Fashion Board 12-09-03 through 1-08-04

Originally posted by Dave
Or they should combine a bunch of reality shows, and run Survive the Extreme Mole Makeover, where the contestants are shaved, stripped, brazillianed, reverse mohawked, covered in blue paint and set adrift naked and penniless on the mean streets of New York.

Maybe they could get Michael Jackson for the celeb version.

I just realized your avatar was David Lee Roth. I thought it as Pam Anderson in her small tits phase.

[purse junkie]

Originally posted by Not Bob
I intercepted Mrs. Not Bob's letter to Channukah Charry* the other day, and I learned that she has requested a white, men's-style dress shirt with French cuffs. She had one from Ann Taylor (I think) that finally frayed, so it needs replacement.

Try Pink.

The store, not the neon-clad no-neck monstrosity.

(edited to cut down on quote length; that's someone's big peeve)

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
I think the problem with paigow's latest little award is that, by definition, it gives Slave so little to aspire to. Can we just retire the trophy already?

I will retire the award if you use the James Lipton avatar, oh mighty host of hosts.

Originally posted by Fugee
And you even missed his "I put on Seal and make macaroni and red sauce" discussion. I see he's still trying to work the "I cook and listen to chick music" bit but has moved from Seal to Bocelli. From his blog:

"Anyway, what's what a renaissance man (by his own definition) to do on Sunday without football, Soprano’s, other than listen to some Andrea Bocelli, tuning into MSNBC, reading the Times over some home made Chicken Pizziaola and Linguine."

Is Seal chick music? That's strike two for the candidate interviewing for the position of Camel Replacement. He is the one who inspired my cheers pet peeve. Two convos both ended in cheers and every email has ended in cheers. He is cute and smart but this isnt loking good. He went to a Seal show last week. Is he a waste of my time?

[evenodds]

What a good husband you are.

I recommend this "no iron" shirt from Brooks Brothers. (Yes, I know, Brooks Brothers.)

I received a no iron from a cousin a couple of years ago and I have never been happier with a shirt. The quality is fabulous, but most importantly, you can truly abuse it and it looks like you just picked it up from the dry cleaner. I pulled it out of a duffel bag, wadded up, straightened it out, and wore it to lunch a couple of weeks ago and it looked flawless.

The Missus might like a shirt that looks freshly pressed all day no matter how she has actually spent her day: http://www.brooksbrothers.com/home/s...section_id=302

Originally posted by taxwonk
Equating everything one feels is passe with the mojito and the goatee are at least two.

Cheers,

Tax(I work with Brits so I get to see it all the time)wonk

Don't worry, wonk, the goatee rule doesnt apply to you bc you have a round face and it is clear you arent trying to seem cutting edge by its use. You have legit practical reasons for the goatee.

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Fugee
What kind of state lets stores get around the stupid law by simply posting a sign that they are strictly for novelties but busts a school teacher for selling them to friends in her home?

The law states that an obscene device is "a device including a dildo or artificial vagina, designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs." Pen. Code 43.21, so phrases like "novelty" and "marital aid" help to indicate that the primary purpose isn't genital stimulation. I am hopeful that someone argues that some of the rationale in Lawrence applies to this law too.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally posted by taxwonk
pussy.

Why so angry? Holiday season getting you down? Too many wreaths and dreidels and holiday specials and what have you? Have you spent too much time in parking lots in malls, trying not to let your holiday cheer spill over into homicidal rage at the bleach-blonde Hummer-driving trophy wife who just took up the last 17 spots in the parking lot. Are you tired of forced holiday gatherings where meaningless conversations and vacant smiles thinly veil a seething cauldron of contempt and misanthropy? Are the shiny baubles and gaudy blinking lights insufficient to distract you from yet another joyless season of darkness and despair? Are the omnipresent holiday songs that blare out from tinny loudspeakers and taxi cab radios and unschooled children's choirs, with their laughably naive messages of peace on earth and joy to the world, beginning to claw at the very fabric of your existence to the point that you would rather be tied down and have your eyes gnawed out by a pack of feces-encrusted rats the suffer through another rendition of "Little Drummer Boy"?

Buck up, camper! Just a couple of more weeks and it will be January, and we can begin to prepare for what I consider to be the most wonderful time of the year - those magical couple of weeks leading up to President's Day!

Originally posted by spookyfish
http://www.io.com/~beckerdo/aleknights/toast.html

Spree: List of Toasts in different languages.

My personal favorites from the list:

A Votre Sante - French

Kong-Gang-Ui Wi-Ha-Y - Korean

Ooogy Wawa - Zulu





You sound less than confident here. I suggest you take a page from the Sebastian Dangerfield School of Affirmative Statements.

Try this:

"NOTHING is more pedantic and pretentious than the French version of ANYTHING!"

There, that's better.

Ooogy Wawa

sf

I kinda like "here's mud in your eye" except I wanted something more contracted. Is schlante pronounced "shlahn-tay"? The only way to outEnglish someone is to go Scot. also, it reminds me of schlong a little bit. will this convey my point?

[evenodds]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I kinda like "here's mud in your eye" except I wanted something more contracted. Is schlante pronounced "shlahn-tay"? The only way to outEnglish someone is to go Scot. also, it reminds me of schlong a little bit. will this convey my point?

The only way to irritate an Irishman is to misattribute Slainte to the Scots.

PS The English hate us more.

Originally posted by evenodds
The only way to irritate an Irishman is to misattribute Slainte to the Scots.

PS The English hate us more.

I didnt write slainte, I wrote schlante. Are you the patron saint of the Irish now too?

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
I didnt write slainte, I wrote schlante. Are you the patron saint of the Irish now too?

Sure she is. Remember the Black Irish?

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
Oh, I forgot... the one thing worse than "cheers" is "salud". Cheesiest guido toast of all time. Whenever I hear this I want to turn to the speaker and say "Hey, Paulie, how was it whacking Pussy?" I generally find this toast is used most by short men.

Is it okay if the Italian side of your family has ALWAYS said it*?

*only around other family members at dinner.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by paigowprincess
TO: Paig's sock
FROM: Paigs
DATE: The Sellby for something
RE: Flaming Coltrane

We aren't doing kegger/sequel jokes on Coltrane anymore bc we don't want to encourage any more misogynistic cracks in the spirit of light banter. Spinster jokes are fair game, but make sure they have the ring of truth to them. As we do fall squarely in the spinster category.

Shut up, bitch, before I smack you with one of your many cats.

TM

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Is it okay if the Italian side of your family has ALWAYS said it*?

*only around other family members at dinner.

What he said, but Texican instead of Italian?