Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03 - 10-3-03

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
Yep, that would be my personal rule. I have a virginal reputation to maintain you know.

Your rule makes my numbers relatively palatable.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
This leads to the another question... If one gets a hand job in an massage parlor (known in slang as a "washie washie" or "happy ending"), is that sex?

A friend swears it isn't - I say he's taking a holiday from logic because in my book, that's cheating.

S(why anyone gets a hummer from a stripper or a hand job from a massage girl amazes me - seems like soooo much risk for so little payoff)D

YOU are illogical. You have vehemently insisted that hand jobs at football games (?) aren't sex, but a hand job that you pay for is sex? Is it the money? What if you took the football handjobber out for dinner before the game?

And, she can't get pregnant and (in your delusional world) you can't get a disease from the stripper/massage girl, so where's the risk?

And, nothing personal, but I pretty much always find you offensive so what you said about being tongue in cheek (or whatever) was unnecessary.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by evenodds
Oral sex is not sex for purposes of "the number."

Oral sex is sex if you are my SO and you let some skanky chick blow you at a club.

Excellent point. I will use that quote if ever that happens. And if it does happen I will remember to tell the arresting officer that I had to kill him because he had sex with some skanky chick at a club/bachelor party.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield

And how in the hell can two people hook up but only one have sex?

Easily. It's called high school. All of the guys actually had sex. We were never really sure what the girls were doing for that 30 seconds, however.

"Hey, I always notice that bored look in their eyes."

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Excellent point. I will use that quote if ever that happens. And if it does happen I will remember to tell the arresting officer that I had to kill him because he had sex with some skanky chick at a club/bachelor party.

But you'd better be able to prove it was a skanky chick. Because if she was some sweet, virginal thing, then it's not sex. For either party.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Well, when the cops bust the place, and him, for prostitution, I'm guessing the "it wasn't sex" defense isn't going to fly. Unless you're defending him:

"Your honor, this man could not possibly get an STD from that woman. So it's not sex."

I'm pretty sure that a jury in the divorce proceedings (do they have juried divorces in other states?) wouldn't really buy that argument either.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
But you'd better be able to prove it was a skanky chick. Because if she was some sweet, virginal thing, then it's not sex. For either party.

I can do this for everyone -- I'm undoubtedly sweet and now I'm a virgin thanks to Thrasher.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I've had this happen to me. Except that the gum was, for some reason, put in my boxers...so I guess she was chewing pre-BJ and decided to dispose of it in my drawers...

Honey, I don't care what your number is, I just don't want to hear stories like this.

My marriage in on a runaway train about to crash. W/out getting into all of the details. My wife and I had been talking about divorce for the past year, and I had been thinking about it for much longer. A few weeks back, she told me that she couldn't take this divorce talk anymore and that I should just tell her when and if I wanted a divorce, but she didn't want to hear about it anymore. She also told me that if I wasn't committed to her she was going to change the kids summer plans...., etc. I was to weak to be completely honest and I kind of let her on that I thought things were getting better. (my bad)

Meanwhile, I am miserable and becoming more and more convinced that I need to end this, and she is becoming more and more convinced that she wants another child. I have tried to gently move her away from the child issue in order to buy a little more time for us to figure out what's going on, but she has been putting a lot of pressure on. (before you comment on this -- I am not going to have another child with her so no need to tell me not to).

To make a long story short, she got her period a few days ago and decided that now was the time to have the kid. We were scheduled to visit my son in camp this past sunday and I was afraid of her anger and how it would affect our plans so I didn't argue with her. She called me this morning to tell me that she talked to an OB/GYN and that she was going to switch from Celexa to Prozac and going to go off her birth control tonight and that she wanted to go out to dinner to celebrate that we are going to have a new baby.

I can't continue living this lie and I have to tell her that I am miserable and I want a divorce.

Do I agree to go to dinner with her?
Do I tell her I have to work late and come home and talk to her?
Do I try to get into our couples therapist tomorrow for a session and try to stall her for a day?

What if she wants to leave tonight with my 4 year old? Do I try to stop her?

My other two are away in camp. I thought I could keep this together until they were back in school, but that isn't happening.

I spoke to my therapist and he said it sounds like I am sure. I don't feel sure. He also said that he thinks I tried hard. I wonder about that.

This is so hard, and I am so petrified.

She is going to be angry and say that I tricked her.
She is going to be crying and devestated and say that I ruined her life.

My kids are going to be upset that this happened while they were away.
They are going to feel betrayed.

I am so frightened, but so tired of this deception.

And then I question myself, maybe I should be trying. But then I tell myself I have tried for so long and can't see how this could ever get better.

Thanks for your thoughts.

[evenodds]

After seeing the new Jason Taylor: Neutrogena for Men soap ad, he is most definitely on the list.

Even(wow . . . oh, to be that bar of soap)Odds

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Honey, I don't care what your number is, I just don't want to hear stories like this.

I didn't know the thought of bubble gum stuck in a cotton article of clothing was so repulsive.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
I didn't know the thought of bubble gum stuck in a cotton article of clothing was so repulsive.

It's not repulsive.

Why didn't she simply swallow it?

[evenodds]

DT, sorry you are still in this situation.

Tell her you have to work late.

Schedule the appointment for tomorrow with the therapist so that the therapist can help her cope.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by dealtoy
I can't continue living this lie and I have to tell her that I am miserable and I want a divorce.

Do I agree to go to dinner with her?
Do I tell her I have to work late and come home and talk to her?
Do I try to get into our couples therapist tomorrow for a session and try to stall her for a day?

What if she wants to leave tonight with my 4 year old? Do I try to stop her?

Order in a nice meal. Discuss. Get couples therapy.

Anyway, not that I have experience in these things, but it may be better that the kids are away at camp so you can get things somewhat worked out without having them in the middle. You'll have to explain it sometime to them; better after some reflection adn decisions on where things are going.

And isn't three kids enough to say you don't want another? Not that big families are bad, but it's hardly unreasonable to say "three's enough".

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by dealtoy
Speil about divorce

First of all, it's too early for her to safely get pregnant - her ob/gyn will tell her that. Celexa/birth control is going to be in her system for at least 30 days, probably longer.
Second, do not go out to dinner. Having a scene in a public place will make you cave in to her wishes.
Third, having a child in this circumstance is the absolute worst thing you can do to him/her. If you're not certain about the marriage, having a child will make you feel trapped. You will resent the child - the child will always sense this.
Fourth, if she accuses you of tricking her or lying to her - tell her the truth - that you thought you could do it, you really gave it a try but that the thought of having another child has forced you to make a decision you thought you had already made. If she storms out with the kid, then let her. You sound like you really need some space and time to think without all of the pressure. Maybe you could use a separation for this purpose. If you find that you miss her and want her back - then your decision is made. If you find that you feel that a gigantic weight has been lifted from you, then you should proceed with the divorce and hopefully a generous visitation schedule.

Best of luck - divorce is always hard - it should be hard especially when there are children. No one ever takes that decision lightly and neither should you. Take some time - don't rush into anything and never feel like you've been pushed into a decision you didn't want to make.