Fashion Board 2-3-04 to 3-5-04

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
(i grew 11 inches that summer)

One day I whine to the coach

I stumble around, slashing at people. 2 turnovers 3 fouls in about 1.5 minutes.

Now I know why we don't get along. You're Luke Walton.

TM

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
My dear girl, that is what is known as a Lestertini. Did you get your little cherry popped by a spittle wielding chinster that day?

My folks used to get a case of whiskey as a gift from some REALLY nice friend every year. Having shit for brains, I would open good scotches, bourbon and various blended whiskeys and mix it all together and suck it down in the parking lot before school. When I think now what a waste of fantastic liquor that was I cringe. Its almost as bad as my selling their vintage 60s records (original Beatles and Stones stuff) to a used record store to buy Black Flag lps and Pink Floyd bootlegs. The real crime in childhood drinking is the atrocious waste of good liquor. I made gallons of Glenfiddich and cranberry juice in freshman year. Its a fucking sin.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
THe difference is, vaginaman, that you were admitting you were wrong, but you were doing it in the way a bratty little eight year old boy might. Its best not to admit your wrongness in the firstplace if you have to be so childish about it.

You must be the lawyer that provides the reason for why people write letters with sentences such as "Even if we were to admit that our client produced the chemical (which we do not). . . "

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Ahhh back when RC Cola and vodka seemed like a good idea...

Although I don't recall being hungover in high school. Ever. I remember waking up for Saturday soccer practice and having everybody tell me I smelled like booze, but I never felt bad.

I don't think I started getting them until college.

On that note, a friend of a good friend claims to have never been hungover. Ever. The good friend believes him and says he been around him enough to tell. Maybe he just has the most efficient liver in history.

Second worst hangover I've ever had was my freshman year of college. Ugh. I'd been exposed to TB that summer, and I was put on an anti-TB drug for 6 months that fucks up your liver if you drink alcohol with it. So to the delight of my parents, I'm the designated driver for the first six months of my college career. Week that I'm off the drug, happens to be the same week that the annual "let's see if we can make Playboy's top ten list again" party happens in my dorm. Buddy of mine and I manage to get ourselves in charge of giving out wristbands, so we can be sure to get hammered. Just in case, we also make tequila jello shots. But the jello doesn't harden, and we just end up slurping up the unhardened jello, having no idea how much we're drinking. Haven't eaten much, haven't drunk anything in at least six months, I'm plastered. I end up throwing up all over the guy I'd been mooning over that year, and thank god it was my own dorm, so getting me to bed wasn't that hard.

The next morning I hurt like I'd never hurt before. Light hurt, my stomach hurt. Drinking water hurt. Moving hurt. My dad called, since it was Easter Sunday, and gave me totally useless hangover advice (some of it involving menudo and something about a horse, a guitar and the moon), and I remember puking up water into a cup when I was on the phone with him. Eventually, I went down to our pool and discovered that if you float, no part of your body is actually touching anything hard and it doesn't hurt so bad. I just floated in the water for hours.

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
You must be the lawyer that provides the reason for why people write letters with sentences such as "Even if we were to admit that our client produced the chemical (which we do not). . . "

Nonresponsive, cooterman. but thanks for playing, you have been advised on how to appear more like a real man. you can take it or leave it.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Nonresponsive, cooterman. but thanks for playing, you have been advised on how to appear more like a real man. you can take it or leave it.

try reading and thinking before responding. like a real lawyer. you, too, can take it or leave it.

Fiance keeping you happy, it appears.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by barely_legal
It's easy to never get a hangover if you have a body that rids itself of excess alcohol before it can be completely absorbed. I've done a fair share of drinking and I've never had a hangover. I'm not proud of this b/c it means I've gotten up close and personal with quite a few toilets (and bushes, and the sides of roads, the sides of cars, various bathtubs, sinks, etc.)

When can we look forward to Installment #3 of the Crazy and Daring Adventures of Coltrane, His Asscrack, and His Posse of Chicken-Hating Psychos?

Somehow I get the worst of both worlds - healthy ridding mechanism AND hangovers. Life is unfair. But I am happy that I am unlikely to die of acute alcohol intoxication. Asphyxiation related thereto is another matter. That is why having a hair-holder is so important.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Did you get your little cherry popped by a spittle wielding chinster that day?

Does finger-banging a chick in 7th grade count as popping her cherry? It seems grossly unfair that if someone ever asks someday, some woman will have to say, "Well, this guy I barely knew popped my cherry after a high school basketball game in his friends' parents' garage."

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Does finger-banging a chick in 7th grade count as popping her cherry? It seems grossly unfair that if someone ever asks someday, some woman will have to say, "Well, this guy I barely knew popped my cherry after a high school basketball game in his friends' parents' garage."

It doesn't. And even if it did, rest assured she would not say that. High school boyfriend/first love is the standard response. Chick's rule # 237.

Ps. She won't call it "popped my cherry" either.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
It doesn't. And even if it did, rest assured she would not say that. High school boyfriend/first love is the standard response. Chick's rule # 237.

Ps. She won't call it "popped my cherry" either.

Really? Mine was a guy I barely knew. I think his name was Ed.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
It doesn't. And even if it did, rest assured she would not say that. High school boyfriend/first love is the standard response. Chick's rule # 237.

Isn't that like chicks rule #3, after

1. I'm saving it for marriage is always a valid answer.

and

2. Blowjobs don't count.

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
try reading and thinking before responding. like a real lawyer. you, too, can take it or leave it.

Fiance keeping you happy, it appears.

okay little boy, I am sending youi off to recess. you may have the last word as little boys love to do. even though you are wrong. btw, nice use of the lawyering skills insult. Wjhats next? Does my law school suck? what a tweaker.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Really? Mine was a guy I barely knew. I think his name was Ed.

Perhaps by standard response ncs did not mean truthful response.

The first guy I fucked was named Tom. The second was Dick. Sadly (from a story-telling perspective), the third was not Harry. He was the fifth.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan


The next morning I hurt like I'd never hurt before. Light hurt, my stomach hurt. Drinking water hurt. Moving hurt. My dad called, since it was Easter Sunday, and gave me totally useless hangover advice (some of it involving menudo and something about a horse, a guitar and the moon), and I remember puking up water into a cup when I was on the phone with him. Eventually, I went down to our pool and discovered that if you float, no part of your body is actually touching anything hard and it doesn't hurt so bad. I just floated in the water for hours.

I call this "House of Usher" hungover. Sensitivity to light, sound, texture and smell is increased exponentially. But in a bad way. A painful way.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Perhaps by standard response ncs did not mean truthful response.

The first guy I fucked was named Tom. The second was Dick. Sadly (from a story-telling perspective), the third was not Harry. He was the fifth.

I have never fucked anyone named Tom, Dick or Harry. That I remember at least.

Really, did the guy go by Dick? I've never met anyone our generation who went by Dick.