Fashion Board 1-08-04 through 02-03-04

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I dig your tendency to be a smartass.

[SINGSONG]Thurgreed likes Atticus! Thurgreed likes Atticus![/SONGSONG]

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by evenodds
I didn't realize you and the big guy were so close.

She buys me drinks, I give her info. Dysfuntional, perhaps, but it works.

Drat. Beaten to the punch by Atticus and ncs.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
1. Stating a thesis on how friendships begin and work and expecting people to disprove your "general" conclusion or "usual" result is just plain dumb. No one on this board is going to point you to empirical evidence proving or disproving your brilliant thesis. All other theories will be based on anecdotal evidence.

This isn't the PB. I wasn't expecting to defend my thesis from an embattled position, but I'm not afraid to, either. It was just a thought I had. I won't think any less of me for having been wrong.

My closest friend is male*.

As is mine, also excluding the wife. However, I have read about surveys in which men identify a woman as their best friend and closest confidant. I would surmise that those men are thinking of their spouses (as you and I are not, because we're lawyers and compartmentalize things to make specific points), but it's interesting that married women don't ID their spouses as their best friends at the same rate --- they point to a third party, usually a woman.

There have been times, like college, when we weren't in touch as much as you would think best friends would be, but it made no difference because we were as thick as thieves on breaks. That's the way it is with guys. It's a different type of friendship than the one your wife believes makes up a close friendship. But it is no less strong and we are no less close than your wife and her best friend.

I take it you recognize this is exactly the point I made about male-male friendships in one of my posts. So at least one of my generalizations is supported by TM anecdotal evidence. I say this not to be snarky about it, but because it's important to me to be right about at least one thing today.

I would say that of the people I know who have gotten married, the best man (if not a brother or something) goes farther back than college or law school.

You chose the one indicator of best-friendship that automatically favors men. I think I've been to one wedding where there was a wedding attendant of the opposite sex. And I'm from California, man. Another point to make is that best-man selection is a highly political moment and might skew toward older friends and against better friends.

That said, I'm willing to admit that the survey I read about might have defined "best friend" as a confidant or some shit like that, which caused a disproportionate number of male survey respondents to think, "Shit, dude, I can't say that I confide in a guy, 'cause that sounds totally gay." So they said wife or girlfriend.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
TM's rebuttal to Atticus' Thesis

JHC Atticus, see what you've done? You've gone and put me and TM on the same side of an issue and you've got me agreeing 100% with him on this.
And seriously I was in the process of slamming your Thesis based on a 2 person anecdotal evidence, but TM's version is so much better and more thorough than mine would have been so all I can do is say...what he said.

[dtb]

Originally posted by NotFromHere
I know you don't really believe this. Everyone thinks that not having to work would rock. But unless you're 60, who would you hang out with? It's not like summer break when you can hang out with your buddies. Your buddies will be working and you'll be at home with your X-Box, which would be fun for awhile, but still it would end up sucking.

Are you kidding me? You'd find a different group of friends who are similarly situated and do stuff with them (this is one of those discussions that comes up every so often -- my money's on its sliding into a variant of the "what is classy" theme, but I digress.)

If I had no need to work, I can assure you that I would not be bored or turn into a zombie, or play freakin' video games.

I'd exercise more, I'd learn to play the violin (no, really -- I've always wanted to know how to play the violin), I'd practice the piano, I'd learn another foreign language, I'd spend more time with my children -- and that's just off the top of my head.

Maybe I'd go to film school; maybe I'd get a PhD in English -- just for the fun of it -- I wouldn't have to worry about getting a teaching position somewhere.

Jeez -- the list is endless -- have some imagination!

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Apparently there have been encounters with UFOs. I learned this from OddTodd (his daily fact of Monday).

It's slightly less funny when you remember that "UFO" is not an acronym for "alien space ship," and that the existence of UFOs (as properly defined) is not much in controversy, while the existence of alien space ships is somewhat more doubtful.

I must really want to be a dick today.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I think I've been to one wedding where there was a wedding attendant of the opposite sex.

This is neither here nor there, but I had a "best man" in my wedding. My best friend (said best man) is a guy (who just moved away from NYC, leaving me stranded and very very bummed, btw).

He didn't walk up the aisle or anything. Just made a speech and sat at the head table. But I didn't really have a formal wedding, so he didn't have to match the bridesmaids.* It would have been weird if he just had the status of "guest" at my wedding.

