A frolic in Cambodia

[Skeks in the city]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
What do you mean, "you," Mme. Smug Married?

Second person impersonal is all it takes to get you riled up?

[Atticus Grinch]

Fla. fucktard holds Special Olympians hostage at gunpoint over short bus parking dispute.

Money quotation: "I have been married (to him) for 10 years and he has never had any violent tendencies, especially to special-needs children."

Note to Mrs. Fucktard: any statement prefaced by "any" cannot be strengthened by any statement prefaced by "especially."

[Atticus Grinch]

Newly assigned community policing officer shoots the first new neighbor he meets at housing project in which he's been assigned to live.

I pray to God it was a Whiffenpoof, but it seems unlikely.

[Atticus Grinch]

Bilmore bags himself some exotic game on Opening Day --- a llama.

[Atticus Grinch]

• I hope the election of George W. Bush is seen as a wake-up call to all the liberal Democrats who oppose God's will.
  
  It is His doing that George W. Bush is still our president. Millions of born-again Christians helped win this election through our prayers and votes. Jesus speaks through the Republicans.
  
  The Democrats will not be able to win elections until they renounce their sinful ways and stop encouraging abortions, gayness, and trying to take away our guns.
  
  Earl Balboa
  Washington Township
  
  Allentown Morning Call

I have often wondered what Jesus would say, were he alive today. I guess I'm going to have to go back and re-read Slave's posts for content.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
POLL: What little thing like this gives you a small, strange sense of satisfaction?

Blowing my nose. No joke. Also, using a Q-Tip in the bad way that no doctor will recommend. Almost any activity that involves the removal or expulsion of goo.

Good morning! Have another almond croissant, on me.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Atticus, get yourself a blog.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
The Democrats will not be able to win elections until they renounce their sinful ways and stop encouraging abortions, gayness, and trying to take away our guns.

I don't know why, but the word "gayness" in this context makes me chuckle.

"Do not let them influence you with their gayosity!"

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Atticus, get yourself a blog.

I'm actually thinking about it. The marketing company came up with some suggestions, and had a focus group give their thoughts on the prospective titles. What do y'all think?

Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money -- comments included "this one is probably taken" and "will this be a hunting thing?"

Am I The Only One Who Hears The Screams? -- comments included "uh, is this guy bipolar?" and "ooh, a reference to a second-rate Jackson Browne song -- that ought to impress the chicks."

Not Blog -- comments were all "huh?"

Wasting Away Again In Podunkville -- comments included "yeah, swell, whatever -- can I have my $20 now?" and "will be there be naked chicks?"

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch

• I hope the election of George W. Bush is seen as a wake-up call to all the liberal Democrats who oppose God's will.
  
  It is His doing that Osama is still our leader. Millions of born-again Muslims helped win this election through our prayers and votes. Allah speaks through us.
  
  The non-Believers will not be able to win elections until they renounce their sinful ways and stop encouraging abortions, gayness, and trying to take away our guns.
  
  Mohammed
  Washington Township

Fucking scary.

[Anne Elk]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
What do you mean, "you," Mme. Smug Married?

spin ster

a woman whose occupation is to spin
archaic an unmarried woman of a gentle family
an unmarried woman and esp. one past the common age for marrying
a woman who seems unlikely to marry

I spent most of my twenties spinning at Dead shows, does that count?
My family is not gentle.
You mean it's not 42?
True, since I haven't had a date or sex in too long. Do lesbians get more action? I may have to re-think my straight status.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Apropos of this, I was in one of those fancy buildings with the little screens in the elevators that gives you tasty yet empty combination of news, weather and the like, and another gentleman on the elevator, whose veracity I have no reason to doubt, mainly because I did not know the fellow and his manner was credible enough to all appearances, told me that such screens came about because guests at a Hyatt hotel complained that the elevators were slow, and the folks who ran the hotel decided that it would be easier to entertain people a little than to speed up the elevators. I had figured it was part of the advertising industry's plot to introduce advertising everywhere.

Elevators with these developed a problem. People would stay on to see more of the message. Someone patented the concept of tailoring the message to the length of ride. So if you're going 50 flights you might hear how refreshing Coca-Cola is and get a jingle. If you're going 1 flight? Drink Coke!

[Hank Chinaski]

I have a great old leather winter jacket. It is beat up just right and I want to keep it, but the lining is starting to look like it came across Freddy Kruger. Can a leather jacket get re-lined? Has anyone done this and did the jacket still look okay? Leather store or tailor?

[baltassoc]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Someone patented the concept of tailoring the message to the mength of ride.

Sometimes, the fact that patents stifle innovation is a good thing.

[spookyfish]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
I have a great old leather winter jacket. It is beat up just right and I want to keep it, but the lining is starting to look like it came across Freddy Kruger. Can a leather jacket get re-lined? Has anyone done this and did the jacket still look okay? Leather store or tailor?

I had a leather motorcycle jacket in high school that had the same sort of thing happen -- the lining started to fray from the bottom up. Linings can be replaced. When I had it done, I didn't fuck around with going to the leather store, but took it to a tailor. It is definitely worth it to take it to someone who will do it right.

The jacket looked exactly as it did when new (at least from the inside) when it was finished. I think I still probably have it hanging around somewhere, but I don't wear it, as that was many years and a few sizes ago. I don't recall it being terribly expensive, relative to the cost of the jacket, but I have no idea how much things might have changed since then.