Fashion Board 3-5-04 to 4-6-04

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Atleast when I attack fatties and tools, I liven it up by coming from new angles and experimenting with new levels of vitriol and hyperbole.

Keep telling yourself that. Your history proves otherwise.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
They're all sucker play slots, jackass.

TM

Touché.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by taxwonk
If you really cared, you'd have fixed the graphic as well.

Fixed how -- by removing the comb over?

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Fixed how -- by removing the comb over?

That would be a good start.

[YKW]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Fixed how -- by removing the comb over?

Hmmm, that sounds more catty than foxy. Touché.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
I've seen a cell phone spontaneously combust once, but apparently it was just a short circuit. BTW, don't use your cell phone while gassing up your car.

There has never been a documented case of a gas station fire caused by a cell phone. Nevertheless, you shouldn't use your cell phone while fuelling your car because (1) it distracts you from handling a volatile and flammable substance, which should ideally command your total 100% fucking attention; and (2) it makes you look like a tool (hi, Sebby!). But actually sparking a fuel tank fire from a cell phone would pretty much require both that the phone burst into flames (unlikely) and for you to drop it into your tank or hold it, as it burns, right alongside the tank spout (difficult). The guys on "Mythbusters" tested this, and they found it was almost impossible to get enough vapor density to ignite, even in an enclosed space.

What you SHOULD NEVER DO is get back into your car while the tank fills. When you get out again, you'll pick up static electricity, which can they be carried back into a car when you touch the nozzle again --- and the spark will leap from the tip of the nozzle into the interior of the fuel tank, which is a pretty serious situation because the interior of the fuel tank has enough vapor density to ignite with a spark. Several people die horrifically every year doing this, especially mothers tending to children in carseats, and especially in cold dry weather where static is an issue. You can thank me when you don't burn to a crisp.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
There has never been a documented case of a gas station fire caused by a cell phone. Nevertheless, you shouldn't use your cell phone while fuelling your car because (1) it distracts you from handling a volatile and flammable substance, which should ideally command your total 100% fucking attention; and (2) it makes you look like a tool (hi, Sebby!). But actually sparking a fuel tank fire from a cell phone would pretty much require both that the phone burst into flames (unlikely) and for you to drop it into your tank or hold it, as it burns, right alongside the tank spout (difficult). The guys on "Mythbusters" tested this, and they found it was almost impossible to get enough vapor density to ignite, even in an enclosed space.

What you SHOULD NEVER DO is get back into your car while the tank fills. When you get out again, you'll pick up static electricity, which can they be carried back into a car when you touch the nozzle again --- and the spark will leap from the tip of the nozzle into the interior of the fuel tank, which is a pretty serious situation because the interior of the fuel tank has enough vapor density to ignite with a spark. Several people die horrifically every year doing this, especially mothers tending to children in carseats, and especially in cold dry weather where static is an issue. You can thank me when you don't burn to a crisp.

Can I go inside the gas station to buy porno while I'm filling up? B/c I do this frequently.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/4669114/
“Someone wrote to us saying the solution was to sacrifice a black goat and collect its blood. At some point, that’s going to start looking like a good idea.”

While fun, I have not found goat sacrifice and attendant blood collecting to be particularly effective in stopping spontanious combustion, regardless of the goat's race (gender, national origin, and sexual orientation too, for that matter). Children are another matter altogether. Think of the children.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Can I go inside the gas station to buy porno while I'm filling up? B/c I do this frequently.

Take measures to avoid static buildup. You will have to rely on available materials, MacGyver.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Take measures to avoid static buildup. You will have to rely on available materials, MacGyver.

Are you suggesting the bathroom, a Club mag and some Snuggle?

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
There has never been a documented case of a gas station fire caused by a cell phone. Nevertheless, you shouldn't use your cell phone while fuelling your car because (1) it distracts you from handling a volatile and flammable substance, which should ideally command your total 100% fucking attention; and (2) it makes you look like a tool (hi, Sebby!). But actually sparking a fuel tank fire from a cell phone would pretty much require both that the phone burst into flames (unlikely) and for you to drop it into your tank or hold it, as it burns, right alongside the tank spout (difficult). The guys on "Mythbusters" tested this, and they found it was almost impossible to get enough vapor density to ignite, even in an enclosed space.

What you SHOULD NEVER DO is get back into your car while the tank fills. When you get out again, you'll pick up static electricity, which can they be carried back into a car when you touch the nozzle again --- and the spark will leap from the tip of the nozzle into the interior of the fuel tank, which is a pretty serious situation because the interior of the fuel tank has enough vapor density to ignite with a spark. Several people die horrifically every year doing this, especially mothers tending to children in carseats, and especially in cold dry weather where static is an issue. You can thank me when you don't burn to a crisp.

Every so often, I'm really happy that we're not allowed to pump our own gas here in Orygun.

[Atticus Grinch]

First we had the revolution in desktop publishing, allowing every schmoe to create a crappy newsletter about cats.

Then we had a revolution in desktop photo editing, allowing every schmoe to drop a young John Kerry into even more photographs of Jane Fonda.

Now, we have another quality of life reducing revolution at hand: web-based automated telemarketing phone calls. Yeah, because getting people to respond to an e-vite was such a pain in the ass, now you can fucking call up to 400 people with a recorded message about your shitty-ass party.

Wake me up when the rest of the world realizes this is a bad idea.

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Hank, speaking of sacrificial goats, which Dark Lord did you guys in Detroit give offerings to? The Tigers won their opener. That must have cost a lot in goats or virgins or whatever.

RT, I say this with deepest respect and affection, but go fuck yourself. That never happened.

Str(it's gonna be a long summer, so go leafs go)8

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Take measures to avoid static buildup. You will have to rely on available materials, MacGyver.

I guess this means no Sapphire Seductress.

[Sidd Finch]

There is a helicopter flying outside my window, carrying a giant "A".