Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants

[Hank Chinaski]

when i said [DELETED BY ADMIN] posts, I was referring to a style of Penske posts he did when he wanted to start trouble. I have never had anything deleted of which I am aware.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by Shape Shifter
Would you really have the time to be an admin? Between your posting here and your duties on the Tucker Max message board, seems you're already spread pretty thin.

Speaking of this, I think this an opportune time to make it public that I really wish Hank would go back to an actual post count, instead of the "Bilmore-esque" 65535 post number.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
when i said [DELETED BY ADMIN] posts, I was referring to a style of Penske posts he did when he wanted to start trouble. I have never had anything deleted of which I am aware.

Be careful. I don't want anything dire to befall you.

[Not Bob]

I love http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/. Here's the one that made me laugh today:

• April 07, 2005
  I Know What You Do In The Bathroom
  A buzzing sound emanates from a woman's purse.
  
  Woman 1: Oh, that's my electric toothbrush.
  Woman 2: So that's what the kids are calling it these days.
  
  --Midtown elevator

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Not Bob
I love http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/. Here's the one that made me laugh today:

• April 07, 2005
  I Know What You Do In The Bathroom
  A buzzing sound emanates from a woman's purse.
  
  Woman 1: Oh, that's my electric toothbrush.
  Woman 2: So that's what the kids are calling it these days.
  
  --Midtown elevator

Some of those are hilarious. I guess I like the first one the best:

Head waiter: I'm sorry sir, but you can't smoke in here.
Cigarette guy: I can't smoke in here? Next thing you'll tell me I can't fuck in the bathroom.

--Cipriani's, 42nd Street

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Some of those are hilarious. I guess I like the first one the best:

Head waiter: I'm sorry sir, but you can't smoke in here.
Cigarette guy: I can't smoke in here? Next thing you'll tell me I can't fuck in the bathroom.

--Cipriani's, 42nd Street

Another good one.

Teenage girl: Bitch! I did not give you syphilis. I gave you crabs.

--13th St. & 2nd Ave.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Speaking of men with vibrators:

"He said 'If you tell her I will kick your ass!' I started laughing so hard I could hardly see straight. He said 'I'm serious I'll kick your ass!' I told him that he was insane if he thought I WASN'T going to tell EVERYONE I could find, including random people on the street."

Clearly I don't stretch enough.

(spree: first page is work-safe, but maybe not the line drawings)

This reminds me of the old joke about why dogs lick their balls.

[Sidd Finch]

For some reason I've been getting German porn-spam for the past few months (our spam-filter is useless for keeping out Germans, apparently -- perhaps it was made in France).

Anyway.... I suppose German is sexy to someone, somewhere, but this really doesn't do it for me:


"Tabu" präsentiert heute: "Best of Kelly - Die versaute Schülerin 02"

Aus dem Inhalt:
Hier kommt Allysin im P*rnoland!
Zum 2. Mal die geilsten Cuts mit der heissen, spermasüchtigen Schulschlampe
in der Hauptrolle...



Wow. Here comes Alice in Pornoland!!! In English, that sounds eh. In German, it's impossible not to laugh.



(Mom, you'd tell me if you were in a German scheise video, right?)

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
For some reason I've been getting German porn-spam for the past few months (our spam-filter is useless for keeping out Germans, apparently -- perhaps it was made in France).

Anyway.... I suppose German is sexy to someone, somewhere, but this really doesn't do it for me:


"Tabu" präsentiert heute: "Best of Kelly - Die versaute Schülerin 02"

Aus dem Inhalt:
Hier kommt Allysin im P*rnoland!
Zum 2. Mal die geilsten Cuts mit der heissen, spermasüchtigen Schulschlampe
in der Hauptrolle...



Wow. Here comes Alice in Pornoland!!! In English, that sounds eh. In German, it's impossible not to laugh.



(Mom, you'd tell me if you were in a German scheise video, right?)

Stimmen Sie, ich mag nicht einstellen mein Material zum Publikum zu aber ich möchte eine Ausnahme machen, weil ich erzählt wurde, dass es eine Tagung der Klempner in San Francisco diese Woche gibt - ich verstehe, dass ungefähr 30 von ihnen zur Schau heute Abend heruntergekommen sind - so bevor ich ich gearbeitetauf ein Witz besonders für die Klempner herausgekommen bin. Jene von Ihnen, der nicht Klempner ist, werden wahrscheinlich nicht dieses erhalten und werden nicht denken, dass es lustig ist, aber ich denke jene von Ihnen, der Klempner wirklich ist, werden genießen dies…

Dieser Rasenaufseher war aus auf einer Sprinkler maintenence Aufgabe und, die er angefangen hat, bearbeiten einen Findlay Sprinkler Kopf mit einem Langstrom 7" schlaksigen Schraubenschlüssel. In dem Moment dies hat kleiner Lehrling über gelehnt und hat gesagt, "Sie können keinen Findlay Sprinkler Kopf mit einem Langstrom 7" reißt bearbeiten". Gut hat dieses den Aufseher wütend gemacht, deshalb ist er gegangen und hat Band 14 vom Kinsley Handbuch erhalten, und er liest, zu den ihn und sagt, "Der Langstrom 7" Schraubenschlüssel kann mit dem Findlay Zahnrad benutzt werden". In dem Moment hat der kleine Lehrling über gelehnt und hat gesagt, "Es sagt Zahnrad nicht Steckdose!"

Wurden diese Klempner angenommen, hier diese Schau zu sein?

