Fashion Board 4-6-04 to 5-7-04

[Aloha Mr. Learned Hand]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Did anyone ever watch a TV show in the 70s on PBS called Carrascolendas? It was a bilingual children's show on Saturday mornings. Someone in my office mentioned it earlier today, and I didn't recognize it at first, but then I suddenly had flash backs. It was sort of Sesame Street like, but more focused on English-to-Spanish translation than numbers and spelling. It was part of our Saturday Morning Cartoon schedule when we were kids. The details of the show are a little sketchy for me, because I haven't thought about it in probably 25 years. I did remember the theme song when my co-worker prodded me a little. The show was produced in Austin, so it may have just been a Texas thing, though some googling uncovered that the show was aired nationally.

The show I remember from PBS that was sort of similar was "Villa Allegre"...

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

So, I caught episode 2 of the Swan (really, this was not premeditated, I swear to god, they changed nights and there it was and the Mr. was so curious after listening to me excoriate ep. 1 that he sat down to see if it was as bad as he thought. It was).

This time, the two women were (as I thought of them) Flat-Faced-Army-Chick ("FFAC", who had, uh, a somewhat flat, rectangular face and was in the army) and Mayan Woman ("MW", who was Hispanic and had a fine Mayan-looking nose).

My expert armchair psych evaluation from the "pre-program" interviews:

FFAC really needed a makeover, not surgery, since her hang-up was less about being "ugly" per se and more about being a Tom-boy and not knowing what kinds of dresses to wear or how to do her hair.

MW seemed really just to want to belly dance again after having her belly stretched out by kids, and didn't seem much bothered by anything else, though she did also exhibit that "I can't sleep with my husband because of it" thing. (Do none of these woman have light-switches? Turn them off if it's that big a deal! Your husbands aren't that hot, either.) MW was actually sort of psycho about it - saying she should divorce her husband because she was so miserable and didn't want to make him miserable, too - WTF? Poor guy had the right answer - "I just want her to have the confidence to think she is as pretty as I do." Again, neither of these women should have been OKed for surgery.

Pre-surgery physical summary:

FFAC had a quite pretty face and thick, straight hair I could have done quite a lot with given access to a salon and a MAC store, and an athletic body with a fair amount of extra padding on it. Now, this chick is in the army. If THAT hasn't gotten the extra weight off her, exactly what the fuck do these guys think will? Lipo, apparently. Anyhow, you could tell pretty much from the get-go that she had the type of frame that, to look "thin" and "feminine" (at least as these guys appear to mean it), she would have to be rail thin indeed, because she naturally has no waist whatsoever.

MW actually was pretty slim, just a bit saggy (and really saggy in the waist). She had a puffy under-eye area, somewhat hang-dog eyes, and a nose that I, actually, really liked. Of course, they were going to chop off her nose, which sort of pissed me off, having a "masterful" nose myself.

Procedures:

FFAC got her cheeks lipoed to try to give her cheekbones, and got her middle lipoed to hell and back (though not, in the end, enough to give her a waist). Also got a boob job - she ASKED for a D cup. WTF? I've heard, often, doctors say that the reason women run around with these huge fake looking tits is because the ASK for it, and they never hear "too big" and frequently hear "I want bigger," but I guess it may actually be true. Ds were a mistake - she has big shoulders, no waist and a strong frame, and the Ds make her look even thicker. Other than her mouth and slight jowls being brought up by the facelift, I have to say I noticed almost no change in her face at all, except the addition of makeup. Most of this could have been accomplished by a diet/nutrition regime and a simple makeover (except the boobs, which I think she shouldn't have gotten). Oh, and the laser face peel or whatever she got looked friggin painful, but her skin did look better (to the extent one could tell through the paint). Overall, with her strong chin (emphasized by hollowing out her cheeks) and shoulders, coupled with the boob job, I have to say I thought she looked less feminine "after," and more like a drag queen. Looking like a drag queen after your makeover is a bad result.

MW got a nose job, though they didn't chop it quite as badly as I had feared from the front, her profile was completely changed. Her face came off looking somewhat more elegant (the first time I thought "yeah, the brow lift helped"), but I think they colagened her lips and she had lovely full lips to start with, which seemed a waste to me. In any event, she came out still looking pretty interesting, but quite different, and not much like herself. The tummy tuck was a big success, though - her new figure is amazing (I thought her boob job was a bit large, again).

New observation - the dental work actually accomplishes a lot more than most of the facial surgery, from what I can make out.

another new observation - the dresses they give these women are HORRIBLE. The one the redhead wore in the first show (the one with the see-through panels in weird square shapes) was at least interesting, but otherwise I've seen nothing with any redeeming qualities at all.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally posted by tmdiva
Yes--Miss USA is a beauty pageant, whereas Miss America is a scholarship pageant.

Aside from the fake breasts and the obvious lipliner, I thought she was really pretty. I thought Oklahoma was cuter (blond bob, ice-blue eyes), but she bombed the interview section because she was immature and shallow. These two had my favorite evening gowns, too.

tm

Less talk.

More photos.

[sunnybunny]

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
Less talk.

