imaginary friends to fill the void that is your gaping gash.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
The only remotely Catholic thing I plan to do is diddle a few altar boys on Easter.

Did we define "diddle"? Under my understanding of the term a boy cannot be "diddled." Still, nice work pushing that "I am gay" thing. Jump on that bandwagon, Flower.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Did we define "diddle"? Under my understanding of the term a boy cannot be "diddled." Still, nice work pushing that "I am gay" thing. Jump on that bandwagon, Flower.

In Victorian porn, both boys and girls can be diddled. Dunno if the definition of the word has morphed much since the 1890s.

ETA: I love this comment from an amazon.com reader on the book I cited.

I read this book when I was 15. It is illegal even to sell it in my country but I got it. English is my third language and I was never good in it until I read this book. The language written in this book is so beautiful that I have always been thankful to it for helping me to become an English Language teacher now. Had it not for it, I would still think that English is a difficult foreign language without much fun. From here, after reading it, it stirred my interest to read more English books and I shifted from eroticas to Clancy and Shakespeare. This book will always be my pride. I have always thought of using it in a classroom but due to its nature, and my country's policy, I have to refrain. To any other English Language educators out there, please air your view in regards to this book's English.

[SEC_Chick]

Having nevet been to Mardi Gras before, I learned a few things this past weekend:

1. It is absolutely everything that the episode of COPS led me to believe.

2. At least as often as not, the people walking around half naked are the ones you'd rather see covered up (for example, the four women in their late 50s walking around topless with their TITS! airbrush painted).

3. I have never seen more gay men's asses in my life. And I'm from Santa Fe.

4. Having a friend who lives on Bourbon St. is very cool.

All I have to show for it is an 80 lb bag of beads and some King Cake. And the vomit I need to clean off my boots.



Online dating ketchup:

On a mutual dare, a friend and I put up profiles on Match.com. I put it up before leaving for work in the morning and checked my email after I got home. I got a little freaked and took down my profile ASAP, so it was only up for about 12 hrs. I then went through the responses, and Mr. Chick's was number 7. The rest of them were about 2-3 maybes and about 20 definite nos. But his was the only one I responded to and we met a couple of days later. Yada, yada, yada....

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
As long everythings being done properly, who cares what she's thinking about? I'd rather get good head from a woman who's thinking of someone else than bad head from a woman who's thinking about me.

Having those as your choices must be a bummer.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
hmmm lets try again



How come the picture worked before but not now? Is someone deleting it ?

Wow, that picture just gets funnier every time you post it.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Also, don't make bets involving your testicles. Dunno if it was Red Bull related or not, but Welsh guy bet his friends that he'd cut off his testicles if Wales beat the UK. They did, and he did.

Wales is part of the UK. The bet involved Wales beating England.

If you follow soccer, even a little bit, this should now make a certain kind of sense.

eta: the score was 11-9???? Jesus H.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
In Victorian porn, both boys and girls can be diddled. Dunno if the definition of the word has morphed much since the 1890s.

ETA: I love this comment from an amazon.com reader on the book I cited.

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I read this book when I was 15. It is illegal even to sell it in my country but I got it. English is my third language and I was never good in it until I read this book. The language written in this book is so beautiful that I have always been thankful to it for helping me to become an English Language teacher now. Had it not for it, I would still think that English is a difficult foreign language without much fun. From here, after reading it, it stirred my interest to read more English books and I shifted from eroticas to Clancy and Shakespeare. This book will always be my pride. I have always thought of using it in a classroom but due to its nature, and my country's policy, I have to refrain. To any other English Language educators out there, please air your view in regards to this book's English.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ah, yes. The old erotica-Clancy-Shakespeare reading trajectory.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
The only remotely Catholic thing I plan to do is diddle a few altar boys on Easter.

Please. no one here sees you as a pitcher.

[LessinSF]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I would imagine that GWNC, like me, is TRYING to limit the field to those who would not expect her to want marriage and children simply because she is a woman. Attitudes change and relationships develop, yes, but it is really irritating to have people consistently state, to my face, that I (and others like me) will "change my mind" re kids. NO - I FUCKING WON'T. This does not make me immature or selfish. Quite the contrary.

I wish more women would state this stuff honestly in their profiles or when we meet in person. I would respond to a woman I am on the fence about, all other things being equal, if I knew up front that we felt the same way about marriage, kids, religion, etc.

My response to the "you will change your mind" comments about kids is "Jesus, I'm sorry you chose to have yours knowing you were going to change your mind and regret it. Kinda cruel."

My favorite response to the question "When are you going to get married?" is "When are you going to get divorced?" Married people normally just love it.

[LessinSF]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I always thought it was:

Q. What's the best thing about fucking a 14-year old in the shower?

A. Pulling her hair back to make her look 11.

What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?

The nine year old boy in my trunk.

Apologies if I told this joke already, but it makes me laugh every time.

Originally posted by SEC_Chick

Dare to join Match, freakded out, only online for twelve hours, 25ish responses.

Translation: My name is SEC Chick and I love my body

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
Wow, that picture just gets funnier every time you post it.

Translation: The resemblance is uncanny

Hmm, on some screens its a red x but on yours it isnt? I dont get it.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by paigowprincess

Hmm, on some screens its a red x but on yours it isnt? I dont get it.

I activated the self-delete feature. I like Slave, plus I was not properly compensated.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
Wales is part of the UK. The bet involved Wales beating England.

If you follow soccer, even a little bit, this should now make a certain kind of sense.

eta: the score was 11-9???? Jesus H.

It was rugby, not soccer.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by LessinSF
What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?

The nine year old boy in my trunk.

Apologies if I told this joke already, but it makes me laugh every time.

My sister and I heard this joke in a bar recently, and she repeated it to some friends. I think it works better when the teller is male.