The Spanky Show

[Flinty_McFlint]

To Pavement's Shady Lane:

Blind date with the Spankster
A big player or manspinster
And the check when it arrived we were drunk, drunk, drunk
Drunk a bluer shade of blood on a greener shade of cash
And this beajoulais wine is giving tits a rash
I’m flat pissed
You’re so beautiful to look at when I’m drunk
Freeze, don’t speak
You’ve been chosen as an extra in the FB adaptation
Of the sequel to my life.

a Spankyland -- everybody wants one
a Spankyland -- everybody needs one
Oh my god, oh my mod, oh it’s Maude, oh we Todd
Oh my god, oh your mod, oh we Todd, over Maude
It’s everybody’s god, it’s everybody’s mod, it’s everybody’s Maude, it’s
Everybody’s god
The worlds collide, but all that we want is a Spankyland.

Glance, don’t stare
Or that buck will kick you in your derriere
No, not me -- I’m too busy cleaning up after Squishy
Kids surround in the muddy peaceful center of this house
Tell me off in the breakfast cubby right in front of all the young boys and the apricots and mountain air.

A Spankyland -- everybody wants one
A Spankyland -- everybody needs one
Oh my god, oh my mod, oh it’s Maude, oh we Todd
Oh my god, oh your mod, oh we Todd, over Maude
It’s everybody’s god, it’s everybody’s mod, it’s everybody’s Maude, it’s
Everybody’s god
The worlds collide, but all that we want is a Spankyland.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
paigow,

disregard the sour grapes coming your way from the fringster. she has a well-documented history of hatred of the song that you parodied and I think that has clouded her judgment.

However, you cannot win your own contest. Think of the doe-eyed optimists and the children playing in their yards and how those innocent hearts would feel if they found out that the contest were rigged. The sweeping effects could put the nail in the shark and sink the Board of all things Spanky.

ncs

You remembering my hatred of that song is not quite as scary as paigow remembering the digging habits of my cat.

I thought the parody was quite good. It seems to remove the objectionable aspect to the song.

Originally posted by ltl/fb
you think she didn't already have that song in mind when she proposed the contest?

Exactly how much time do you think I put into preparing posts? Like most great artistic geniuses, there is probabl something brewing in the subconscious, then, when the fiirst of the two bottles of Shiraz opens, it just comes to the fore. That is how creative genius works. You would not know.

Don't be jealous of my love song to Spanky. WHy don't you try to do better. You still don't knw what the prize is. I personaly am hoping someone beats me. But nobody but gatti takes this contest seriously.

When Centerfod bubbled up, I had already thought of going with "Born Free" a la Gaati, but renamed "Roast Beef". Then I thought of "You're Never Gonna Get it (spanky's love)". but centerfold seemed to write itself. Took all of maybe eight minutes, and most of that was the just filling in the blanks. Geniuses don't waste a lot off time thinking. We let you average americans struggle with the Writers Block.

Now, i am struggling trough a personal emergency so please be nice.

Oh and thanks for the nod to my genious. Some things look like they take a long time, right? Its good to be gifted.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Exactly how much time do you think I put into preparing posts? Like most great artistic geniuses, there is probabl something brewing in the subconscious, then, when the fiirst of the two bottles of Shiraz opens, it just comes to the fore. That is how creative genius works. You would not know.
.

Be careful, too shiraz can result in lo-billing.

YmmV

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Is it my Salt lick
To which I am in debt?
Please don't look askance ---
You're not the average pet.
My homeowner's association told me you'd appear.
Now I'm always touched by your presence, Deer.

When I'm out playing cards
I beat the pants off Less.
(It's really not cheating.)
But when I'm at home
You relieve my stress.
And when you bring your tawny Fauns
and your horny cheer ---
I am always touched by your presence, Deer.

Floating past the hata types
Here and on PB.
So much to learn from ruminants
Who come and visit me.

Coming into contact with
Nature's bel esprit.
We could entertain each other with
your philosophy.

Stay awake at night with all the PB brats.
But you're my favorite, except for my three Cats.
Hope you don't mind Cougar visits
Should Paigow appear.
I am still in touch with your presence, Deer.
I am still in touch with your presence, Deer.
I am still in touch with your presence, Deer.
Deer, Deer, Deer, Deer, Deer.

quite funny. I loled. That said, Spanky and I could not have a Cougar-Doe Man relationshup bc he is actually Several Years Older than I.

Originally posted by Penske_Account
Am I mostly correct that the grand prize is the grand puba of Spankyland, Spanky himself, treating for drinks at Mr. Bings for tonight's ritualistic Friday Board happy hour?

The grand prize will involve baccanalia of some sort. Mr. Bings seems apropo. But it would likel more of a One on ONe (I want to play that Spank tonight). Because otherwise, Everyone wins.

