The New And Improved Fashion Board

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Are you resenting it/him now or do you worry that you're going to end up resenting him later?

I am more concerned that he will relapse and I will feel guilty and responsible, even though obviously I know I cannot control his behavior.

I am not a moderation person and tend to be the bad influence on those around me, in a fun-loving way, but still - I am rarely led astray, I usually drag people astray with me.

[nononono]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Yeah, it won't work. I suspect even without wanting to drink a lot, it will be a problem. Say all you wanted was a couple glasses of nice wine with dinner. He'll be giving you that look for the rest of your life--the "I can't have that" look, combined with the "and stop rubbing it in my face" look.

I like to cook, and I like to eat meat. I dated a vegetarian once. Literally--I realized there was no way I could live a life with a person who was making moral judgments about my food preferences every time I grilled a steak.

Depends on the person. I know one well who harbors no envy or resentment of others' drinking. I have asked about it specifically, and he is, for the most part at peace about it. I would not, however, trust him in a crowd of users for 30 seconds.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by patentparanyc
You should try it. It is a lot more stable.

Wichita is a lot more stable than San Francisco, but San Francisco is a lot more fun.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ironweed
Leery and feeling bad are two of my most familiar warning signals. I ignore them all the time, but still.

If you're curtailing things you want to do because of him I'd guess that eventually you'll resent him, even if he says it's fine to stay at the bar/restaurant and you insist that you'd prefer to leave. If, however, you find yourself appreciating a sort of check on your drinking then this may be a match made in heaven. I have been in relationships with heavy drinkers and near teetotalers, and have come to appreciate the latter a bit more as I have gotten older.

It's nice to see you vary your mistresses so widely.

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
It's nice to see you vary your mistresses so widely.

The near-teetotaler is on an extended run right now, but I remember a time when she wouldn't have gotten a look in.

[dtb]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
when a woman driver cuts you off, do you assume stereotypes and think in slurs?

by the way, is Dexter's sister stupid, or what?

When someone cuts off my kids' dad in traffic, he calls the person a "stupid woman" - or a Chinese guy [not a slur, really, but a stereotype], even if the person who cut him off is neither a woman, nor Chinese. He's so evolved.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Wichita is a lot more stable than San Francisco, but San Francisco is a lot more fun.

Much better than my attempts to express the same sentiment. I am not one who is drawn to stability AT ALL.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
Wichita is a lot more stable than San Francisco, but San Francisco is a lot more fun.

But where else but Wichita can you see "The Finch Who Stole Christmas?"



Which one do you think is Atticus?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Does such a thing exist?!!!???? He is on some smoking cessation medication -- he started Saturday and claims it is MANDATORY that he smoke for the first seven days.

I smoke occasionally - it is not an issue for me really - take it or leave it. Alcohol is another story. I drink every day, and often drink a LOT at a time and dating him is really curbing my lifestyle, perhaps not in a bad way, but still. Ironweed's resentment theory is prominent in my fears with this guy.

You can run hypos till you're insane. The only way to find out is to give it a shot for a while.

But if it doesn't work, make up a white lie about the reason. m Don't let him think it was his lack of boozing that lost him a chick.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
You can run hypos till you're insane. The only way to find out is to give it a shot for a while.

But if it doesn't work, make up a white lie about the reason. m Don't let him think it was his lack of boozing that lost him a chick.

I think I am more concerned that my boozing will be the cause of him losing his sobriety!

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
Thurgreed tries to teach a pig to sing.

...Because it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I am more concerned that he will relapse and I will feel guilty and responsible, even though obviously I know I cannot control his behavior.

I am not a moderation person and tend to be the bad influence on those around me, in a fun-loving way, but still - I am rarely led astray, I usually drag people astray with me.

I would think, then, it's something that both of you are going to have to be extremely, extremely careful about. The problem is that if he's just out of rehab, he (and you) have absolutely no idea what his limits are. You're both going to have to have extremely good communication on what he can and can't handle and quick plans for how to get him out of environments that might cause trouble.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Yeah, it won't work. I suspect even without wanting to drink a lot, it will be a problem. Say all you wanted was a couple glasses of nice wine with dinner. He'll be giving you that look for the rest of your life--the "I can't have that" look, combined with the "and stop rubbing it in my face" look.

I like to cook, and I like to eat meat. I dated a vegetarian once. Literally--I realized there was no way I could live a life with a person who was making moral judgments about my food preferences every time I grilled a steak.

I'm a vegetarian. I have only ever dated men who eat meat. In several cases, I've dated men who first killed and then ate the meat.

My choice to not eat meat is not a moral judgement. Hell, I even think it smells good.

So, like, could you date me?

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
I'm a vegetarian. I have only ever dated men who eat meat. In several cases, I've dated men who first killed and then ate the meat.

My choice to not eat meat is not a moral judgement. Hell, I even think it smells good.

So, like, could you date me?

I'd recommend checking out the sex before answering.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by taxwonk
...Because it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.

Gotcha. Given that I've heard this again and again, I'm not going to waste my time with him (on this topic) anymore.

TM