A Black Hole of Happiness

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
So the way to illustrate this is by having a pig go into the bathroom at a bar, and come out looking hot for the single woman? Look! He's being responsible by waiting until he gets to the bar to buy a condom!

My favorite "don't have a condom on me" story was from an adventure with a friend of mine at Poly Esters in San Francisco. While I was dancing in the exact same spot where she'd been bitten on the ass by some random guy the last time we'd been there*, a guy ran up to me, grabbed me by the shoulders and yelled "Do you have a condom?" His voice broke there at the end. I paused a second, thought through the contents of my purse, and said "Yes, I do, as a matter of fact. I do." I reached back into my purse, rifled around a bit, and pulled one out (I think it was ribbed. Definitely lubed.) and gave it to him. He kissed me and said "thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou" and he ran away. I presume it went to good use.



*Amusing detail that adds nothing really to the story, but helps lead credence to the theory that that particular part of the dancefloor is really a vortex of weirdness. I haven't since been back to test the theory further.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by handsome boy model
I've found that a majority of the time you can skirt the whole jimmie cap issue by providing some relatively recent test results and an affidavit of diseasefreeness.

regards,

hbm

Your wife falls for that?

[handsome boy model]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Your wife falls for that?

N/A, but your mom does! Ka-ching!

hbm

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by handsome boy model
N/A, but your mom does! Ka-ching!

hbm

Why did you end this post with a cash register sound?

[handsome boy model]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Why did you end this post with a cash register sound?

Out of habit. FYI, when I edit my homemade porn I always insert a "ka-ching" audio sound to go with the money shot visual. Adds some humor to the drama.

sincerely,

hbm

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by handsome boy model
Out of habit. FYI, when I edit my homemade porn I always insert a "ka-ching" audio sound to go with the money shot visual. Adds some humor to the drama.

sincerely,

hbm

The dramedy is an underappreciated art form.

[handsome boy model]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
The dramedy is an underappreciated art form.

Right on. In a twist, on the above posts, while I prefer bareback, I may have found a condom I'd be interested in trying, for shits and giggles at least. Have any of you all sexual afficianados here heard of the spray-on condom?????

I am thinking of signing up to be a tester, assuming they provide live female test-partners. At no cost.

all the best,

hbm

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
The dramedy is an underappreciated art form.

So is yodeling.

[handsome boy model]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter

yodeling

Competive yodel eating? MMMMmmmmmmm, yodels!!!!



yours truly,

hbm

ETA: or did you mean "canyon-yodeling"?? G.O., dawg!

[Secret_Agent_Man]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Do most people think of divorce as an indicator that a mistake was made, either in the getting married or in the getting divorced?

* * *

But seriously, do most people view a failed relationship as a mistake? I really never have.

I think lots of people do -- tied to the old-fashioned fantasy that you should pick the one, "right" person and be together forever.

In my case, my first marriage was clearly a mistake (as I think we'd both agree) -- classic youthful folly in which my proposal was motivated in large part by trying to fix a troubled long-term relationship and accepted (I later found out) mostly because she was afraid she'd lose me if she turned me down again.

Damn that was stupid -- and we both paid the price. So, in other words, sometimes divorces show mistakes.

S_A_M

[Secret_Agent_Man]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
What I thought were the lyrics when I was a kid:


Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be corduroy

Hehe.

As a kid I thought the song I took my screen-name from was: "Secret Asian Man."

S_A_M

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by Secret_Agent_Man
Hehe.

As a kid I thought the song I took my screen-name from was: "Secret Asian Man."

S_A_M

Do you have any asian in you?

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Secret_Agent_Man
Hehe.

As a kid I thought the song I took my screen-name from was: "Secret Asian Man."

S_A_M

"Wrapped up like a douche", anyone?

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Secret_Agent_Man
I think lots of people do -- tied to the old-fashioned fantasy that you should pick the one, "right" person and be together forever.

In my case, my first marriage was clearly a mistake (as I think we'd both agree) -- classic youthful folly in which my proposal was motivated in large part by trying to fix a troubled long-term relationship and accepted (I later found out) mostly because she was afraid she'd lose me if she turned me down again.

Damn that was stupid -- and we both paid the price. So, in other words, sometimes divorces show mistakes.

S_A_M

I made the same mistake, but we didn't get married. I expect he's in high school by now.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy
I made the same mistake, but we didn't get married. I expect he's in high school by now.

Were you unable to get married because you didn't live in Massachusetts?