To fuck or to cook?

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by Fugee
I found this book:



There is a recipe in it for Cooter Pie. I'm not sure what cooter is (other than in the context of Lawtalkers) but it is in the chapter "Fish, Cooter & Shrimp." The recipe starts out:

"First you take a live cooter and wait for him to stick his head out from under his shell. When he does, you grab it and whack it off."

Don't think we'll be serving that at the Fugee Family Thanksgiving.

I actually own that book. Gag gift from some family member or another a few years back. Mmmmmm, cooter pie.

Won't be consulting that book on Thursday, however. Instead, I'm going with this.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Fugee
I found this book:



There is a recipe in it for Cooter Pie. I'm not sure what cooter is (other than in the context of Lawtalkers) but it is in the chapter "Fish, Cooter & Shrimp." The recipe starts out:

"First you take a live cooter and wait for him to stick his head out from under his shell. When he does, you grab it and whack it off."

Don't think we'll be serving that at the Fugee Family Thanksgiving.

I'm to bring dessert to a dinner party where I've been invited. does the book have a phone number where I can order one?

ps: I'm not randomly judgement- there is a clear pattern.

[Fugee]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I'm to bring dessert to a dinner party where I've been invited. does the book have a phone number where you can order one?

ps: I'm not randomely judgement- there is a clear pattern.

You can order it from Amazon -- used it is only $5.49.

I have this book and could post any dessert recipe you might be interested in.

The notable recipes for desserts are:
Our Lord's Scripture Cake (basically a nasty fruitcake with Bible verses in the recipe)
Resurrection Cake
Grand Canyon Cake
Potato Chocolate Cake
Reba's Rainbow Ice-Box Cake
Fanny's Fruit-Cocktail Cobbler
Russian Communist Tea Cakes
Cheese Ice-Box Cookies
Tar Babies
Bishop's Hat Fig Surprise

[Fugee]

A couple of the recipes are too priceless to not share.

Resurrection Cake

Take one cake mix, your choice. Mix as directed on box. Pour in a well-greased cake pan, kind of deep. Over the top pour a pint of stewed pears or other fruit of your choice. Can fruit will do fine, but home-canned is best.

Then cover the top of the fruit with pats of oleo, or butter, and sprinkle with a good coat of sugar.

Stick in pre-heated oven 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes, or until cake has risen to hide the fruit and is brown. Eat hot with a good strong whiskey sauce.

Whiskey Sauce

2 cups of sugar
1/2 lb. of butter (2 sticks)
1 teaspoon pure vanilla
1 cup of Jack Daniels Black Label
1 pinch of salt

Blend sugar and butter and vanilla until mixed completely. Then add whiskey bit by bit, mixing until it is a nice, loose, creamy sauce. The sugar is supposed to be grainy.

Pour over resurrection cake and it's guaranteed to resurrect.

Grand Canyon Cake (This recipe also uses the whiskey sauce above. Fugee)

2 boxes of plain white cake mix
2 cans of chocolate icing
1 cup of whiskey sauce

Mix cake mixes like they tell you on the box. Then divide each cake mix into half and color each one of the four layers in a different color, such as red, yellow, green, and blue. Then bake them separately in 8-inch cake pans until done. Cool them off before you start to put the icing on. Now put a layer of cake and a layer of icing until you've used up all the cake. You should have enough to cover it generously; if not, run to the store and buy another can. After it's covered, take 2 big forls and stick them in the middle of the top of the cake and force on it until it cracks open and you can see all the color layers. Now pour your whisky sauce into the crack and let the cake absorb it. Let it stand for 3 or 4 hours before serving.

This is a wonderful treat for someone that's going to, or just got back from vacationing at, the Grand Canyon. It's also very educational for children.

Fugee sez: Educational for children?????

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
ps: I'm not randomly judgement- there is a clear pattern.

Jesus, give me some fucking credit for once. That was so bad it was a whoof.

[Fugee]

Some of these recipes could almost be Minnesotan, with the use of jello and canned fruit!

Fanny's Fruit-Cocktail Cobbler

1 box yellow Betty Crocker cake mix
2 cans fruit cocktail (No. 2-1/2)
2 sticks oleo

Pour fruit cocktail, juice and all, into a well-greased oblong cake pan. (Fugee sez this sounds like your basic 9x13 cake pan.) Spoon prepared cake mix over this. Melt oleo and pour over mix. Cook at 350 degrees for one hour, or until brown.

Fugee sez: Nothing says white trash like fruit cocktail and 2 sticks of margerine! I suspect this cake could benefit from liberal amounts of whiskey sauce as well.

Reba's Rainbow Ice-Box Cake

1 cup confectioner's sugar
2 egg yolks
1 cup pecans
2 boxes cherry Jello
1/2 cup oleo
1 No. 2 can Dole crushed pineapple
2 boxes lime Jello
1 box (medium size) Graham crackers

Cream your sugar, oleo and egg yolks, and then add your strained pineapple and nutes. Beat your egg whites stiff and fold them in. Then place a layer of Graham crackers on the bottom of a pan, pour in the mixture, and put in the ice box to chill.

Now fix your cherry Jello as for regular use, except use pineapply juice for one cup of water and the other just plain water. Don't pour this mixture over the other mixture in the ice box until it's ready to congeal.

