A frolic in Cambodia

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by spookyfish
Well, of course not, because wouldn't that make your previous rant hypocritical? Unless you're really perfect of course.

Actually, I could do that and not be a hypocrite. All that would be required to avoid hypocrisy would be that I be more attractive than the person on whom I was commenting.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
What I find odd is that one can control ones weight. One cannot necessarily control or create wit, intelligence, athletic ability, or inherent beauty. I think it is ridiculous to rip on someone for something that they are either born with or not. It's like ripping on someone because their dad is a garbage man. What does this have to do with them?

What I find odd is that people who are overweight tend to know it, and tend to know how society feels about it, so why rip on them at all?

You know, my family was stingy with compliments, and my father was generous with criticism about behavior, but I don't recall anyone in my family ever making a derogatory comment about my appearance. My mother would occasionally utter "you paid $40 for that?" with respect to a haircut, but usually she meant that if you were going to pay that much, you ought to have had more taken off. It's too bad she's not here today so I can tell her that I have taken her philosophy to heart with respect to bikini waxing.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by bold_n_brazen
You are also very witty, very intelligent, very athletic, and very pretty when I am drunk too.

Right! And likewise!!!!! This is why I love being drunk -- it makes EVERYTHING better.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Yep, you know he means it right? Exactly. It is said honestly, without any other motive. He's not saying it b/c he fucked up, or b/c he wants the dishes done, or b/c he's playing poker instead of going the to the couples' shower.

Oh, bullshit. If they are getting ready to go out on a Saturday night, and he thinks that she looks nice in her new dress or latex miniskirt or "Chick's Rule" t-shirt (and since he's her "um, friend," then I feel safe in assuming that he does), then he should say it. A lot. It doesn't become insincere because he says it more than once a millenium.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
What I find odd is that people who are overweight tend to know it, and tend to know how society feels about it, so why rip on them at all?

I see your point. My point, though, was that the overweight person could potentially benefit from criticism whereas a person with a slow or nonexistent wit doesn't really have a chance so why criticize? It's like being super proud that you can color between the lines better than a blind person can.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
What I find odd is that one can control ones weight. One cannot necessarily control or create wit, intelligence, athletic ability, or inherent beauty. I think it is ridiculous to rip on someone for something that they are either born with or not. It's like ripping on someone because their dad is a garbage man. What does this have to do with them?

I disagree. I think wit can be nurtured, intelligence gained (at least book knowledge - interesting facts, etc...), athletic ability at least improved and even beauty improved, all within limits, of course.

And one can overcome the other. A moderately attractive, funny, nice chick is probably going to grab my attention and hold it a lot longer than a hot mean, dull chick.

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Yep, you know he means it right? Exactly. It is said honestly, without any other motive. He's not saying it b/c he fucked up, or b/c he wants the dishes done, or b/c he's playing poker instead of going the to the couples' shower.

we'd both be playing poker.

it all comes down to sincerity. I agree with rp that sincerely complimenting someone more often will not make the compliments less valuable. that doesn't make giving compliments necessarily any easier to those that are uncomfortable with doing so.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by ABBAKiss
I see your point. My point, though, was that the overweight person could potentially benefit from criticism

That is so thoughtful. I'm sure the criticism is always taken in the spirit with which it was intended.

a person with a slow or nonexistent wit doesn't really have a chance so why criticize? It's like being super proud that you can color between the lines better than a blind person can.

Because it's fun to watch the slow-witted ones try.

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally posted by sebastian_dangerfield
ETA: No, the worst is the guy who tells you a story about some crazy sex weekend or some wild date and you know he actually was home all weekend playing Doom. You're listening politely and the whole time you're feeling "Shit, this is awkward... am I acting like I believe him enough? Or does my obvious lack of belief in this story showing through?"

And I thought we were friends. I really do have a girlfriend in Canada.

[Not Bob]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
we'd both be playing poker.

it all comes down to sincerity. I agree with rp that sincerely complimenting someone more often will not make the compliments less valuable. that doesn't make giving compliments necessarily any easier to those that are uncomfortable with doing so.

Speaking as one who was once like that, I can tell you that it gets easier the more you do it. If you like the way he looks in his new dress or latex miniskirt or "Chick's Rule" t-shirt on Saturday night, let him know.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by Not Bob
Oh, bullshit. If they are getting ready to go out on a Saturday night, and he thinks that she looks nice in her new dress or latex miniskirt or "Chick's Rule" t-shirt (and since he's her "um, friend," then I feel safe in assuming that he does), then he should say it.

Of course. That's when he should say it.

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
we'd both be playing poker.

it all comes down to sincerity. I agree with rp that sincerely complimenting someone more often will not make the compliments less valuable. that doesn't make giving compliments necessarily any easier to those that are uncomfortable with doing so.

I've never been to a couples shower. And I won't ever attend one. I am personally stopping the moron train right there. Luckily, my wonderfully beautiful girlfriend would never require me to attend one.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Of course. That's when he should say it.

Ever get reverse of the compliment problem? I had a boss some time ago who had a rather attractive daughter. He'd say "Isn't she cute" in a wholesome way and I'd be thinking "Oh yes, yes she is." She came into the office once in a perfectly-fitting t shirt and all I could do was stare out the window as they spoke. The guy was obviously smart enough to realize that I was basically saying "Look, if I look over there, I'm going to stare at your hs age daughters breasts, and I'm just not going to do that." I felt like the guy in Old School who finds out he nailed the boss' daughter, only I wish I'd done so and didn't.

ETA: Or even worse is when you're at the pool and your buddy's wife gets out and you can clearly see every inch of her and you're watching her walk toward the two of you and you're thinking "He knows I'm thinking of what its like to fuck her" and he's thinking "I know he knows I know he's thinking about what its like to fuck her." With one friend, I'll actually say "We really ought to tryb to get our wives to go at it sometime" which is a soft way of saying "I'd love to see your wife naked." Again, never had the guts to make it happen.

[greatwhitenorthchick]

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Of course. That's when he should say it.

This is my take. I dated this totally hot guy who apparently used to be a chubby kid (he was not a chubby adult - in fact, he had a very low body fat percentage). But he had these hang-ups - like even though he was really hot now, he wasn't hot then, so he wouldn't believe that anyone meant what they said when they complimented him. I told him he was hot all the time, and he thought I was being fake, like I wanted something. No matter how many times I explained that he was just too hot for me not to say anything and I meant it, he didn't believe me. It was too bad. That's just one example, but maybe sometimes people who don't like being complimented are just not trusting the complimentor or something - so it's really all in their head that the complementor doesn't mean it or wants something.

I was an ugly duckling but I love getting compliments. I bask.

[ABBAKiss]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
That is so thoughtful. I'm sure the criticism is always taken in the spirit with which it was intended.

Hey man -- I only rip on RUDE fats. Not all fats. Only rude ones or ones who breathe heavily while eating in my presence.

Because it's fun to watch the slow-witted ones try.

In a very Sesame Street way, I am into rhyming today and I will add that it is also fun to watch low-titted ones cry.