imaginary friends to fill the void that is your gaping gash.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
At least you have a valentine. Be happy with that, give him a blow job of thanks, and move on.

I'm going to go see porn, sans Valentine.

My mom got a front-end loader for a tractor one year.

"If you like big breasts, plush toys, naked women covered in food, girlfights, hot dykes in uniforms, pierced bodies, leather, or even just eavesdropping on phone sex, you just might enjoy a guilt-free night of pleasure at Venus on Video."

What's not to like about that?!?

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Paris Hilton is Playboy’s new cover girl — but Hilton’s people are none-too-thrilled about it, because the partying heiress never posed for the mag.

“I’m afraid that people will see it and think Paris posed for Playboy, which she did not,” Hilton’s spokeswoman Gina Hoffman told The Scoop. “I don’t even know where they got that photo.” The picture looks somewhat fleshier than many of Hilton, but a spokeswoman for the mag assures The Scoop that the photo wasn’t altered.

Yes, the woman in the pic is definitely fleshy. With big feet. That's got to be her. But what's even more disturbing is the caption "Debbie Gibson nude."

New Rule. No more Paris Hilton posts. SHe is the most useless,waste of money, nacissist on the face of the planet. Put her on the collective ignore list please.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
We do that every other night of the year. That's nothing special.

That's my point. On VD, I actually help. It's the gift that keeps on giving. At least until the food is eaten and it's time for clean-up.*

*then it stops giving.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
New Rule. No more Paris Hilton posts. SHe is the most useless,waste of money, nacissist on the face of the planet. Put her on the collective ignore list please.

I hear she wears size 11 shoes.

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
OK gang, only 4 more shopping days until Valentine's Day. I am getting taken out to dinner. My husband bought me diamond earrings last year and says that I broke him.
I like the usual things - jewelry, chocolate. I'm not a big fan of the flowers that die in 2 days.

What are you guys getting?

Here's a sad story from one woman...

Q: My husband is the most unromantic man on earth. If he remembers Valentine’s Day at all, he gets me something like a flashlight. How can I make him understand that a household tool is not a suitable gift?

A flashlight. If I got a flashlight for Valentine's Day I can assure you that unless it made a humming noise when turned on, that flashlight would be used to beat a husband.

I'm playing a soccer game on Valentine's Day. On the bright side, it's a coed team so at least there will be men in the general area. (No, the boob-grabber won't be there. He plays in one of my other leagues.)

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I am not a Caroline Bessette Kennedy fan but I really don't think it is fair to blame her for Diana's death, and certainly not for the problems in her marriage.

But she was wealthy looking.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
New Rule. No more Paris Hilton posts. SHe is the most useless,waste of money, nacissist on the face of the planet. Put her on the collective ignore list please.

I would trade places with Paris in a heartbeat. She doesn't have to work 16 hours days under the harsh glow of flourescent lights. Her days are filled with endless shopping and spa visits. Followed by drug use, alcohol abuse and random sex. I would have size 11 shoes. Whatever she has is better than this.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
ABBA is my valentine this year but I don't think she would object to your being our valentine.

Either that or I could probably set you up with a late-night moonwalker.

I think it would be great for all of us to be Valentines.

Originally posted by NotFromHere
I would trade places with Paris in a heartbeat. She doesn't have to work 16 hours days under the harsh glow of flourescent lights. Her days are filled with endless shopping and spa visits. Followed by drug use, alcohol abuse and random sex. I would have size 11 shoes. Whatever she has is better than this.

Yes, but who woudl post all the exciting news links? How are Brad and ANgelina doing anyway?

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I hear she wears size 11 shoes.

Does that mean she has a really deep vagina?

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Yes, but who woudl post all the exciting news links? How are Brad and ANgelina doing anyway?

That would be Paris' cross to bear in order to wear a shoe size 6 sizes down from where she is now. Small feet, crappy life - no sunlight.

Not that you really care, but Brad says in a recent People that he very much wants to get back together with Jennifer. I'm sure it's because Angelina is scary IRL and has many issues.

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are still living together, fuelling yet more speculation their split is not permanent. It had been reported that the former 'Friends' beauty had moved out of the Hollywood home she shared with the heartthrob actor and was living with her hair stylist, Chris McMillan.


It was also claimed that Jennifer was set to move back into the home she lived in before she married Brad and had asked 'Ali G' star Sacha Baron Cohen and his fiancée, Isla Fisher, who had been renting it, to move out. However, Jennifer's spokesman says there is no truth in either story, but refused to comment on whether the couple was sharing a bedroom.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
It was also claimed that Jennifer was set to move back into the home she lived in before she married Brad and had asked 'Ali G' star Sacha Baron Cohen and his fiancée, Isla Fisher, who had been renting it, to move out. However, Jennifer's spokesman says there is no truth in either story, but refused to comment on whether the couple was sharing a bedroom.

If I were her, I'd check the well before moving back in.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
'Ali G' star Sacha Baron Cohen and his fiancée, Isla Fisher

I have no idea if this is the same woman, but Google seems to think that Isla Fisher is very hot.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Anne Elk
Does that mean she has a really deep vagina?

No, short girls have deep vaginas. Taller girls' vaginas are shallow.

[Alex_de_Large]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
No, short girls have deep vaginas. Taller girls' vaginas are shallow.

Isla Fisher must have a really deep vagina, then.