More photos.

i was trying to look up miss OK earlier, based on someone else's comment...but When i did, it looks like she's recently gotten a nose job....can someon post pics here?

[NotFromHere]

Swan Stuff

What I find interesting is that these doctors know that there is going to be some sort of depression involved after the surgery. And that the Army chick who was so woo hoo after the surgery was the one who was the most depressed later. Her husband being an asshole didn't help I guess. It's good that they have therapists because it seems like they're more responsible for change in attitude than the looks. The fact that the dark haired one gained weight after the lipo was very telling of her mental state.

Both weeks they've picked the skinny girl over the Anna Nicole girl.

I agree that what you mostly notice is the teeth and the makeup -neither nose job from the front looked dramatically different. The before and after pictures of the dark haired one's stomach were amazing. I was wondering what they were going to do with all those stretch marks and the sag, but it was a good job.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

But Miss USA gives us the T&A.

Isn't it a Trump property?

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Both weeks they've picked the skinny girl over the Anna Nicole girl.

Speaking of Anna Nicole, has anyone seen the commercials for Trim Spa? She looks amazing in comparison to how she looked in her reality show last year. I thought they were using old archival footage of her for the commericals. Their website says she's lost 69 pounds. http://www.trimspa.com/?prm104

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Speaking of Anna Nicole, has anyone seen the commercials for Trim Spa? She looks amazing in comparison to how she looked in her reality show last year. I thought they were using old archival footage of her for the commericals. Their website says she's lost 69 pounds. http://www.trimspa.com/?prm104

Wow, I had seen the commercial, but she looks even better in the pic. Yes, the pills and alcohol really bloated her up, plus the fact that she could get dates and hangers-on no matter how fat she was kept her in a state of oblivion. Maybe she actually watched her show and said to herself "hey, I'm a fat pig. Maybe I could lose a few pounds."

On one of her shows, this old guy took her out to a romantic dinner at an expensive LA sushi place - dropped some change and then on her way home in the limo, she ordered a whole barbecue dinner. That's an eating problem.

[Bad_Rich_Chic]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
The before and after pictures of the dark haired one's stomach were amazing. I was wondering what they were going to do with all those stretch marks and the sag, but it was a good job.

My understanding is that tummy tucks are (i) pretty easy and (ii) tend to be really dramatic improvements. I guess that makes sense, since they've been doing them about forever and the procedure isn't that complicated.

I was really disappointed about her nose, though. It would have been a great opportunity to trot out some of the new nose-job techniques that have become more popular over the last few years w/r/t preserving the character of "minority" noses while just making them balance the face a little better. (Or maybe they don't - I'm sort of of the opinion that, short of a boxing career or other accidental deformity, the only nose that usually fits one's face is the one God put there.) They didn't butcher her as much as they might have, but they still gave her a totally average, and pretty anglo looking, profile, which was a shame. But, this is in LA, after all.

BR(someone remind me never, ever, to get plastic surgery in LA)C

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
MW actually was pretty slim, just a bit saggy (and really saggy in the waist).

Congratulations on winning the Parenthetical Understatement of the Year! What did you wear to the PUYs this year?

Her stomach was horrifying. Hideous. Disgusting. She needed to get it fixed. The light switch wouldn't have helped much since I can't imagine her husband would never come in contact with that mass of loose skin.

Everyone should thank their lucky stars I can't find a photo.

TM

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
It's good that they have therapists because it seems like they're more responsible for change in attitude than the looks.

This is what I found the most disgusting about the show. It's great that they provide therapists. But the therapy shouldn't be part of the fucking show. For godsake, the therapist did an interview about the person's deepest problems and they showed parts of the actual sessions.

That's horrible. She should have her license revoked.

TM

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Congratulations on winning the Parenthetical Understatement of the Year! What did you wear to the PUYs this year?

Her stomach was horrifying. Hideous. Disgusting. She needed to get it fixed. The light switch wouldn't have helped much since I can't imagine her husband would never come in contact with that mass of loose skin.

Everyone should thank their lucky stars I can't find a photo.

TM

Peopleare watfhing this train wreck? How did it do in the ratings last week and this week. Str8?

And according to the fictional movie Lovely and Amazing, tummy tucks are quite painful.

[Mister_Ruysbroeck]

Originally posted by sunnybunny
they really can't tell anymore unless they're feeling them or looking at scars?

Yes, touching and viewing of the breasts must be a part of any debate over whether or not they are real. This should be acceptable social behavior from now on.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Maybe she actually watched her show and said to herself "hey, I'm a fat pig. Maybe I could lose a few pounds."

Actually, I'm pretty sure Howard Stern (the radio guy, not her lawyer) said nearly exactly that, made her feel like shit, and recommended she try Trim Spa.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
This is what I found the most disgusting about the show. It's great that they provide therapists. But the therapy shouldn't be part of the fucking show. For godsake, the therapist did an interview about the person's deepest problems and they showed parts of the actual sessions.

That's horrible. She should have her license revoked.

TM

I'd love to see some of the authorizations and releases and disclosure statements that people on these shows sign. I imagine that an undisclosed sum at some point will be changing hands from show producers/doctors/etc to participant sometime in the future.