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05-18-2004, 11:35 AM
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#1486
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Fast left eighty slippy
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,236
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Public Service Announcement
Quote:
Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
The shelves were nice and level and they supported the weight of books, etc.
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Ooh, big ones, huh? Nice!
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05-18-2004, 11:35 AM
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#1487
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It's all about me.
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Enough about me. Let's talk about you. What do you think of me?
Posts: 6,004
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Public Service Announcement
Quote:
Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
"if it comes down to either hitting the car or the kid on the bike, hit the kid. You could get hurt if you hit the car."
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This is an excellent life philosophy. I believe we all should embrace it as our own.
__________________
Always game for a little hand-to-hand chainsaw combat.
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05-18-2004, 11:35 AM
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#1488
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Proud Holder-Post 200,000
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Corner Office
Posts: 86,129
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Public Service Announcement
Quote:
Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop
My driver's ed teacher, similar in essential respects to those described above, liked to tell us about his favorite cheap eats -- all you can eat buffets and happy hours at drinking establishments on state highways in nearby towns. Recently he was arrested for statutory rape. But I don't know whether he liked my bookshelf because I don't know what that means.
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My guy was wormy. Thick black glasses, slicked back hair, bad skin. Repugnant, one might say.
Anyway, his advice to the young ladies in the class was that if their car ever broke down, they should tie a white cloth to the antenna and stay in the car with the doors locked until help arrived. "Otherwise, you're possibly going to get ravished." He said the last leaning in with a hoarse whisper that conveyed alot about what he was really thinking.
He also told us that statiscally half of us will die in a car crash.
Didn't anyone have a normal guy?
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05-18-2004, 11:35 AM
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#1489
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Fast left eighty slippy
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,236
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Public Service Announcement
Quote:
Originally posted by paigowprincess
I am torn between "board motto" and "cite please"
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1.
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05-18-2004, 11:36 AM
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#1490
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Flyover land
Posts: 19,042
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Public Service Announcement
Quote:
Originally posted by ABBAKiss
Bookshelf = TITS
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I always suspected Coltrane had tits. Unattractive ones, too.
Re: Braille menus at the drive thru. When I am driving the group of blind people around in the van, I am very happy that McDonald's is able to give me a bunch of braille menus to hand out. On the other hand, when it is Joe's turn to drive the van, I get mightily pissed when he's ahead of me in the drive-thru.
So I have mixed feelings on the menus. Perhaps they should only be used when people order inside the restaurant, with maybe an exception for those places that have the drive-thru open later than the inside part.
__________________
I'm using lipstick again.
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05-18-2004, 11:38 AM
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#1491
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I am beyond a rank!
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Glasgow, natch.
Posts: 2,807
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Jimmy Fallon Quits SNL
Quote:
Originally posted by Shape Shifter
I hear Horatio Sanz is planning to make a movie out of his most memorable charater, . . . um . . . ah . . . fuck it. He's not making a movie.
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Least funny fat guy. Ever.
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05-18-2004, 11:38 AM
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#1492
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Pop goes the chupacabra
Posts: 18,532
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Public Service Announcement
Quote:
Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
Every single one of these e-mails has had some variation on the "Did you ever wonder why they have braille at drive-thru ATMs/braille menus available at the druve-thru?" gag. .
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I have been fortunate not to receive these emails, ever. But, you have caused me to ponder it.
Having done so, I think the question should be changed to "why do they have kids' happy meals on the drive thru menu?"
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05-18-2004, 11:39 AM
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#1493
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Fast left eighty slippy
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,236
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Public Service Announcement
My drivers' ed (Hi, dtb! I considered the apostrophe, and I think that either placement would be ok. I'm not sure what the class was officially called, but there were definitely multiple drivers being educated.) guy would always let this one guy drive for his entire turn without a seat belt on, and they fail him for that session for forgetting it. The kid always forgot to put it on. I thought it was pretty funny, but I always worried how fucked that guy would have been if that kid got in an accident and got hurt.
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05-18-2004, 11:41 AM
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#1494
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Rageaholic
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: On the margins.
