Missing the Paigow (et al.) [sniff]

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
have AOL IM at work now. Even though I can't use yahoo IM. Go figure.

It would be outing because it would have to be by email, but I might tell your GC that he should make you take more work back in-house, that you have seemingly too much time on your hands.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
It would be outing because it would have to be by email, but I might tell your GC that he should make you take more work back in-house, that you have seemingly too much time on your hands.

It's to talk to my internal clients.

Thanks for the link, RT -- I found this gem from raouaouaouaoaoal:

"S(reform? you'll be a quitter for the rest of your life)D"

Quitter.

[Fugee]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
those wacky Iowans. (I have no idea where Iowa is. Honestly. I get it mixed up with Idaho, which I only know about because they have potatoes and it borders Canada - I think).

Iowa is below Minnesota (in more ways than one). And if, despite the presence of the wacky Minnesotans here, you have no idea where Minnesota is, it is just south of Manitoba!

[notcasesensitive]

Here's a question for our crack lawtalkers community:

I was talking with a friend about success rates for relationships that start out as affairs (assuming the person in the marriage/committed relationship ultimately chooses the new relationship, as opposed to the pre-existing one). I had heard, though I don't know where, that the long-term success rate* for those relationships is lower than the long-term success rate for relationships that start when neither party is in a committed relationship. My friend disagreed.

The reasons I had heard for the lowered success rate ranged from - (i) baggage brought into the relationship by the time both parties are free to commit to the new relationship, (ii) desire for joys of singlehood once out of long-term committed relationship that was broken up, (iii) people placing too much value on new relationship (and person in it), as opposed to facing the other problems with the existing relationship, and (iv) the excitement of the illicit relationship doesn't translate into daily life once it is no longer illicit.

Anyone know the answer to this or have anecdotal evidence they want to share?

I was going to post this as a RoTAF because my current relationship would qualify as one in which one or both parties were in committed relationships when the relationship started, but then I realized that I don't really care if you people know that. So there.

And, for the record, I tend to consider my relationship a success. Hopefully a long-term success. Whatever that means.




*whatever "long-term success rate" means (I'm really not sure of this, but I guess for my questions, I'll say that means the new relationship lasts 5 years or more)

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
It's to talk to my internal clients.

Thanks for the link, RT -- I found this gem from raouaouaouaoaoal:

"S(reform? you'll be a quitter for the rest of your life)D"

Quitter.

no offense but in your practice area why does anyone need to talk to you immediately?

• dear fringey- if I retire tomorrow instead of next month how much will my pension drop? PS I need to know by 3 PM

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
It's to talk to my internal clients.

Thanks for the link, RT -- I found this gem from raouaouaouaoaoal:

"S(reform? you'll be a quitter for the rest of your life)D"

Quitter.

what has he reformed? I am missing the context from the earlier post, but I thought he just got done telling us that the kid will just have to put up with the fact that his/her old man is a drunk pothead. That sounds not so reformed to me.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
what has he reformed? I am missing the context from the earlier post, but I thought he just got done telling us that the kid will just have to put up with the fact that his/her old man is a drunk pothead. That sounds not so reformed to me.

He seems to already be somewhat reformed, compared to where he was in 2000.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
no offense but in your practice area why does anyone need to talk to you immediately?

• dear fringey- if I retire tomorrow instead of next month how much will my pension drop? PS I need to know by 3 PM

you seem to be channeling some of our executives. congrats!

[Sparklehorse]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Here's a question for our crack lawtalkers community:

I was talking with a friend about success rates for relationships that start out as affairs (assuming the person in the marriage/committed relationship ultimately chooses the new relationship, as opposed to the pre-existing one). I had heard, though I don't know where, that the long-term success rate* for those relationships is lower than the long-term success rate for relationships that start when neither party is in a committed relationship. My friend disagreed.

