Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by spookyfish
You have a big dick? Well, there's another image totally shot to hell.

Not Bob can explain.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
It is touching, really.

That person has views antithetical to everything this board stands for. In particular: "I take it as my duty to inform you that due to the nature of reality, two bodies may not simultaneously occupy the same space."

Relatedly, I would like to complain that the chap next to me on the plane today was too muscular. When he'd try to put his arms down by his side, they'd spring back up, akimbo. Like I wanted to touch him for those hundreds of miles. Gross! Give me a fatty, please -- they're much less firm when you push back.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Alex_de_Large
FYI, a google images search reveals several topless pics of Ms. Holmes. She's not that bad.

You know the Holocaust? Picture the opposite of that.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
You know the Holocaust? Picture the opposite of that.

Odd -- with her clothes on, she doesn't look that fleshy.

[Jack Manfred]

Does anyone have any advance info on the lineup for ACL this fall?

Similar to Coachella?

Sorry to post and run, but there's been problems at home.

[lookingformarket]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Is the hotel sex so great because of the time spent imagining who else has deposited their bodily fluids on the comforter since it was last washed or is there some other, less obvious draw?

It's because that means she is dealing with the high class johns and she doesn't get gravel in her knees.

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Conf to SF GAs: i'm not sure I'm going to SF on vacation after all.

Don't be coy. All the Chelsea boys are still asking when "Hotlips" is coming back to town.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by ironweed
Don't be coy. All the Chelsea boys are still asking when "Hotlips" is coming back to town.

if you'd just take Thurgreed off ignore and read his advice posts I'm sure the guys would soon be happier with the local talent. oh and get a doc to look after the piles too.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by mmm3587
Why? Did one of your clients slip outside my building? Or is this one of those "Jesus is killing me with radiation and the tin foil does no good" suits. Make sure that you at least make them pay the court costs up front on those.

Black & Decker.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Is the hotel sex so great because of the time spent imagining who else has deposited their bodily fluids on the comforter since it was last washed or is there some other, less obvious draw?

I think you fuck more in hotels because there's less distraction. You don't see chores to do around the house or errands to run. Plus you're usually away, away from your goddamned boring job (whatever it is), which depresses you, consequently inhibiting your sex drive.

I get insanely horny if I've been away from work for 24 hours. Its fucked up, like I'm a machine. As soon as the shit part of my existence is relegated to the back of my brain, the sex drive comes roaring back.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
I find tall highly inconvenient. Big dicks are always good, though.

So you're looking for a short guy with a big crank? That might be the first time I've heard a woman ask for that combo. Kinda like ordering a wine spritzer with a side car of 151.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
She did just fine post-ring giving. Called the parents, yada-yada-yada, then met my closest friend (who knew it was going to happen) and her two closest friends out for drinks. Called everyone the next day. Perfectly acceptable.

Hey, congrats on getting engaged. Stay the fuck out of the wedding planning.

And take a three week honeymoon, off US soil.

Enjoy this ride. Its a lot of fun. No better feeling in the world than sliding into the airplane seat headed for your honeymoon.

Be very conscious not to become a now-that-I'm-married-I'm-settled-down slugs. Marriage is a cool gig if you keep it in persepctive, but lots of folks let it it turn them into fat, slow, old douchebags before their time. Don't have kids until you fucking have to. Life's short. You don't want to spend the remainder of the years in which you can get yer ya yas out cleaning fucking diapers. If the in laws press for grandkids, tell them to go get hormone treatments and have some motherfucking kids of their own.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Hey, congrats on getting engaged. Stay the fuck out of the wedding planning.

And take a three week honeymoon, off US soil.

Enjoy this ride. Its a lot of fun. No better feeling in the world than sliding into the airplane seat headed for your honeymoon.

Be very conscious not to become a now-that-I'm-married-I'm-settled-down slugs. Marriage is a cool gig if you keep it in persepctive, but lots of folks let it it turn them into fat, slow, old douchebags before their time. Don't have kids until you fucking have to. Life's short. You don't want to spend the remainder of the years in which you can get yer ya yas out cleaning fucking diapers. If the in laws press for grandkids, tell them to go get hormone treatments and have some motherfucking kids of their own.

Luckily, my parents and the inlaws already have grandkids.

I'm thinking the Italian Riveria for the honeymoon. Really wanted to go to New Zealand, but it will be the wrong time of the year.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Luckily, my parents and the inlaws already have grandkids.

I'm thinking the Italian Riveria for the honeymoon. Really wanted to go to New Zealand, but it will be the wrong time of the year.

Oh, I love Italy. Great pizza. And lots of cats.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Oh, I love Italy. Great pizza. And lots of cats.

I recall beautiful women in Florence. And dirty fucking trains. The Catholic european countries have terrible rail systems.