New grandparents want to feel useful but don't usually know how, so more often than not the overnight visit is not a net gain.

I will never forget bringing turtle number one to her first post-hospital checkup and wanting to boast to the pediatrician that I'd kept her alive all by myself for a week. That's the way it feels at first-be ready for it and don't be ashamed of it.

Many dads feel kind of left out for the first 6-9 months. Its normal, and you will look back on that period a year later and not even know how you could have felt that way.

NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING BABY (somebody said that, but I thought it should be capitalized. they'll eat eventually, and their sleep is precious to you).

Good luck and congrats!

Yeah, I'm overwhelmed with information and sudden fear. But I guess that's to be expected. I am doing my best to do my best, and I thank all of you for the opinions, guidance and well wishes!

[bilmore]

oops

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by bilmore
oops

Well, the oops are just part of parenting. As long as no one is hurt, we should just move along.

Good to see you, Bilmore, even if in a somewhat abbreviated post!

[tmdiva]

For more anecdotal evidence, I measured 44 cm (fundus height) on my due date--normal is 40. It was predicted that Magnus would be a 10-pounder. He was born 3 days later and weighed 8 1/2 lbs.

dtb is the first case I have ever heard of doctors overestimating a baby's weight. It's much more common for women to be induced or have C-sections because "this baby's huge" and then it turns out to weigh 6.5-7.5 lbs.

I say don't worry--unless the baby's all head, you'll be fine. Magnus' head has always been >95%, and I wouldn't have torn at all if he hadn't had his arm around his neck and caught me with his elbow on the way out.

tm

Edited to say yeah, I meant underestimate. Even timmies make mistakes.

I'm glad to hear that. I also have a family history of big babies - gramps was 14lbs and no one else has been smaller than 9lb (usually more), so as much as I would like to stop the trend, it isn't looking that way. He's got to get out somehow, however, so we'll just grin and bear it. OK, maybe no grinning.

I am also really huge right now due to polyhydramnios - way too much fluid - so fundus counts for nothing at this point. Like I said - nine u/s and they have all measured really big, so he may not be a linebacker, but this baby isn't petite either.

Hopefully I will get more info tomorrow on how and when.

-T(waddle waddle waddle)L

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

On our last babe, they were about 1 lb. over with the prediction. The experience has been that predications have been consistently higher than actual birth weight, though by varying amounts.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by tmdiva
I say don't worry--unless the baby's all head, you'll be fine. Magnus' head has always been >95%, and I wouldn't have torn at all if he hadn't had his arm around his neck and caught me with his elbow on the way out.

True dat. Grinchlet #1 was only 7 lbs. 4 oz. but came out with his right arm tucked behind his head like he was laying out in the sun after a picnic meal. Thus, his elbow was among the leading edges, much like in Magnus's case. What I saw I'd rather not ever see again. It was the only moment in which pacing in the waiting room seemed like a better idea.

Funny, I know probably four kids with >90% head size, but none below 50%. Maybe '50s sci-fi was right and we're evolving toward huge bulbous heads and telepathic powers.

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch What I saw I'd rather not ever see again.

a) If his head is anything like his daddy's, I'm doomed.
b) I don't think the Mr. will be making it through the delivery - he descibed the birth film we just saw as "fucking revolting." I have no desire to force him to be there for the grand finale if that's what he's going to be thinking.

-TL

[tmdiva]

Originally posted by TexLex
a) If his head is anything like his daddy's, I'm doomed.
b) I don't think the Mr. will be making it through the delivery - he descibed the birth film we just saw as "fucking revolting." I have no desire to force him to be there for the grand finale if that's what he's going to be thinking.

-TL

Just have him stand by your head and hold your hand, and he should be fine. And my experience has been that it's different when it's your own kid. My bil was very worried about passing out, etc., but turned out to be fine.

tm

The docs overestimated both of my babies by a pound- its either abundance of caution, or calculations being skewed by long limbs.
Unless you yourself are teeny tiny, the large head is less of a problem than you might think. My second's head was off the charts from birth until age 3, and we had no problems (though being the second helped).

For about a year, I wasn't sure my husband would get over the birth of number one. His tales got gorier and gorier, and he still turned a little green telling them, but he stuck it through the second time and seemed to do ok. And really, compared to what Mom is doing at the time, a little gross-out factor is nothing.

[Trepidation_Mom]

Originally posted by TexLex
I don't think the Mr. will be making it through the delivery - he descibed the birth film we just saw as "fucking revolting." I have no desire to force him to be there for the grand finale if that's what he's going to be thinking.

Trepidation Dad has this concern, too. He says he's felt this way ever since seeing the infamous childbirth film in health class in high school, but since blabbing the joyous news to his sports team buddies (to many cries of "3 months? I saw your wife about 3 months ago yukk yukk yukk"), he's also talked to a number of the dads on the team about it. He said a surprisingly large proportion of them told him of their distress at having been in the birthing room, having found the whole thing unforgettably disgusting, and then not even being able to talk to their wives about it because they are supposed to be happy about having shared such a magical moment.

One said it was so bad he often can't get it up with his wife anymore because sex with her makes him think about it (which seems an unacceptable outcome to even risk). One said his relationship deteriorated greatly after telling his partner that he didn't want to be present for the birth of his second child after having been pretty traumatized by the first. Besides the gross-out factor, there was one guy who said he hasn't been able to feel comfortable around his wife for several years since she (reportedly) grabbed his nuts while she was in labor and squeezed screaming "you bastard, this is all your fault!!!"

Maybe I should get him a log-in here. Of the dad-friends he's discussed this with, he said that even those who didn't think it was actually a mistake to be present merely said it wasn't that bad (and called the complainers "little girly-men" - it's a team). No one recommended it as an experience.

Perhaps I should clarify that Trepidation Dad's sports team is disproportionately Scottish, Finnish and South American.

(Hope I'm living up to my moniker.)