Posts: 3,507
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Public Service Announcement
Quote:
Originally posted by Pretty Little Flower
I need to step in. We are now making jokes about braille at drive-thrus. In the last ten years alone, I have been forwarded approximately 17,000 e-mails containing strings of "funny" one liners and other humorous ponderings, often related to amusing takes on the differences between the genders. These e-mails are littered with emoticons, and usually contain some message in the subject line foreshadowing the hilarity I am going to encounter in the e-mail itself. Every single one of these e-mails has had some variation on the "Did you ever wonder why they have braille at drive-thru ATMs/braille menus available at the druve-thru?" gag. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Spookyfish, I do not mean to pick on you, but we really need to pick up our game here.
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Duly noted, and I appreciate that you respect me enough as a poster to criticise me constructively.
And while, under normal circumstances, I accept the basic premise of your argument in most situations, your rule is trumped by the number one rule of comedy, which is "know your audience".
And who was I replying to? Who, bilmore?
__________________
Some people say I need anger management. I say fuck them.
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05-18-2004, 11:42 AM
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#1495
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Throwing a kettle over a pub
Posts: 14,743
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Public Service Announcement
Quote:
Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Ty, "liking my bookshelf" means that he literally liked my bookshelf that I made in his shop class (not his drivers ed class). The shelves were nice and level and they supported the weight of books, etc.
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I don't remember ANYTHING else I made in shop class.
I do remember that in chemistry lab, my lab partner and I had a goal to discover which substances were flammable. So we basically poured everything we were given on the lab table and lit it or tried to light it on fire.* Apparently, the smoke from iodine** can cause a room evacuation!!
*of course, we were wearing our safety goggles
**I think it was iodine.
__________________
No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.
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05-18-2004, 11:42 AM
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#1496
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Moderator
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Flower
Posts: 8,434
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Public Service Announcement
Quote:
Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
I have been fortunate not to receive these emails, ever. But, you have caused me to ponder it.
Having done so, I think the question should be changed to "why do they have kids' happy meals on the drive thru menu?"
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Coltrane gets the e-mails.
__________________
Inside every man lives the seed of a flower.
If he looks within he finds beauty and power.
I am not sorry.
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05-18-2004, 11:43 AM
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#1497
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Steaming Hot
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Giving a three hour blowjob
Posts: 8,220
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Public Service Announcement
Quote:
Originally posted by spookyfish
And who was I replying to? Who, bilmore?
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Since dtb appears to be asleep at the switch, I will step in.
Whom, bilmore? is appropriate.
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05-18-2004, 11:47 AM
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#1498
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Fast left eighty slippy
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,236
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Shoelace questions
I need to buy a bunch of new shoelaces, and I have a few shoelace questions. These may not be as exciting as a bunch of big breast, bookshelf-style racks, but I suppose that you could tie someone up with shoelaces, or lightly touch them to exposed nipples, or something like that. So, bear with me.
First of all, what's the best type of retail establishment at which o buy shoelaces. Shoe repair places don't have them. The places I buy my shoes don't have them. I usually buy them at a Walgreen's-type place, and I just bought some on the internet, but that brings me to my next question.
What are the kind of shoelaces called that have an actual string on the inside, surrounded by a slight cushiony layer on the outside? All my dress shoes come with these types of laces originally, and they're great beceause, even if they're not that strong and durable, they can be tied with minimal tightness, but the compression of the outside layer holds them in place without loosening for a long time.
The only ones I can find are either braided or waxed, and they both suck for staying tied.
Thanks in advance. If it helps, I am looking for a size that would be slightly smaller than the measurement around ABBA's fabulous breasts.
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05-18-2004, 11:48 AM
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#1499
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Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Monty Capuletti's gazebo
Posts: 26,203
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Public Service Announcement
Quote:
Originally posted by spookyfish
Duly noted, and I appreciate that you respect me enough as a poster to criticise me constructively.
And while, under normal circumstances, I accept the basic premise of your argument in most situations, your rule is trumped by the number one rule of comedy, which is "know your audience".
And who was I replying to? Who, bilmore?
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Are you giggling uncontrollably?
__________________
All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds.
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05-18-2004, 11:48 AM
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#1500
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Fast left eighty slippy
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,236
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Public Service Announcement
Quote:
Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Since dtb appears to be asleep at the switch, I will step in.
Whom, bilmore? is appropriate.
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Also, "Whom was I referring to?"
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