*(lest anyone think I am serious, the bridesmaids did not match. not at all formal).

Edited to note that my mother in law thinks he is in love with me and it appears to drive her nuts. mwahahahaha. I think the reason we are such good friends is that he's probably the only guy friend that I haven't felt at all attracted to ever.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
It's slightly less funny when you remember that "UFO" is not an acronym for "alien space ship," and that the existence of UFOs (as properly defined) is not much in controversy, while the existence of alien space ships is somewhat more doubtful.

I must really want to be a dick today.

so, um, you know of reports of hovering UFOs that have emitted radiation at people? I'm not aware of confirmed reports of this sort of thing, but please do enlighten me.

ps. star trek does not count.

[evenodds]

A Michael Jackson game, with sound:
http://www.zooass.com/games/neverland/neverland.swf
(sound. it has sound.)

[Nut Case, Sensitive]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
so, um, you know of reports of hovering UFOs that have emitted radiation at people? I'm not aware of confirmed reports of this sort of thing, but please do enlighten me.

ps. star trek does not count.

(atticus should realize they're just flying squirrels throwing nuts!)

Nuts! Nuts!

Back to flying!

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
It's slightly less funny when you remember that "UFO" is not an acronym for "alien space ship," and that the existence of UFOs (as properly defined) is not much in controversy, while the existence of alien space ships is somewhat more doubtful.

I must really want to be a dick today.

Starbuck, please.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
so, um, you know of reports of hovering UFOs that have emitted radiation at people? I'm not aware of confirmed reports of this sort of thing, but please do enlighten me.

ps. star trek does not count.

I said "slightly." Not "entirely."

This is a pet peeve. "Jimmy Carter says he saw a UFO! What a bumpkin!" Uh, he reported a flying object that he couldn't identify. Hence, a UFO. It's when you claim to have seen an alien space ship that you qualify for a very long-sleeved shirt.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I think the reason we are such good friends is that he's probably the only guy friend that I haven't felt at all attracted to ever.

I'm sure he would be thrilled to know that.

My only close guy friend (other than my bf) is gay. I'm pretty sure he's never felt any attraction towards me. And visa versa. Though I have seen his member (partially fluffed). Lost bet on his part. It almost got him a date though. [ETA: not with me of course]

My boyfriend is by far my best friend. I will not say anything else on this subject lest I cause leagl to gag.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
This isn't the PB. I wasn't expecting to defend my thesis from an embattled position, but I'm not afraid to, either. It was just a thought I had. I won't think any less of me for having been wrong.

Maybe the problem with what I wrote originally was that I said it to forcefully. But if you go back and read it, I believe it started with something like "In my experience [what you said] is untrue." That was the return thought to the thought you had.

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I would surmise that those men are thinking of their spouses (as you and I are not, because we're lawyers and compartmentalize things to make specific points), but it's interesting that married women don't ID their spouses as their best friends at the same rate --- they point to a third party, usually a woman.

Your problem is that you're depending on a study about friendship which is too subjective a topic to write scientific studies about. A friendship is a friendship. Your relationship with your wife should go beyond friendship. You are close in a way that you could never be with a friend. You are close with your friends in ways you would never be with your wife. Maybe that's the lawyer in me compartmentalizing, but I think they are different things.

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I take it you recognize this is exactly the point I made about male-male friendships in one of my posts. So at least one of my generalizations is supported by TM anecdotal evidence.

Unfair. The post containing your anecdotal evidence came after I categorically rejected your original thesis. And, if you apply your own logic, the TM anecdotal evidence supporting your thesis doesn't make your thesis right because it is anecdotal. And further, you supported your own generalization with anecdotal evidence of your own. (But now, we're just jerking each other off, aren't we?)

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
You chose the one indicator of best-friendship that automatically favors men.

Well, (NFH's multiple "bestest" category notwithstanding), you can only have one best friend and should only have one best man. I would think that the two should always be one and the same. However, I do recognize that political considerations sometimes come into play. However [warning: more anecdotal evidence coming], when I was discussing this topic with my best friend before my wedding, I said, "It wouldn't be right to have anyone else standing up for me as my best man." He said, "I wouldn't even consider it. If you couldn't be at my wedding as the best man, the position would not be filled by some next best man. There wouldn't be one. There is only one best man and you're him all the time."

TM

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I think the reason we are such good friends is that he's probably the only guy friend that I haven't felt at all attracted to ever.

I'll meet you for drinks at 6:00.

TM