Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy

I give you a double entendre in Chinese, and you go fawning all over her like that?

my Mandarin is rusty. I read it pretty clearly, but not as a double entendre?


Meanwhile, what a pleasure tonight is... our first chance to listen to Dick Vitale broadcast a Duke game!

[Shape Shifter]

Originally Posted by bold_n_brazen

I can't let the dog thing go, apparently.

I understand your secretary's desire not to stand by and let a dog die. I do not understand how that translates into a campaign to forbid people from running with their dog.

One of the things that befuddles me about our society right now is people's absolute belief that they know how others should live their lives, and the willingness to impose those beliefs on others.

A Great Dane's tail whacked me in the pee pee while I was feeding the the other morning. It hurt.

The Great Dane is missing now. I'm guessing she got shot by hunters who mistook her for a deer. Because most hunters are not very good hunters.

I do not miss her.

[Shape Shifter]

eta: Plus Danes are mostly Socialist nowadays. She would have been safer being something more egalitarian, like a Pretty Good Dane. The highest blade of grass gets cut first etc.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

my Mandarin is rusty. I read it pretty clearly, but not as a double entendre?


Meanwhile, what a pleasure tonight is... our first chance to listen to Dick Vitale broadcast a Duke game!

If you read the characters separately, you get "Slippery thing" or "Slips it", if you read them together, it means "Amusing!".

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally Posted by Shape Shifter

Because most hunters are not very good hunters.

This is a national tragedy. It has become the sport of idiots and drunkards.

[barely_legal]

Originally Posted by taxwonk

POTD. And not just post of the day, but post of the decade. That last sentence? Magnificent. Understated in its elegance and concision.

God, we haven't had enough of this sort of thing in years.

I'm all about quality over quantity. Unlike my brother.

I asked my husband last night if he would do me a favor and order my brother's birthday present since I didn't get a chance to shop online last night. He started asking me a million questions about what kind my brother wanted -- LED, hand-cranked, hands-free, etc. It took about 20 seconds for me to realize he either really didn't know what a fleshlight was, or he thinks I have a speech impediment.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally Posted by barely_legal

I'm all about quality over quantity. Unlike my brother.

I asked my husband last night if he would do me a favor and order my brother's birthday present since I didn't get a chance to shop online last night. He started asking me a million questions about what kind my brother wanted -- LED, hand-cranked, hands-free, etc. It took about 20 seconds for me to realize he either really didn't know what a fleshlight was, or he thinks I have a speech impediment.

I suspect the LED model would save a lot of energy.

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by barely_legal

I'm all about quality over quantity. Unlike my brother.

I asked my husband last night if he would do me a favor and order my brother's birthday present since I didn't get a chance to shop online last night. He started asking me a million questions about what kind my brother wanted -- LED, hand-cranked, hands-free, etc. It took about 20 seconds for me to realize he either really didn't know what a fleshlight was, or he thinks I have a speech impediment.

He must also think you're cheap. I mean, seriously -- you were gonna get your brother a flashlight?

[barely_legal]

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch

He must also think you're cheap. I mean, seriously -- you were gonna get your brother a flashlight?

I was actually going to get him a gift card to Game Stop until he mentioned the fleshlight.

He just posted on Facebook that he got stopped by the cops last night because they thought he looked too young to be on the streets by himself after dark.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by barely_legal

I'm all about quality over quantity. Unlike my brother.

I asked my husband last night if he would do me a favor and order my brother's birthday present since I didn't get a chance to shop online last night. He started asking me a million questions about what kind my brother wanted -- LED, hand-cranked, hands-free, etc. It took about 20 seconds for me to realize he either really didn't know what a fleshlight was, or he thinks I have a speech impediment.

Unless I misremember incorrectly, I believe i heard a porn star or two on Stern talking about their celebrity models. (LEDs-? Really?)

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by barely_legal

I'm all about quality over quantity. Unlike my brother.