Next fix your lime Jello and let set in the ice box until ready to congeal. Then whip with the egg beater until fluffy and spread it over the pan of mixtures. After this has all congealed, whip one half pint of cream and cover the whole thing.

Slice and serve topped with cherries if you got 'em; if you don't, don't.

Reba says you can put as many layers of Graham crackers as you like.

Serves about 15. Excellent for Tupperware parties.

Fugee sez: In Minnesota, this would be considered a salad. She also thinks the Tar Babies sound sinfully good.

Tar Babies

Make a Plain and Good Biscuit Dough. (Fugee: there is a recipe for what looks to be basic baking powder biscuits -- except that white trash make them with hog lard.) Pat it out about 1/2 inch thick with good floured hands. Heavily butter this and put a good coat of dark brown sugar on it too. Then sprinkle on some chopped pecans and roll it up like a piece of clothes you've dampened for ironing. Cut into twenty rounds and put in a cookie sheet (with sides) that has been greased real good. Sprinkle on some more brown sugar but now put on a good dusting of cinnamon. You can add more chopped pecans right here if you want to. Turn on your oven to 400 degrees and bake until they are bright brown. Pull them out and break off hunks of a plain old Hershey Bar and place a hunk on top of every roll. Put back in the oven until the Hershey melts. Now they become Tar Babies. Take out of the pan while they are still hot and serve. Warning: once you pick them up you can't put them down until they're all gone 'cause they are stuck to you.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
I actually own that book. Gag gift from some family member or another a few years back. Mmmmmm, cooter pie.

Won't be consulting that book on Thursday, however. Instead, I'm going with this.

That's the recipe we've used chez dtb for the last few years. It always turns out so well, but this year, the cook said he doesn't feel like going to all that trouble. This year, he wanted to deep fry the turkey, but, happily, the buying of the vat for such purpose somehow slipped my mind.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by dtb
That's the recipe we've used chez dtb for the last few years. It always turns out so well, but this year, the cook said he doesn't feel like going to all that trouble. This year, he wanted to deep fry the turkey, but, happily, the buying of the vat for such purpose somehow slipped my mind.

In defense of your cook, I note that older brother Not Nick has gone the fried turkey route the last couple of years (he occasionally hosts Thanksgiving and Generic Winter Gift-Giving Holiday dinners at his place), and it does taste mighty fine. And it frees up the oven for all of the other stuff that gets made, although with the cassaroles that his M-I-L insists on making, perhaps that is Not A Good Thing.

There are downsides, of course. The whole huge vat of boiling hot oil thingy really makes me nervous, especially if (like Not Nick) you have several hundred dogs, cats, pot-bellied pigs, iguanas, and children running around when you are cooking it. Also, there are no pan-drippings for making gravy.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Fugee

There is a recipe in it for Cooter Pie. I'm not sure what cooter is (other than in the context of Lawtalkers)

A turtle.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Not Bob
There are downsides, of course. The whole huge vat of boiling hot oil thingy really makes me nervous, especially if (like Not Nick) you have several hundred dogs, cats, pot-bellied pigs, iguanas, and children running around when you are cooking it. Also, there are no pan-drippings for making gravy.

More garages have burned down since the intro of this appliance than in the entire 200 years prior.

Okay, slight exaggeration, but they're just incredibly dangerous. Do it slightly wrong, and watch the flames shoot up ten or more feet, (usually into the garage rafters, since that's where all the truly slow people set them up) and then try to figure out how to put out the world's biggest grease fire without tipping the bucket.

But, yeah, it's mighty tasty.

[bold_n_brazen]

The pumpkin pie ice cream has been made, and is in the freezer. The coffee ice cream (required by my father for admittance) is in custard form in the fridge, just waiting for the ice cream machine to re-freeze.

I am halfway into the jello mold my mother requested.

I'm going to do the Brandy Alexander cheesecake tonight.

Which leaves mashed potatos, creamed corn, and onion tart for tomorrow (although the crusts are already made).

I wish I could be one of those people who loves Thanksgiving, but I'm not. It's not really any of my favorite foods, and it's a whole lot of work. But hey, all you people who love Thanksgiving, good for you!

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by dtb
chez

dtb, when you post French, you drive me wild.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
dtb, when you post French, you drive me wild.

mais, bien sur

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
The pumpkin pie ice cream has been made, and is in the freezer. The coffee ice cream (required by my father for admittance) is in custard form in the fridge, just waiting for the ice cream machine to re-freeze.

I am halfway into the jello mold my mother requested.

I'm going to do the Brandy Alexander cheesecake tonight.

Which leaves mashed potatos, creamed corn, and onion tart for tomorrow (although the crusts are already made).

I wish I could be one of those people who loves Thanksgiving, but I'm not. It's not really any of my favorite foods, and it's a whole lot of work. But hey, all you people who love Thanksgiving, good for you!

Turkey? Stuffing? Gravy?

Maybe someone else is bringing those and I missed it.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Fugee
I found this book:



There is a recipe in it for Cooter Pie. I'm not sure what cooter is (other than in the context of Lawtalkers) but it is in the chapter "Fish, Cooter & Shrimp." The recipe starts out:

"First you take a live cooter and wait for him to stick his head out from under his shell. When he does, you grab it and whack it off."

Don't think we'll be serving that at the Fugee Family Thanksgiving.

Snapping turtle. Hence the derivation of the <sniff> Paigow </sniff> usage of the term.