[Sidd's Mom]

Originally posted by Sidd Finch
For some reason I've been getting German porn-spam for the past few months (our spam-filter is useless for keeping out Germans, apparently -- perhaps it was made in France).

Anyway.... I suppose German is sexy to someone, somewhere, but this really doesn't do it for me:


"Tabu" präsentiert heute: "Best of Kelly - Die versaute Schülerin 02"

Aus dem Inhalt:
Hier kommt Allysin im P*rnoland!
Zum 2. Mal die geilsten Cuts mit der heissen, spermasüchtigen Schulschlampe
in der Hauptrolle...



Wow. Here comes Alice in Pornoland!!! In English, that sounds eh. In German, it's impossible not to laugh.



(Mom, you'd tell me if you were in a German scheise video, right?)

There's been something I've been meaning to tell you, dear.

[str8outavannuys]

Originally posted by Sparklehorse
Please accept my humble apology...as I typed that I thought it might be Pushy and not you.

I miss the Pushy one. Where is that big galoot?

Originally posted by AbsOfSteel
Straight man...But if I were a woman, I would definitely be a lesbian..

Hey Ladeeeeeeez-

Fresh meat!!! How long haeb you been lurking? Do you have the dl on the posters here? Lets see:

There is RP- the leader of the pussypack. She is really pretty and smart and funny but somewhat disenfranchisd by the unfair blow that life has dealt women vis a vis men. She is very well loved here and would probably bang you on a first date- none of that rules bullshit.

ltl/fb- I havent met her and dont knwo what she looks like, but her schtick is to be a food loving fat. I don't know if its true in real life. Basically, she seems like a down to earth person who calls it like she sees it. She possibly posts more than me so you should get to know her in no time, but I dont know if you wil ever really get to know her.

RT- the grande dame of the board. Truly one of the nicest and realest folks around. She is reported to look like Christina Ricci and she loves dogs so she is a-ok in my book. She also likes to masturbate but don't we all.

barely legal- excruciatinly smart, a bit sarcastic, and has horrible taste in American Idol contestants, but otherwise is a love.

sunnybunny- Purportedly the dumbest poster on the board but she has redeeming qualities such as a love for animals. She is also really hot. Apparently waiting for her lunch box to come in but it may not ever happen, who knows. see for yourself.

sparklehorse- i have to admit I dont really have a sense for her. I know she is big into internet dating and she seems very nice.

anne elk- very athletic gal who almost comes across as gay but we know she is straight. I know she loves soccer and the men who play it and that she lives in boston. she seems really nice. I dont know much else about her

gwnc- recently back on the market and apparently swings both ways. Is reputed to have great TITS and legs. She seems very cool and sophisticated. Probably a stellar choice to cyber flirt with.

and my favorite

ABBA- sort of a perenial dumb blonde who isnt actually dumb. She is the genius known as AbbaKiss. She is wild and smart and funny. Only flaw is that she struggles with words that convey the idea of "classy". I personally think I would do her myself if I was ever in the patch. No pun.

Happy hunting, ABS.

Originally posted by AbsOfSteel
Thanks for the welcome. The concept was an homage to my gym-rat OCD over my Abs.

Too chicken shit to post my own, so I found some random internet Abs. Tried to find Basedow's, but all the Google hits on his name are sites that mock him unmercifully.

waitaminute- is Basedow the standard you wish to achieve? That actually might be a dealkiller for a lot of the broads here. Anne Elk, sunnybunny and RP are probably still in play.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/08/movies/08gues.html

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Hey Ladeeeeeeez-

Fresh meat!!! How long haeb you been lurking? Do you have the dl on the posters here? Lets see:

There is RP- the leader of the pussypack. She is really pretty and smart and funny but somewhat disenfranchisd by the unfair blow that life has dealt women vis a vis men. She is very well loved here and would probably bang you on a first date- none of that rules bullshit.

ltl/fb- I havent met her and dont knwo what she looks like, but her schtick is to be a food loving fat. I don't know if its true in real life. Basically, she seems like a down to earth person who calls it like she sees it. She possibly posts more than me so you should get to know her in no time, but I dont know if you wil ever really get to know her.

RT- the grande dame of the board. Truly one of the nicest and realest folks around. She is reported to look like Christina Ricci and she loves dogs so she is a-ok in my book. She also likes to masturbate but don't we all.

barely legal- excruciatinly smart, a bit sarcastic, and has horrible taste in American Idol contestants, but otherwise is a love.

sunnybunny- Purportedly the dumbest poster on the board but she has redeeming qualities such as a love for animals. She is also really hot. Apparently waiting for her lunch box to come in but it may not ever happen, who knows. see for yourself.

sparklehorse- i have to admit I dont really have a sense for her. I know she is big into internet dating and she seems very nice.

anne elk- very athletic gal who almost comes across as gay but we know she is straight. I know she loves soccer and the men who play it and that she lives in boston. she seems really nice. I dont know much else about her

gwnc- recently back on the market and apparently swings both ways. Is reputed to have great TITS and legs. She seems very cool and sophisticated. Probably a stellar choice to cyber flirt with.

and my favorite

ABBA- sort of a perenial dumb blonde who isnt actually dumb. She is the genius known as AbbaKiss. She is wild and smart and funny. Only flaw is that she struggles with words that convey the idea of "classy". I personally think I would do her myself if I was ever in the patch. No pun.

Happy hunting, ABS.

No description of The Paigow?