I asked my husband last night if he would do me a favor and order my brother's birthday present since I didn't get a chance to shop online last night. He started asking me a million questions about what kind my brother wanted -- LED, hand-cranked, hands-free, etc. It took about 20 seconds for me to realize he either really didn't know what a fleshlight was, or he thinks I have a speech impediment.

Maybe not. Have you examined all the models?

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by barely_legal

I was actually going to get him a gift card to Game Stop until he mentioned the fleshlight.

He just posted on Facebook that he got stopped by the cops last night because they thought he looked too young to be on the streets by himself after dark.

That's almost the exact inverse of me. I now get carded at bars with a card-everybody policy. Which means at 51, I am showing my license at places I used to stroll on into at 16 with a full beard and the face of a much older man.

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

Unless I misremember incorrectly, I believe i heard a porn star or two on Stern talking about their celebrity models. (LEDs-? Really?)

I don't know if it's only porn stars. I have read (from sketchy sources, but still fun to think about) that celebs like Jennifer Aniston and Emma Watson have been offered over a million to let a manufacturer cast them for product.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by barely_legal

He is 25 and I'm pretty sure has had more sexual partners than I have. We didn't bathe together since he's 13 years younger than me but I did change many of his diapers. I'm pretty sure that experience did not prepare me to choose a sex toy for him.

Here's a fun little story about my brother for context, I guess. A few years ago, I was visiting my mother for the weekend when my brother still lived at home. My mom and I woke him up in the morning to tell him we were going shopping and remind him to take the dog out while we were gone. When he opened his door to talk to us, we saw a girl in his bed. My mother apparently was totally cool with that, but upon seeing the girl, loudly asked my brother, "oh, who is that? Is she the dancer?"

Later, I asked my mother if she knew the girl, and she said that she'd been around the house before hanging out with my brother but she thought they were just friends. I asked my mother what kind of dancer she was, thinking maybe she was a ballet dancer or a salsa instructor or something (give me a break, he's my baby brother). She said she didn't know, but in kind of an annoyed way. I said, then how do you know she's a dancer? She replied "I guess she dances with poles, is that what you wanted to know?" This was my mother's way of informing me that the young lady in question was a stripper.

My brother is also 5'3" and weighed about 100 lbs soaking wet at the time. He's pretty much a delicate little flower. A delicate little flower who bangs strippers.

Twenty-five years old and needs a toy to pleasure himself properly?

You need to sit him down like Christopher Walken did that kid in Pulp Fiction, and drop some science:

"I don't have your parts, but I have a few male friends. Many, some would say. And to a man, it's understood: You don't need a fifty dollar motorized semen-rag to give you a proper hand job. If you can't give yourself the best handjob available... If you can't, as Chris Rock claims (and many of my male friends will attest outside earshot of their better halves), give yourself a 'jerk' that's better than sex with nothing more than the palm and digits you already have, you've got issues, kid. So no -- no Fleshlight, at least not from me...

Here's Infinite Jest. You'll practice masturbation technique a lot trying to get through this."

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Twenty-five years old and needs a toy to pleasure himself properly?

You need to sit him down like Christopher Walken did that kid in Pulp Fiction, and drop some science:

"I don't have your parts, but I have a few male friends. Many, some would say. And to a man, it's understood: You don't need a fifty dollar motorized semen-rag to give you a proper hand job. If you can't give yourself the best handjob available... If you can't, as Chris Rock claims (and many of my male friends will attest outside earshot of their better halves), give yourself a 'jerk' that's better than sex with nothing more than the palm and digits you already have, you've got issues, kid. So no -- no Fleshlight, at least not from me...

Here's Infinite Jest. You'll practice masturbation technique a lot trying to get through this."

Now I really want to know what he asked for from Mom and Dad. I wouldn't ask my brother for a subscription to Maxim magazine, let alone a sex toy. Jeez. I must be a prude.