Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by andViolins
Yet another reason as to why Cleveland is truly the most tortured city in America in terms of major league sports. Most people I know are simply waiting for day that the ACME anvil or random baby grand piano to fall on LeBron's head.

aV

Won't happen. He'll be out of there before the string holding the overhanging piano even starts to fray.

TM

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Take a picture of her at the gym, write down the placard number, and send it to the DMV or whoever gives those things away.

Now, that's just petty. She should break her kneecaps instead.

TM

[Shape Shifter]

I was never molested by Michael Jackson.

[robustpuppy]

Name on the commercial van seen parked in front of a home under constrcution in my neighborhood today:

Peed Plumbing

[taxwonk]

From the opinion in United States v. Murphy, Nos. 04-2032, 04-2293, and 04-2309, slip op. (7th Cir. May 4, 2005), at note 1:

1 The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called
her a snitch bitch “hoe.” A “hoe,” of course, is a tool used for
weeding and gardening. We think the court reporter, unfamiliar
with rap music (perhaps thankfully so), misunderstood Hayden’s
response. We have taken the liberty of changing “hoe” to “ho,” a
staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris
raps “You doin’ ho activities with ho tendencies.”

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Now, that's just petty. She should break her kneecaps instead.

TM

Then she'd get to use the good parking space legitimately.

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
?Huh? Where would you write in that court? On the back of the tickets?

It was a small part of the opinion denying your mom's fourth habeas petition. With a son as smart as you, I'm surprised she chose to argue sufficiency of evidence -- that shit never works, especially with the sheet she had.

Originally posted by taxwonk
From the opinion in United States v. Murphy, Nos. 04-2032, 04-2293, and 04-2309, slip op. (7th Cir. May 4, 2005), at note 1:

1 The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called
her a snitch bitch “hoe.” A “hoe,” of course, is a tool used for
weeding and gardening. We think the court reporter, unfamiliar
with rap music (perhaps thankfully so), misunderstood Hayden’s
response. We have taken the liberty of changing “hoe” to “ho,” a
staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris
raps “You doin’ ho activities with ho tendencies.”

Wonk Of The Day!

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Won't happen. He'll be out of there before the string holding the overhanging piano even starts to fray.

TM

I keep hearing people say this, and I'm trying to figure out exactly why? Is it because you can't be a major sports star unless you're playing in a "major sports city"? You don't think that he can get the endorsement dollars anyway by merely being the player he is? Do you think Nike, PepsiCo, etc., is going to convince him that he has to go to New York, L.A. or Chicago to fully realize his status as a superstar?

I'm not arguing with you, I'm just curious as to why people think this. Jordan stayed with the Bulls following some years where they really sucked, and Chicago built the team around him, and look what they did. Say what you want, but don't you think if Cleveland did the same thing for him, he wouldn't like the idea of bringing a championship to an area he grew up in? One that hasn't seen a championship in over a generation? I have to think that has to hold some appeal for him.

But maybe I'm just hoping he doesn't bolt for seemingly greener pastures.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Then she'd get to use the good parking space legitimately.

Right, bad idea, it would be more unjust enrichment than poetic justice, and that lazy-ass would probably find a way to get a workman's comp. or disability package out of it.

In other news about other assholes, the frozen-custard-severed-finger-finder refused to return said finger (hi, you!) to the doctor treating the poor schmoe who lost it so that it could be reattached. Said finder should have his kneecaps busted.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Right, bad idea, it would be more unjust enrichment than poetic justice, and that lazy-ass would probably find a way to get a workman's comp. or disability package out of it.

In other news about other assholes, the frozen-custard-severed-finger-finder refused to return said finger (hi, you!) to the doctor treating the poor schmoe who lost it so that it could be reattached. Said finder should have his kneecaps busted.

That sounds like excellent source material for a sig line.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
That sounds like excellent source material for a sig line.

There's always money in the banana stand!

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by spookyfish
I keep hearing people say this, and I'm trying to figure out exactly why? Is it because you can't be a major sports star unless you're playing in a "major sports city"? You don't think that he can get the endorsement dollars anyway by merely being the player he is? Do you think Nike, PepsiCo, etc., is going to convince him that he has to go to New York, L.A. or Chicago to fully realize his status as a superstar?

Yes. Apparently his contract w/Nike promotes the move to a big city.* I don't know the details, but he gets more $$ (from Nike) by playing in a major market.

*I've heard this. I haven't seen the contract.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Then she'd get to use the good parking space legitimately.

I never thought you'd whiff on something like this.

TM

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Yes. Apparently his contract w/Nike promotes the move to a big city.* I don't know the details, but he gets more $$ (from Nike) by playing in a major market.

*I've heard this. I haven't seen the contract.

Fuck Nike, then. Rat-fucking bastards.