Originally posted by ltl/fb
You remembering my hatred of that song is not quite as scary as paigow remembering the digging habits of my cat.

I thought the parody was quite good. It seems to remove the objectionable aspect to the song.

You gonna play? So far we have viable contenders in Hank, Gatti, Atti, and Flinty (props to the Maude/Mod thing, thats going on my campaign slogan) The board will vote but I am hoping for a few more entries. LEss can do better that That. I look forward to sgtclb's game. You of course. Penske can do better. And anyone else who wants to play. Remember the prize is prepaid baccanalia. And MR< if you want to play, note that you cant spell Baccanalia without ANAL.

Also, I invite NFH to throw in em's hat. She is a song parody legend.

And Shifter too.

Originally posted by Penske_Account
Be careful, too shiraz can result in lo-billing.

YmmV

Don't be SIlly.

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Spanky:

Don't know where to start. OK here goes

1) Porkchop is TOAST. SO are Spittles and Whiff if you allow the wildlife to roam within the screen door. The next thing you know is Wile E. COyote will pay a visit and you will have a couple of tabby tails lying around with no cat attached.

This is not the first story about racoons and cats on these boards.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
You gonna play? So far we have viable contenders in Hank, Gatti, Atti, and Flinty (props to the Maude/Mod thing, thats going on my campaign slogan) The board will vote but I am hoping for a few more entries. LEss can do better that That. I look forward to sgtclb's game. You of course. Penske can do better. And anyone else who wants to play. Remember the prize is prepaid baccanalia. And MR< if you want to play, note that you cant spell Baccanalia without ANAL.

Also, I invite NFH to throw in em's hat. She is a song parody legend.

And Shifter too.

if you IQ handicap this for shifty I so call bullshit.

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
if you IQ handicap this for shifty I so call bullshit.

Why would IQ handicappping be permissible at the Spanky SHow?

[sgtclub]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
You gonna play? So far we have viable contenders in Hank, Gatti, Atti, and Flinty (props to the Maude/Mod thing, thats going on my campaign slogan) The board will vote but I am hoping for a few more entries. LEss can do better that That. I look forward to sgtclb's game. You of course. Penske can do better. And anyone else who wants to play. Remember the prize is prepaid baccanalia. And MR< if you want to play, note that you cant spell Baccanalia without ANAL.

Also, I invite NFH to throw in em's hat. She is a song parody legend.

And Shifter too.

I'm reserving "It's getting hot in here." Need a little time finishing the lyrics.

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by Spanky
All stuff that involves human bodily fluids or innocent animals being tortured or maimed should stay on the fashion board.

Furballs and feces; their lot in life
is one of lazing through the days, sunlight
warming their fur-coated forms, and nights
of scratch-post clawing, mewing that's forlorn
and dismal, meaningless at best, but yet
it gives me bloodshot morning eyes.

Though once ferocious, taken from their past
and taught to purr and cry for kibbled treats;
so far removed, their distant cousins rule
the untamed wild plains of Africa.

Against my couch this vile creature rubs
and presses its foul cheeks into the firm
and soft of fabric stretched on wooden frame
to leave its scent for no one to detect,
but for I to know.

Come, stroke your chin upon my warming post,
this leg of mine with denim textures wrapped
about it, surely it will soothe your need
for closeness, and certainly satisfy
your sinister scent-spreading secret plans!

Oh, that I were a trained-for-violence hound,
some rotweiller, ablaze with thoughts of blood
and carnage... or perhaps a viscious thing!
Some feral wolf, unhindered by training,
who knows no pain but that within his gut
which keeps him sharp of senses, tooth and claw,
who'll tear your fur away, and rend your flesh
from your very bones with nimbleness
borne of that instinct which you left behind
when first you thought to move your kind inside
the homes of man, forgo your heritage,
and keep me up at night!

[Miss Crabtree]

Originally posted by sgtclub
I'm reserving "It's getting hot in here." Need a little time finishing the lyrics.

Now, Class, as always we'll start our day with "America the Beautiful."

Spanky, do you want to sing today? I've put the words up on the board.


Oh Beautiful for doe-eyed fauns
and aw-shucks how-de-dos,
for little children, modesty;
all things paigs once eschew'd;
Oh Spankyland! Oh Spankyland!
Baby Jesus graced your door
And allowed thy cats
Their back yard scats
And Spanks the kitchen Floor!

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Miss Crabtree
Now, Class, as always we'll start our day with "America the Beautiful."

Spanky, do you want to sing today? I've put the words up on the board.


Oh Beautiful for doe-eyed fauns
and aw-shucks how-de-dos,
for little children, modesty;
all things paigs once eschew'd;
Oh Spankyland! Oh Spankyland!
Baby Jesus graced your door
And allowed thy cats
Their back yard scats
And Spanks the kitchen Floor!

I quite like that. I wish I knew whose sock you are.

I will not be entering as I suck at the song parodying.