Happy Birthday, Preston Michael Spears Federline and other Certain Special Someones!

[str8outavannuys]

Spooky: I am on a gambling TEAR right now. Everything I touch turns to gold. I think I'm 10-1 on baseball bets this week (only loss was the extra inning Chi Sox game on Tuesday). And I've been on the Indians for every one of the last 22 games. So relax, I've clearly wiped off that bad mojo somewhere along the line.

Hell, I even had the US-Guatemala game to end in a draw (at +240, thank you very much).

Hail me.

And now, my picks of the weekend. I've got four of them (in addition to the Indians every game over the Royals).

Yankees -260 tonight over Ted Lilly and the Blue Jays. I know it's a steep price to pay, but put it in some parlays or something, because Ted Lilly is dog meat.

Wisconsin +3 (2.5?) over Michigan. More of the Bryant Calhoun show. Last week was as bad as that offense could play, and they still won by 9 on the road at UNC.

St. Louis -6.5 -- home turf, home cooking, and a whole lot of Stephen Jackson and Torry Holt.

Finally, this one might sound bizarre, but take San Francisco +6.5. One thing I think they can do is stop the run a little bit, and Julius Jones is not all that behind that overrated O-Line. I liked the way they played at home in Week 1. I hate Drew Bledsoe as much as ever. Should be a low scoring game.

That is all.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
That's just mean. If you were giving me a blumpkin, I would definitely try to splash you with a giant turd.

What is the appeal of a blumpkin? Do you people masturbate while taking shits? It just seems like the time spent moving one's bowels is not all that long compared to the length of a blow job.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
What is the appeal of a blumpkin? Do you people masturbate while taking shits? It just seems like the time spent moving one's bowels is not all that long compared to the length of a blow job.

It's a joke. Just like:

The Arabian Goggles
Jelly Donut
Dirty Sanchez
Abe Lincoln

And thousands more I can't remember.

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
It's a joke. Just like:

The Arabian Goggles
Jelly Donut
Dirty Sanchez
Abe Lincoln

And thousands more I can't remember.

Dude. I can't believe you just sold out the side like that. She was considering it.

The Cleveland Steamer is real, by the way.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
What is the appeal of a blumpkin? Do you people masturbate while taking shits? It just seems like the time spent moving one's bowels is not all that long compared to the length of a blow job.

What's unappealing?

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
It's a joke. Just like:

Blumpkins are real dude. Check the infirm Chicago board. There are true stories. True stories. And this is in additition to Wonk's out-call service. No offence.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
It just seems like the time spent moving one's bowels is not all that long compared to the length of a blow job.

Remember, this is young Coltrane you're talking about. The blow job may well be over long before he's ready to reach for the toilet paper. And remember, once ge gets off, you're not supposed to be touching his dick for a while.

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
Despite Pony's bukkake link, this may be the dullest Friday in the history of the boreds. Is everybody trying to get to ACL? Please, somebody entertain me.

What sort of fake accent did you use to call those numbers you found on the college website?

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by ironweed
Dude. I can't believe you just sold out the side like that. She was considering it.

The Cleveland Steamer is real, by the way.

Word. Hank's wife pays me extra to give her the Cleveland Steamer. I felt icky doing that to my biological babies' mamma, but money talks.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
Blumpkins are real dude. Check the infirm Chicago board. There are true stories. True stories. And this is in additition to Wonk's out-call service. No offence.

Remember when you checked into the not clean Cleveland Hotel room? Was it a blumpkin bowl, or just the half?

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by ironweed
What sort of fake accent did you use to call those numbers you found on the college website?

I was actually thinking e-mail. Like I said, I think I can narrow it down to about a half-dozen possibilities. Innocent enough; I just want to know how my restuarant recommendation turned out. Also wouldn't mind a review of the new hipster hotel, having blown my chance to actually check it out.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
I was actually thinking e-mail. Like I said, I think I can narrow it down to about a half-dozen possibilities. Innocent enough; I just want to know how my restuarant recommendation turned out. Also wouldn't mind a review of the new hipster hotel, having blown my chance to actually check it out.

But if you mass mail, the wrong 5 would hold the info over the correct 1, say if she were married or engaged.

[NotFromHere]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
Comparing a JAP from Mercer Island to the archetypical JAP from Long Island is reminiscent of the time Coltrane was wearing his Boston Marathon Age Group winner Finisher's T-shirt and a fat bald 47 year old accountant from KPMG came up to him and said, "Hey, I am a runner too, I did the Corporate Challenge Relay two years ago".

I think you're wrong.
So does this cat.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
Remember when you checked into the not clean Cleveland Hotel room? Was it a blumpkin bowl, or just the half?

It was the Four Seasons. There was no toilet paper in the bowel, what does that indicate?

[NotFromHere]

Proof that people are mean to their pets. Or that they give their cats drugs.





This is the fattest cat ever.