The reasons I had heard for the lowered success rate ranged from - (i) baggage brought into the relationship by the time both parties are free to commit to the new relationship, (ii) desire for joys of singlehood once out of long-term committed relationship that was broken up, (iii) people placing too much value on new relationship (and person in it), as opposed to facing the other problems with the existing relationship, and (iv) the excitement of the illicit relationship doesn't translate into daily life once it is no longer illicit.

Anyone know the answer to this or have anecdotal evidence they want to share?

I was going to post this as a RoTAF because my current relationship would qualify as one in which one or both parties were in committed relationships when the relationship started, but then I realized that I don't really care if you people know that. So there.

And, for the record, I tend to consider my relationship a success. Hopefully a long-term success. Whatever that means.




*whatever "long-term success rate" means (I'm really not sure of this, but I guess for my questions, I'll say that means the new relationship lasts 5 years or more)

I think you forgot a principal reason why relationships born from affairs have troubles: When at least one party has demonstrated the capacity to lie and cheat (by having an affair), it has an effect on trust in the new relationship. I would think this would be more severe with the breaking of marital vows but I'm not sure.

My best friend's current marriage is the product of an affair. They were both married before and have children from their respective first marriages. Her husband is currently engaged in one of the world's ugliest custody battles with his ex-wife. ALL the dirty laundry is being laid out in legal documents. We haven't discussed this recently, but a few months ago, she mentioned (very casually) that she thinks her husband is having an affair. It's like it's to be expected under the circumstances.

[soup sandwich]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
And, for the record, I tend to consider my relationship a success. Hopefully a long-term success. Whatever that means.

Smug non-married.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
my current relationship would qualify as one in which one or both parties were in committed relationships when the relationship started,

this part gave lots of guys hope

And, for the record, I tend to consider my relationship a success. Hopefully a long-term success.

this part crushed that hope

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
what has he reformed? I am missing the context from the earlier post, but I thought he just got done telling us that the kid will just have to put up with the fact that his/her old man is a drunk pothead. That sounds not so reformed to me.

Re affair-started relationships, I don't think there can be any rule set down for whether they're more likely to succeed or fail. When you dig someone, you can't bear the thought of hurting them. Hence, you don't cheat. If you dig someone you met via an affair, unless you're a selfish dick, you wouldn't want to hurt that person. I think the fail/success rates of affair-started relationships would be the same as those not started from affairs.

Re my reform, I see no reason that one cannot responsibly enjoy substances while having a productive life. I get to work, I get the job done... they even promote me and other people occasionally offer me jobs elsewhere. I behave utterly normally and am able to separate my extra curricular hobbies from my work and sensible management of my personal life. So what "reform" do I - or the millions like me (90% of the people here) - need? I find people who modify their behavior and give up the fun things in life just because "now I am a responsible [parent, married person, professional, etc...] silly. Why? Are you too fucking stupid to be able manage getting yer ya yas out while at the same time paying the mortgage and making sure the kids are breathing?

Shit, Hank even keeps it all together!

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Fugee
Iowa is below Minnesota (in more ways than one). And if, despite the presence of the wacky Minnesotans here, you have no idea where Minnesota is, it is just south of Manitoba!

Thank you Fugee! I have actually been to Minnesota, so I know where it is. But now I will cross Iowa off my list of wtf states.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by soup sandwich
Smug non-married.

We have established that the correct term is uber-smug divorcee. It flows off the tongue better.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Re my reform, I see no reason that one cannot responsibly enjoy substances while having a productive life. I get to work, I get the job done... they even promote me and other people occasionally offer me jobs elsewhere. I behave utterly normally and am able to separate my extra curricular hobbies from my work and sensible management of my personal life. So what "reform" do I - or the millions like me (90% of the people here) - need? I find people who modify their behavior and give up the fun things in life just because "now I am a responsible [parent, married person, professional, etc...] silly. Why? Are you too fucking stupid to be able manage getting yer ya yas out while at the same time paying the mortgage and making sure the kids are breathing?

Dad?

ETA: I'm serious. This sounds just like my dad.